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Forgiveness increases affection?

Shushersbedamned

Well-Known Member
It is said that "giving" (or doing for ....) to others adds the amount of affection you - the giver - feels to the other. More than receiving.

Does that include Forgiveness, what do you think? Cuz it does make sense psychologically speaking. But I would still hesitate to use the word 'affection'.

So does forgiving person x something increase the amount of affection you feel toward them?
 

YmirGF

Bodhisattva in Recovery
It is said that "giving" (or doing for ....) to others adds the amount of affection you - the giver - feels to the other. More than receiving.

Does that include Forgiveness, what do you think? Cuz it does make sense psychologically speaking. But I would still hesitate to use the word 'affection'.

So does forgiving person x something increase the amount of affection you feel toward them?
Hmmmm. I've only rarely been in the position where I needed to forgive someone. In those situations, I had no problem forgiving one they apologized for whatever, but I never forget what they did and that allows one to normalize relations with them but it does keep them at an arm's length. It will take a very long time (of good, positive behavior) before I'm willing to forget. In all the cases I've been a part of affection has yet to rear its head. In essence, once you break my trust, I do not give that trust back easily.
 

Kenny

Face to face with my Father
Premium Member
It is said that "giving" (or doing for ....) to others adds the amount of affection you - the giver - feels to the other. More than receiving.

Does that include Forgiveness, what do you think? Cuz it does make sense psychologically speaking. But I would still hesitate to use the word 'affection'.

So does forgiving person x something increase the amount of affection you feel toward them?
I think it becomes a qualitative "yes". There are some things that are so wrong that you can forgive but it won't translate into a renewed affection.

Certainly on a normal life and life situations, forgiveness restores fellowship and thus opens the door for affection again.
 

Terese

Mangalam Pundarikakshah
Staff member
Premium Member
It is said that "giving" (or doing for ....) to others adds the amount of affection you - the giver - feels to the other. More than receiving.

Does that include Forgiveness, what do you think? Cuz it does make sense psychologically speaking. But I would still hesitate to use the word 'affection'.

So does forgiving person x something increase the amount of affection you feel toward them?
In my opinion yes. Forgiveness creates peace of mind to you and the offender, if he/she is remorseful about it. Grudges are to be avoided at all costs. They rot the mind with anger.
 

Nakosis

Non-Binary Physicalist
Premium Member
In my opinion yes. Forgiveness creates peace of mind to you and the offender, if he/she is remorseful about it. Grudges are to be avoided at all costs. They rot the mind with anger.

I agree, forgiveness is more for one's own peace of mind. Continued hostile feelings towards someone is a constant drain on your energy. I'd rather spend the energy trying to improve my own life experience rather than use it to be riled up against someone else's.

Depends on the relationship, sometimes with a previous loved one or family member, affection can return. Other times you forgive and choose to keep your distance.
 

Sunstone

De Diablo Del Fora
Premium Member
As a general rule that is sometimes broken, the more you invest in someone, the more attached you become to them. Whether that attachment is affectionate is another matter. Lots of people feel frustration or worse towards folks they've invested a lot in.
 
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