Health value of feelings

[Jim]

NOTE: This thread is not in a debate forum. It might raise issues that will need to be debated in some other forum, but I”ll just be posting some ideas without trying to prove them, and hoping for others to post theirs.

(edited to add the following)
I won’t object to people posting ideas about how to avoid stirring up.anger and hurt feelings, or how to avoid feeling hurt or angry, but what I’m looking for is ideas about the health value of those feelings.
(end edir)

Sometimes in discussions about harmful online behavior in Internet discussions, there are posts stigmatizing people whose feelings are adversely affected by other people’s posts, and posts advising people to just stop caring what other people say about them. Besides that being easier said than done sometimes, I think that it would actualy be very unhealthy. I think that all our feelings, including anger, jealousy and all other stigmatized feelings, are indispensable for the best possibilities to happen for everyone, and that it’s very unhealthy to stigmatize them and try to repress them or escape from them.

 

[Spirit of Light]

NOTE: This thread is not in a debate forum. It might raise issues that will need to be debated in some other forum, but I”ll just be posting some ideas without trying to prove them, and hoping for others to post theirs.

Sometimes in discussions about harmful online behavior in Internet discussions, there are posts stigmatizing people whose feelings are adversely affected by other people’s posts, and posts advising people to just stop caring what other people say about them. Besides that being easier said than done sometimes, I think that it would actualy be very unhealthy. I think that all our feelings, including anger, jealousy and all other stigmatized feelings, are indispensable for the best possibilities to happen for everyone, and that it’s very unhealthy to stigmatize them and try to repress them or escape from them.

Not to disprove any of what you Said, because much of it is valid information
The way i realized it is to letting go of the attachments can be done by understanding the cause of the situation that make us angry, jealoues and so forth.
So understanding why something happens to us, lead us to understand that it is not toward us as a person the case of our anger lays, it is our own feelings of wrongdoing toward us, or that we feel the other person is wrong. But when realized that it is our self that is the problem, we can let go of the attachments

I honestly struggle a bit with this my self, much of my anger do arise in RF discussion

 

[Jim]

But when realized that it is our self that is the problem ...

There might be some truth in that which I might come back to later, but in the way that it’s written it’s an example of what I mean by stigmatizing people whose feelings are adversely affected by other people’s posts, Besides the psychological damage that might do sometimes, It clouds the issue of haemful looks to me like denying the harmfulness and wrongfulness of some online behavior and diverting attention from it, and maybe sometimes it intimidates people into silence about it.

 

[Eyes to See]

NOTE: This thread is not in a debate forum. It might raise issues that will need to be debated in some other forum, but I”ll just be posting some ideas without trying to prove them, and hoping for others to post theirs.

Sometimes in discussions about harmful online behavior in Internet discussions, there are posts stigmatizing people whose feelings are adversely affected by other people’s posts, and posts advising people to just stop caring what other people say about them. Besides that being easier said than done sometimes, I think that it would actualy be very unhealthy. I think that all our feelings, including anger, jealousy and all other stigmatized feelings, are indispensable for the best possibilities to happen for everyone, and that it’s very unhealthy to stigmatize them and try to repress them or escape from them.

We should all be careful with our speech. Treat others as we want to be treated. Differences of opinion are fine. It's not right to try and force another person to think the way you want them to.

What I find tends to slow down anger is insight into a matter. When one is able to see below the surface and understand why someone is reacting or behaving the way they do it usually helps one to react more calmly. There is usually a reason for anger, it is usually triggered by a perceived injustice, real or not.

 

[Jim]

Not to disprove any of what you Said, because much of it is valid information
The way i realized it is to letting go of the attachments can be done by understanding the cause of the situation that make us angry, jealoues and so forth.
So understanding why something happens to us, lead us to understand that it is not toward us as a person the case of our anger lays, it is our own feelings of wrongdoing toward us, or that we feel the other person is wrong. But when realized that it is our self that is the problem, we can let go of the attachments

I honestly struggle a bit with this my self, much of my anger do arise in RF discussion

I might be misunrstanding what you’re saying, so I’ll ask some questions about it. It looks to me like you’re saying for example that that any time that a person feels hurt, churned up or angry about what other people are saying, there’s never any good reason for it, and they are always wtong to feel that way. It looks to me like you’re saying that the only thing anyone needs to do about insults, personal attacks and stereotyping in Internet discussions is learn not to feel hurt or angry when it happens to them. Is that what you’re thinking?

