Future of Marriage Matchmaking

[Brickjectivity]

Hi, I'm Mr. West (but could be Mr. Right). I have a question about how marriage is going to work in the future assuming that we figure out how to do it better, matching people up to people that work for them. I'm interested in hearing about things like the impact of Eharmony and services which psychologically help find matches, and I'm interested in hearing about other methods like just sleeping around. What will eventually be the pattern for finding someone who can stand you and whom you can stand for the rest of your life?

I hear about the divorce rate, and I think its painful. People shouldn't have to deal with that so frequently. I think people will always be getting married, but what is going to change about it that makes it better? What does the ideal Future hold?

Here are a couple videos that claim to tell us why we marry the wrong people (when we select partners by romantic searches, dating etc.)

 

[Enoch07]

I'm interested in hearing about things like the impact of Eharmony and services which psychologically help find matches, and I'm interested in hearing about other methods like just sleeping around.

All terrible, the issue is people lie abou themselves on their personality test. They pick what they wish to be not how they actually are. So its just a bunch of mismatched personalities that don't get along.

What will eventually be the pattern for finding someone who can stand you and whom you can stand for the rest of your life?

Going back to a more traditional dating. Not necessarily waiting for sex affect marriage mind you. But going back to courting someone for 6 months or so before being intimate. Really getting to know each other and establishing emotional attachments for both folks.

I hear about the divorce rate, and I think its painful. People shouldn't have to deal with that so frequently.

When relationships stop being built around sex. You will see a drop in divorce rate imo. Sex is the weakest foundation to build a relationship upon, and it is the most common nowadays.

 

[Aupmanyav]

Love or arranged marriage (normally by parents here in Asia). Both methods have their problems. We did not do too well for our children, not that we forced them into it. But in future, marriage by choice is going to be the pattern, the consequences also will remain with them. Changes in life-styles cannot be stopped.

 

[Road Warrior]

Hi, I'm Mr. West (but could be Mr. Right). I have a question about how marriage is going to work in the future assuming that we figure out how to do it better, matching people up to people that work for them. I'm interested in hearing about things like the impact of Eharmony and services which psychologically help find matches, and I'm interested in hearing about other methods like just sleeping around. What will eventually be the pattern for finding someone who can stand you and whom you can stand for the rest of your life?

I hear about the divorce rate, and I think its painful. People shouldn't have to deal with that so frequently. I think people will always be getting married, but what is going to change about it that makes it better? What does the ideal Future hold?

Here are a couple videos that claim to tell us why we marry the wrong people (when we select partners by romantic searches, dating etc.)

There are a lot of factors affecting the divorce rate. Mostly people who marry too young and are too immature. They often compound the mistake by having children thinking that will "save" the marriage.

I met my wife on a dating website and am perfectly happy. Both of us had been married before and, to avoid repeating the mistakes of the past, held off marriage for a couple of years.

 

[We Never Know]

There are a lot of factors affecting the divorce rate. Mostly people who marry too young and are too immature. They often compound the mistake by having children thinking that will "save" the marriage.

I met my wife on a dating website and am perfectly happy. Both of us had been married before and, to avoid repeating the mistakes of the past, held off marriage for a couple of years.

True then there are also people that marry because they are lonely/don't want to be alone.

 

[Road Warrior]

True then there are also people that marry because they are lonely/don't want to be alone.

The primary mistake of my first marriage.

 

[Brickjectivity]

The primary mistake of my first marriage.

Admitting it here was probably your second mistake! (kiddin) What advice would you give to your younger self if possible?

 

[Road Warrior]

Admitting it here was probably your second mistake! (kiddin) What advice would you give to your younger self if possible?

1) Don't be in a rush to be married. Live together for at least over a year with an eye toward marriage if you think she/he is "the one". Don't let others (usually family) push you into marriage.

2) Same for kids. Kids are not a marriage saver. Kids aren't tools so don't use them that way. It's also a personal choice whether or not to have children. I chose not to have them for professional reasons, but I was very happy to be an Uncle and, now, a step-grandfather.

3) People can change after marriage, but don't expect them to change the way you want. Women often think a man will change and that's a mistake. Men will think the same once they are married. Make sure all the big questions are asked: Life goals, kids, careers, where to live, etc. Don't wait until marriage to find out you each have conflicting ideas on how to live their lives.

Old saying "Everyone has two lives. They begin to live their second one when they realize they only have one life to live."