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Disability and abuse

Discussion in 'Health & Healing' started by Ray Warren, Jan 23, 2021.

  1. Ray Warren

    Ray Warren They/Them

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    I thought I would post this since abuse is so common among disabled people. It is really hard to leave an abusive person when disabled. I am 18 and I just recently moved out to live in a group home.Not everyone is as fortune as me. I want to know what more can we do about this problem. I was lucky. I understood the people I was living with were toxic.I also am my own legal guardian. However I had no support no friends to move in with and I didnt even know a group home was an option till recently. I could not afford with my little disability to rent a place of my own. If for instance I wasn't my own legal guardian and one of my family members tried to get guardianship like they tried to and couldnt because they could not afford a lawyer I still would be living with an extremely toxic person. I would like to see this issue talked about more. About how some disabled people cant recognize abuse, how some aren't in charge of their own money and cant leave such situations, and how some disabled people cant speak about their abuse. This should be talked about more.
     
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  2. SomeRandom

    SomeRandom Still learning to be wise
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    I’m sorry to hear that @Ray Warren
    My mum actually works as a disability support worker and it inspired her to become an advocate. So I am familiar with the training surrounding such individuals (my mum asks me to double check her work because she is insecure about her English proficiency. Even though she speaks better English than me!)
    I find it very interesting. Because the training is constantly trying to balance voice for the person and voice of the guardian, presuming their competence.
    I think we should listen to voices within the disabled community and work with them to ensure they can live in peaceful surroundings and have the best help available.
     
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  3. Ray Warren

    Ray Warren They/Them

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    That is literally most non native english speakers...that have came to me for advice on English.

    Nonnative english speaker: I am sorry for my poor language skills. English is not my native tongue thus I am not proficient. Please forgive me for any mistakes I make.

    native speaker: lol okei


    Edit: I misspelled english and I am a native english speaker
     
  4. Ray Warren

    Ray Warren They/Them

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    This. Say it again for the people in the back. I am certain autism speaks and other hateful groups of people didnt hear you.
     
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  5. pcarl

    pcarl Well-Known Member

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    I think one must have a social network, an advocate, to confide in even if only an 'ombudsman' who will report abuse to a proper authority. Is the problem not recognizing abuse or giving in because of a feeling of helplessness? Most group homes, even if privately owned, are accountable to state regs which include correcting abuse.
     
  6. Ray Warren

    Ray Warren They/Them

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    Oh I am in a group home because I left an abusive situation. Not in one right now
     
  7. Ray Warren

    Ray Warren They/Them

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    @pcarl some people with dementia, autism and other disabliities cant recoginze abuse that well. Giving into helplessness might also be a problem. Could also be the system. The place youd report such a thing would be DSS( department of social services)here but they suck in my county. A parent one time sold their baby to someone else where I used to live.It was reported. The social workers sent a letter back saying that nothing they could do as long as the baby was cared for. Called them asked if they knew where the baby was. They didn't. Called the police to report the crime. Said they had no proof the baby was actually sold thus couldnt do anything. In another situation this time one of my own I was 7 and it took authorities a year before they removed me from my father. I was serverely neglected and DSS came by like one time. Thats it. It wasnt until my dad was arrested for drugs anything was done.
     
    #7 Ray Warren, Jan 23, 2021
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  8. Vinayaka

    Vinayaka devotee
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    Thanks for this topic, Ray. It hits home.
    Personally, I think we have remnants of the past, and although we're slowly evolving, it can be accelerated through education. In my childhood, I had a strong memory of visiting a relative's house where a woman was 'hidden' in the back rooms because of her disability. I was never introduced, had no idea who she was, and was ridiculously curious. I still don' know, but I suspect she was my aunt's (in-law aunt) sister. In those days there was segregation for the disabled, and it didn't take all many degrees off the 'norm' to get you 'jailed'.

    I believe we're all disabled to some extent, and that there should be more awareness, stronger advocacy, watchdogs, etc. Abuse is always unacceptable.

    I wish there was some better way to reduce the stigma attached, so that it was easier to recognise, so folks could alter their behaviours accordingly.
     
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  9. SomeRandom

    SomeRandom Still learning to be wise
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    IKR?? lol
    I think because they learn by the books where as we learn through speech. My uncle is an English teacher and even he will commend the mums on their English skills lol
     
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  10. pcarl

    pcarl Well-Known Member

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    True, also many people with little sense of self worth are vulnerable especially to psychological abuse as they do not recognize is as abuse until the damage is done.
     
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  11. Brickjectivity

    Brickjectivity Veteran Member
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    I felt enraged when certain family members had problems. I was overcome with it. I felt guilty about this, because I cared about them but I was angry with them for having problems. This happened with two people with different issues. It was rage directed at them for having problems that weren't their fault. My compassion, my empathy turned rancid. Why was this? I don't know. It was very embarrassing for me and not helpful for them. How strange it was for me who considered myself to be very empathic that my feelings betrayed me.
     
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  12. Ray Warren

    Ray Warren They/Them

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    Thank you for your honesty.
     
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