I think your absolutely correct. The birth control pill and the on going liberation of women has allowed them to shine, I'm a huge fan of the WLM. All I can say is its a huge turn for me being around sexual motivated women. Sadly due low self esteem and many other issues, many men a very intimidated by high;y sexual women, they say their not but it usually comes out in the bedroom where they are controlling.
Even as a voluntarily celibate person, I find sexually open people of both sexes often enough healthy and even liberating to be around. Provided, of course, they don't sexualize everything. But that's seldom if ever a problem with people who are casually open about their sexuality -- as opposed to obsessed with it. And those who are obsessed with it tend to be up tight about it in many ways, anyway.
On of the problems is the masses due to social programming have sexualised relationships. If we agree that men and women are different but have the same value and worth as a man, why do people place different judgements on male/male and male/female social interactions. What's the difference if I have lunch out with a male friend or a female friend. Once you create a difference you have sexualised the friendship. I have many female friends some Im sexual with others not. I was out yesterday with 42 year old lady who I met at the local Geocaching Club, nothing sexual there, she's just a hoot to be around. I hear things like "My wife would have a HUGE problem if was out with another woman. Of course she would because you live in a closed Monogamous relationship which is about ownership, control and exclusivity. Once we feel secure in our relationships we can relate across the sexes without it being sexual. If we cant engage socially across the sexes then we have sexualised the relationship, so you see its the people on the outside, who have been brainwashed by social programming and monogamy, these are the same people who are obsessed with sex. As you may have heard me say before an Open relationship is about being OPEN. Transparent, honest, truthful, able to share ones fears and hear their partners.
I'm personally in favor of open relationships -- at least for myself and any partner(s) I might someday have. But I can understand someone preferring monogamy for themselves if only because each partner you have represents a tremendous investment of time and effort. That is, if they mean much of anything at all to you. Not everyone wants to double or triple such an investment.
Having said that, I agree with you that so many monogamous relationships at least appear to be more about ownership and control than about, say, love and mutual fulfillment. Not all, I think, but so many of them. The "love" in those relationships tends to be indistinguishable from emotional co-dependency. There is comparatively little growth, and even less sense of renewal or rebirth. Which is unfortunate, I think, because one of the things love can do for us is to, in some significant sense, renew us, make us reborn.
As for friendships across the sexes, I think they enrich our lives. That's putting it mildly. A deep friendship with anyone -- male or female -- is the opening of a new world to us. Unless they are identical to us in every way.