 

[Spirit of Light]

I might be misunrstanding what you’re saying, so I’ll ask some questions about it. It looks to me like you’re saying for example that that any time that a person feels hurt, churned up or angry about what other people are saying, there’s never any good reason for it, and they are always wtong to feel that way. It looks to me like you’re saying that the only thing anyone needs to do about insults, personal attacks and stereotyping in Internet discussions is learn not to feel hurt or angry when it happens to them. Is that what you’re thinking?

I was trying to say we should not it take personally, if we get upset and start to think negative, it is our self that start to suffer so if someone treat us badly, we should try to stay call, and detatch to the negativity.

Easy to say, but i am my self an example of knowing the truth is not always enough to do something about it in our life. I do often feel frustrated in RF..... And i have spoken negative to soon....to many times. And end up as the one who suffer

 

[Jim]

I was trying to say we should not it take personally, if we get upset and start to think negative, it is our self that start to suffer so if someone treat us badly, we should try to stay call, and detatch to the negativity.

Easy to say, but i am my self an example of knowing the truth is not always enough to do something about it in our life. I do often feel frustrated in RF..... And i have spoken negative to soon....to many times. And end up as the one who suffer

I’ll come back to that later. For now, I’d like to know if you think that the only thing anyone needs to do about insults, personal attacks and stereotyping in Internet discussions is to never think that it’s happening to them? Also, do you have any thoughts about the possible health value of anger and hurt feelings?

 

[Sp0ckrates]

NOTE: This thread is not in a debate forum. It might raise issues that will need to be debated in some other forum, but I”ll just be posting some ideas without trying to prove them, and hoping for others to post theirs.

(edited to add the following)
I won’t object to people posting ideas about how to avoid stirring up.anger and hurt feelings, or how to avoid feeling hurt or angry, but what I’m looking for is ideas about the health value of those feelings.
(end edir)

Sometimes in discussions about harmful online behavior in Internet discussions, there are posts stigmatizing people whose feelings are adversely affected by other people’s posts, and posts advising people to just stop caring what other people say about them. Besides that being easier said than done sometimes, I think that it would actualy be very unhealthy. I think that all our feelings, including anger, jealousy and all other stigmatized feelings, are indispensable for the best possibilities to happen for everyone, and that it’s very unhealthy to stigmatize them and try to repress them or escape from them.

For me, the Socratic Method is an effective way to disarm those who want a fight and to get them sharing ideas. Every forum post is a question, unless someone asks a question of me, then I answer as sincerely and respectfully as I’m able.

Each question is designed to learn what the other believes and why he or she believes it. The method eventually ends in either myself or the other person learning something new. But it’s not me telling the person to believe anything I say. It’s the person finding the answers himself or herself. We both learn together and we avoid debate altogether.

Using the Socratic Method is also a great way to find the right people to have a discussion with. Those who want to argue will avoid answering your questions. You probably won’t get much good out of talking to them anyway!

For examples of the Socratic Method in practice, one can read Plato’s dialogues online. A good one to start with is “Theatetus”.

 

[Jim]

For me, the Socratic Method is an effective way to disarm those who want a fight and to get them sharing ideas. Every forum post is a question, unless someone asks a question of me, then I answer as sincerely and respectfully as I’m able.

Each question is designed to learn what the other believes and why he or she believes it. The method eventually ends in either myself or the other person learning something new. But it’s not me telling the person to believe anything I say. It’s the person finding the answers himself or herself. We both learn together and we avoid debate altogether.

Using the Socratic Method is also a great way to find the right people to have a discussion with. Those who want to argue will avoid answering your questions. You probably won’t get much good out of talking to them anyway!

