Hi everyone,
Recently I was staying in the mountains at a borrowed cabin. I had never been there before, and when I'm sleeping in new places I always feel a little nervous. But this house was different. Usually I get over my nervous feelings in a day, but this time whenever I tried to go to sleep, I would almost hear whispers from things outside the window that weren't there. Or was that my own mind? I couldn't be sure. I began to think that the house was "watching me", so to speak.
Another thing, because I think it's relevant - I've been dealing with some form of "Pure O" OCD, where my mind won't stop ruminating over some terrible thought. Most of the ones in my case revolve around secretly wanting to be a killer. It's obviously ridiculous for me to fear such things because I've never hurt anyone in my life, but my disease isn't a very logical one.
When I finally fell asleep (a difficult task for me no matter where I am), I had a particularly vivid nightmare. I usually don't remember my dreams, and when I do, they are never this clear several days later. (I write them down as soon as I wake up.) As a Wiccan who takes a Jungian approach to dreams, this kind of thing has always fascinated me.
I was walking down the stairs into a cellar lined with animal trophies and skins on the floor and walls. An old video game-crazy friend from my elementary years was with me (for privacy reasons, I'll call him Carl). A man inside offered us a seat. This guy looked really weird. His body looked absolutely emaciated, his face was very long, his skin was gray, he had stitches all over. He didn't have any hair except for a few silver strands that came over his face, and he wore mostly leather and fur, with a skull on his head. As we sat down, we realized that we couldn't move at all. The strange man explained that he was a taxidermist, and that we were his next victims. He pulled out many scary-looking tools and some chemicals and grinned with anticipation. I somehow knew that he was going to torture us slowly before killing us. I asked, "Why do you have to do this?" The man looked puzzled for a moment, as if that was the dumbest question he had ever heard. "Because I AM," he said. While he turned away a moment to grab some needles, "Carl" turned to me and whispered that he had found a way out of the cellar. Then I fell backwards and everything went black.
When I came to, I was flying over an emerald green grassy field as a bird. Then I descended to the ground and I was running as a four-legged creature. Finally, I was slithering through the tall grass as a snake. I saw some pale gray specks in the distance and went to see what they were. When I got close enough, I saw that they were rabbits, but they were twitching on the ground and couldn't seem to get up. But I felt that the strange man was close behind me, so I kept running as far away as possible, until I got to the base of a cliff. There was a small door there, barely distinguishable from the rock. I opened it and went inside. There were a bunch of children my age who were hiding inside, all of whom had fled from the strange man.
From there I... don't really know what happened, but I know that I was instantly back in my real world body again and I felt like I was being pulled up from the bottom of a deep pond. I could hear the "water" rushing past my ears. When I got up, I was very sore and tired and ill and I decided to stay low instead of going outdoors. The next day, I was felt fine, but the thoughts of the dream hadn't left me. I was hiking through the woods in the snow, when suddenly my thoughts went back to the strange man in the dream and suddenly my mind became possessed of an entirely different mindset. It felt amoral, selfish, cold, and determined to survive. At that moment, I felt like an animal more than a person... all I wanted was to return to the wild, be unrestrained by civilization.
Any thoughts on this? Am I going crazy? Should I be happy or concerned? Replies would be appreciated.
Sincerely,
Duck Tape
Recently I was staying in the mountains at a borrowed cabin. I had never been there before, and when I'm sleeping in new places I always feel a little nervous. But this house was different. Usually I get over my nervous feelings in a day, but this time whenever I tried to go to sleep, I would almost hear whispers from things outside the window that weren't there. Or was that my own mind? I couldn't be sure. I began to think that the house was "watching me", so to speak.
Another thing, because I think it's relevant - I've been dealing with some form of "Pure O" OCD, where my mind won't stop ruminating over some terrible thought. Most of the ones in my case revolve around secretly wanting to be a killer. It's obviously ridiculous for me to fear such things because I've never hurt anyone in my life, but my disease isn't a very logical one.
When I finally fell asleep (a difficult task for me no matter where I am), I had a particularly vivid nightmare. I usually don't remember my dreams, and when I do, they are never this clear several days later. (I write them down as soon as I wake up.) As a Wiccan who takes a Jungian approach to dreams, this kind of thing has always fascinated me.
I was walking down the stairs into a cellar lined with animal trophies and skins on the floor and walls. An old video game-crazy friend from my elementary years was with me (for privacy reasons, I'll call him Carl). A man inside offered us a seat. This guy looked really weird. His body looked absolutely emaciated, his face was very long, his skin was gray, he had stitches all over. He didn't have any hair except for a few silver strands that came over his face, and he wore mostly leather and fur, with a skull on his head. As we sat down, we realized that we couldn't move at all. The strange man explained that he was a taxidermist, and that we were his next victims. He pulled out many scary-looking tools and some chemicals and grinned with anticipation. I somehow knew that he was going to torture us slowly before killing us. I asked, "Why do you have to do this?" The man looked puzzled for a moment, as if that was the dumbest question he had ever heard. "Because I AM," he said. While he turned away a moment to grab some needles, "Carl" turned to me and whispered that he had found a way out of the cellar. Then I fell backwards and everything went black.
When I came to, I was flying over an emerald green grassy field as a bird. Then I descended to the ground and I was running as a four-legged creature. Finally, I was slithering through the tall grass as a snake. I saw some pale gray specks in the distance and went to see what they were. When I got close enough, I saw that they were rabbits, but they were twitching on the ground and couldn't seem to get up. But I felt that the strange man was close behind me, so I kept running as far away as possible, until I got to the base of a cliff. There was a small door there, barely distinguishable from the rock. I opened it and went inside. There were a bunch of children my age who were hiding inside, all of whom had fled from the strange man.
From there I... don't really know what happened, but I know that I was instantly back in my real world body again and I felt like I was being pulled up from the bottom of a deep pond. I could hear the "water" rushing past my ears. When I got up, I was very sore and tired and ill and I decided to stay low instead of going outdoors. The next day, I was felt fine, but the thoughts of the dream hadn't left me. I was hiking through the woods in the snow, when suddenly my thoughts went back to the strange man in the dream and suddenly my mind became possessed of an entirely different mindset. It felt amoral, selfish, cold, and determined to survive. At that moment, I felt like an animal more than a person... all I wanted was to return to the wild, be unrestrained by civilization.
Any thoughts on this? Am I going crazy? Should I be happy or concerned? Replies would be appreciated.
Sincerely,
Duck Tape
