I am choosing from this point onwards to make less excuses when I do something I consider wrong. I am doing this because I have come to realize that most excuses, if not all, are just a way to weasel out of consequences. Consequences, on the other hand, are each potential learning experiences.
Therefore, I will simply offer my apology and if needed, a means of reconciliation. I the offended party desires to know why I committed a particular wrong, that is where a humble explanation is warranted.
What is your opinion on this, readers? Do you find your faith teaches such values? Do you agree or disagree with my perspective?
I have been in many situations that I committed a wrong or offended someone without explanation. Total silence or backlash. That's life, I guess. Many of my family are Christian, as well as my grandmothers who have passed, and I assume many of my ancestors as well. As such, I value from experience and their knowledge that reconciliation is an important asset to any two or more people who have been wronged (or feel wronged) and need explanation. I also find assumptions do a lot to worsen this. My values are to work on my patience and inner strength to handle what I may have done wrong or what is perceived as wrong but have no explanation to prove otherwise.
I find this in my friend with whom I haven't spoken with in almost a month. She misinterpreted a facial expression and comment about my business and she thought I was talking directly about the place we worked. The former is alright the latter, a BIG no-no. I didn't know two other people were behind me as we don't talk about our personal matters around anyone here. She cut me off later that night saying that she doesn't talk about personal matters (as if four years we did not) with me. That hurt.
She is the type that doesn't explain her feelings well without getting upset. So, I don't know how to approach her. I feel to reconcile feelings (going back to your OP), we need explanations on both sides so we know who is wrong and why. We not only know if the
other person is wrong, we
must know for ourselves if we did a wrong so we fully accept the consequences.
Many times life doesn't work that way. At my job and in my friendships there seems to be a harbored message of some sort. Almost like "dont ask" type of thing. In other instances it's like walking on egg shells; and, whatever I say or do can cause me to go into the office, be accused of something against the rules I did not know I broke, be fussed at about the rules as if I know and am hiding something, and on the verge of getting written up
all because someone else reported I did something.
Proper explanation is needed in any place, business, between any person. That is my faith.. That is my morals. Christianity has this through Christ; so, that's how I see it when connecting with how my ancestors see it. How I see it, The Buddha talks about reconciliation a lot. It's marked by a high level of compassion and mindfulness. Everything is about the mind.
How can we know each other and what each other says to reconcile if we do not ask the other party what they think about an assumption and let them talk so they understand if they did something wrong.
That goes for anyone and any place. That is how I see it.
