Double Standards

[Syphros]

I was recently watching a documentary on a journalist's exploration of the world of vaginal plastic surgery and was disgusted to find a Muslim woman, who feared for her life, wanted her hymen reconstructed for her wedding night.

I was also sickened to discover that some promiscuous muslim men in the UK would refuse to marry anyone who wasn't a virgin.

How do you proud muslim women put up with these double standards?

I know this may be exadurated and not apply to most muslim men but I want your opinions.

 

[fullyveiled muslimah]

There's nothing to give a reply about really. All that virgin crap is cultural. Yeah okay muslims who were born muslim shouldn't have had pre-marital sex, but if they did................? You got people over here in America making a big deal of the virgin thing when they marry women who were not muslim growing up and who had a life they were leading before they accepted Islam. This life included pre-marital sex. I see that crap sometimes myself. When I was looking to get married I ran into quite a few "brothers" who had the nerve to be disgusted that I wasn't a virgin. I had to put quite a few of them in the places especially when I knew they had girlfriends.

It's definitely a double standard and a very lame one at that. I wish these sisters would stand up for themselves. However I find it even more disgusting that the reason why some of these women cannot stand up for themselves is because they are forced to remain ignorant on just how many rights they actually have in Islam. If they had that knowledge, those standards wouldn't last long. This is the power of knowledge and the dangers of ignorance.

 

[.lava]

I was recently watching a documentary on a journalist's exploration of the world of vaginal plastic surgery and was disgusted to find a Muslim woman, who feared for her life, wanted her hymen reconstructed for her wedding night.

I was also sickened to discover that some promiscuous muslim men in the UK would refuse to marry anyone who wasn't a virgin.

How do you proud muslim women put up with these double standards?

I know this may be exadurated and not apply to most muslim men but I want your opinions.

hi sexual relationship without marriage is a sin for both man and woman. and again according to Qur'an, virgin girls can only marry with virgin boys. if one is not virgin then she or he can marry with someone who's not virgin. some men think that they have more freedom than women. well, they don't. both are equal. if a man who's not virgin wants to marry with a virgin girl, then he is acting against command of God.




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[TashaN]

I hate it when some males define Islam for Muslim women. First, i'm sure that if Muslim women really know ALL their rights in Islam, we wouldn't see cases of opression. Regarding the case you have presented. I think it's a big deal if a muslim woman had sex before marriage, not that it's an obsession of virginity or anything. Virginity is just a sign that this woman didn't disobey the law of Allah and had sex before marriage. Nevertheless, who would know if a man had sex before marriage or not?

Anyhow, i know so many people, who divorced their wives after few days of marriage because they have discovered she had sex before marriage, and i know others who confronted each other and dealt with it, and could live normally after that.

The thing is, although it's not allowed for men and women to have sex before marriage, but we know already that in so many cultures, they see virginity as an honor for the entire family, which makes them proud of her purity, but if she had sex before marriage, so that means the entire family would live in shame and be dishonored, and even many men would obstain from marrying sisters of the one who had sex before marriage, because they will doubt how this family raised their children.

Despte all that, i think people go to the extereme when women's life is threatned if she wasn't a virgin and it's more of a cultural thing, than an islamic one. Even Arab Christians share these values, by the way, about honor, and virginity.