faiths and mental health

[LilyPhoenix]

Am struggling going from one faith to another over and over again
part of me knows it because of my OCD and other mental health problems
another part of me thinks its the devil and evil things for me to do
i have always thought i am evil
I was born into a Catholic family , the Catholic church and Catholic School were abusive
none of my family know and my husband knows
during the abuse i was told i was evil
as soon as i was old enough i got away from the place i lived and away from the Catholic church and School

i started to look into paganism got a pentagram tattoo on my arm ( i cant wear short selves at church now ) i regret getting it

Then fallowed other faiths many different ones over and over back and forth

The Catholic church has damaged me so much av tried to go to the Catholic church again
but i cant do it Other churches most of them wear robes but i have found a church that i like ...i also want to learn about other faiths but for some reason i seems to want to experience it as someone who believes in that faith

My biological father is a Minster he wasnt around when the abuse was going on and has no idea about it
( he became a minster after my mum and him broke up )
he got back into my life a few years ago he says i need stability and that i should be Christian , he knows i have mental health problems
he has heart problems i am too scared he will have a heart attack if i tell him he is going to send me stuff that should help me with me swapping faiths some stuff about the bible


Av always felt that Jesus was a Holy man but not the son of God but its could be my OCD and blasphemous thoughts ...


if i start to read the bible from the news testament do you think its will help me feel close to Jesus and help my OCD and other mental health problems ( i hear and see things ( demons and angels ) and sometimes i have delusions)


Am so scared that i am going to hell

 

[Paranoid Android]

Am struggling going from one faith to another over and over again
part of me knows it because of my OCD and other mental health problems
another part of me thinks its the devil and evil things for me to do
i have always thought i am evil
I was born into a Catholic family , the Catholic church and Catholic School were abusive
none of my family know and my husband knows
during the abuse i was told i was evil
as soon as i was old enough i got away from the place i lived and away from the Catholic church and School

i started to look into paganism got a pentagram tattoo on my arm ( i cant wear short selves at church now ) i regret getting it

Then fallowed other faiths many different ones over and over back and forth

The Catholic church has damaged me so much av tried to go to the Catholic church again
but i cant do it Other churches most of them wear robes but i have found a church that i like ...i also want to learn about other faiths but for some reason i seems to want to experience it as someone who believes in that faith

My biological father is a Minster he wasnt around when the abuse was going on and has no idea about it
( he became a minster after my mum and him broke up )
he got back into my life a few years ago he says i need stability and that i should be Christian , he knows i have mental health problems
he has heart problems i am too scared he will have a heart attack if i tell him he is going to send me stuff that should help me with me swapping faiths some stuff about the bible


Av always felt that Jesus was a Holy man but not the son of God but its could be my OCD and blasphemous thoughts ...


if i start to read the bible from the news testament do you think its will help me feel close to Jesus and help my OCD and other mental health problems ( i hear and see things ( demons and angels ) and sometimes i have delusions)


Am so scared that i am going to hell

Had that, done that. It's very common for people with OCD to have problems with thoughts of going to hell. You sound confused. You need to get the mental illness take care of first.

 

[LilyPhoenix]

Am not feeling like am of sound mind
i take medication but i find this time of year hard because its coming up for the anniversary of a family member that past away a few years ago
i have a lot of problems sometimes i get so confused and the only person i know i can trust is my husband he told me am ill and that i should try and rest but i keep crying when i go to lay down

 

[Paranoid Android]

Am not feeling like am of sound mind
i take medication but i find this time of year hard because its coming up for the anniversary of a family member that past away a few years ago
i have a lot of problems sometimes i get so confused and the only person i know i can trust is my husband he told me am ill and that i should try and rest but i keep crying when i go to lay down

He's right. Take it easy. Focus on important things, so you don't have to go to the hospital.

 

[Pastek]

Am struggling going from one faith to another over and over again
part of me knows it because of my OCD and other mental health problems
another part of me thinks its the devil and evil things for me to do
i have always thought i am evil
I was born into a Catholic family , the Catholic church and Catholic School were abusive
none of my family know and my husband knows
during the abuse i was told i was evil

The Catholic church has damaged me so much av tried to go to the Catholic church again
but i cant do it Other churches most of them wear robes but i have found a church that i like ...i also want to learn about other faiths but for some reason i seems to want to experience it as someone who believes in that faith

if i start to read the bible from the news testament do you think its will help me feel close to Jesus and help my OCD and other mental health problems ( i hear and see things ( demons and angels ) and sometimes i have delusions)

Am so scared that i am going to hell

Hi, i'm sorry i know it's the Christian DIR, just want to say that i feel sorry for you and i hope you'll find a solution to your problems and some peace.

Can i just ask some questions ?
Why people said you are "evil" , and why they didn't help you ?
In which way the Catholic church/school were abusive ? Maybe you can denounce them to the police because other people may face the same problems as you ?
(don't have to answer if it's to personal i just try to understand)

Have you seen a psychologue to help you with your "visons" ?

 

[LilyPhoenix]

the people who were saying i was evil was the abusers , it was sexual it was a very small school in a small town
unsure if my mother or other family members knew about it
I dont want to question my mother about it her health isnt so good
my sister has dissociation disorder not otherwise specified
my sister said to me before that she was abused by someone my mother knew my sister told my mum and she said she was lying my mother got ill and she said she made it up but has told me she wasn't lying
i have flashbacks of it sometimes i remember bits and pieces
i see a therapist soon in about a week from now
too scared to talk about it it but i can write it down it was such a long time ago ( am in my 30's , most of the people who abused me are dead am too scared to tell the police ) i once told my mother i was abused by a family members boy friend she said it was my fault so now i don't talk to her about anything like that
the school that i was in merged with another school in the area


My mental health has been bad for a long time it got worse after the family member that died
av not been right since
am on a lot of medications and am too scared to go out on my own my husband has to come with me everywhere
i also cant have money because in the past i have bought blades, pills and alcohol
av tried to kill myself as well
am not safe by myself i cant work and my husband cant work because he is my full time carer

my husband is an atheist but he is ok to come with me to church but he dont want to follow a faith


i know i should have reported it to someone but am scared ill loses my family because of this
my mother calls my sister an attention seeker and my mother said i have nothing wrong with me
that am lazy and i need to get a job

 

[jeager106]

Abused people have all sorts of emotional and mental health
issues. Get into a good counselor if you haven't already.
Hell is a controversial issue.
There ain't no such place.
Do an internet search and learn how the myth got started and blown all
out of proportion.
Even the Pope in 1999 ( I think ) said there is no burning place of torment.
"Hell" simply means the common grave of mankind.
Hell comes from a German English word "hel" and was not used until about
the 7th century.
Do some research to put your mind at ease.
YOU ARE NOT EVIL.

 

[Paranoid Android]

Abused people have all sorts of emotional and mental health
issues. Get into a good counselor if you haven't already.
Hell is a controversial issue.
There ain't no such place.
Do an internet search and learn how the myth got started and blown all
out of proportion.
Even the Pope in 1999 ( I think ) said there is no burning place of torment.
"Hell" simply means the common grave of mankind.
Hell comes from a German English word "hel" and was not used until about
the 7th century.
Do some research to put your mind at ease.
YOU ARE NOT EVIL.

Brainwashing. The evil people are the ABUSERS. Not the ABUSED.