For examples of the Socratic Method in practice, one can read Plato’s dialogues online. A good one to start with is “Theatetus”.

Thanks. That looks to me like a good way to help make the discussions more fruitful and fun for everyone.

Do you have any thoughts on the possible value and usefulness of anger and hurt feelings?

 

[Jim]

We should all be careful with our speech. Treat others as we want to be treated. Differences of opinion are fine. It's not right to try and force another person to think the way you want them to.

What I find tends to slow down anger is insight into a matter. When one is able to see below the surface and understand why someone is reacting or behaving the way they do it usually helps one to react more calmly. There is usually a reason for anger, it is usually triggered by a perceived injustice, real or not.

Thank you.

Do you have any thoughts about the possible value and usefulness of anger and hurt feelings?

 

[Spirit of Light]

I’ll come back to that later. For now, I’d like to know if you think that the only thing anyone needs to do about insults, personal attacks and stereotyping in Internet discussions is to never think that it’s happening to them? Also, do you have any thoughts about the possible health value of anger and hurt feelings?

I can not say what others should or should not do I speak only from my own experience, others may see it differently (i am sure many do see it differently then i do)
Anger is never good for health Nor is worries or mental issues. But it is not easy to say what will fit everyone. To me, the teaching i cultivate has helped, but there is still a lot more i have to fix within my self

 

[Jim]

I can not say what others should or should not do I speak only from my own experience, others may see it differently (i am sure many do see it differently then i do)
Anger is never good for health Nor is worries or mental issues. But it is not easy to say what will fit everyone. To me, the teaching i cultivate has helped, but there is still a lot more i have to fix within my self

Now I’m wondering if it matters to you what happens to anyone else in the forums?

 

[Spirit of Light]

Now I’m wondering if it matters to you what happens to anyone else in the forums?

Yes, of course, it matters to me that other people are well and do not face too much negativity, I have compassion even for those people I have been irritated toward the last week, It is not their fault that i get angry from what they say, that is on me because it looks like I still do not have full control of my own ego. Honestly, what some people have said about me or what I cultivate should not affect me the way it has done, I do know the reason why I been more vulnerable to critique then i should have been, but that is a bit too personal to speak of in your thread. i don't want to derail your thread.

 

[A Vestigial Mote]

It's not right to try and force another person to think the way you want them to.

If someone has broccoli in their teeth when you're talking to them, do you just let them go right on with the broccoli stuck there, let them walk away and encounter others as well? Move throughout the rest of their day with broccoli sticking between their teeth? How about if it was toilet paper stuck to the bottom of their shoe? Chocolate (we hope) smeared on their forehead?

What if, when a person engages another and sees a mode of thinking they believe to be a potential source of embarrassment, or the product of ignorance, or even some potential detriment to anyone they might go on to spread the ideas around to - what if in that situation, the person witnessing can't help but attempt to give the other person a few pointers? And if they have the goods to back themselves up, argumentatively, then perhaps they will spread their more well-founded ideas, and the other may have to look for better perspective on their own idea that was subsequently found to be lacking. Or the opposite could very well happen - that is, the person tells the other he has broccoli stuck in his teeth, and the other corrects him, and tells him it is actually kale, and explains some very good reason he keeps kale in his mouth during conversations - and then the acceptance of new perspective happens for the observer.

You see, things like this happen ALL THE TIME. It may sound well and good to "not downplay or openly challenge anyone's thoughts or ideas" - but in practice that is not only impractical, but dangerous to a social group of abstract-thinking beings like ourselves. Just think of what the world would be like if no one ever thought it was prudent to try and change anyone else's minds on the ideas of slavery.

 

[Sp0ckrates]

Thanks. That looks to me like a good way to help make the discussions more fruitful and fun for everyone.

Do you have any thoughts on the possible value and usefulness of anger and hurt feelings?

Such suffering are the stuff of what closeness to God are made of! I like the ancient Jewish King David’s thoughts on the matter in the Bible’s Psalms.