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Become a Walmart Mercenary today! The few, the noble, the proud!

Discussion in 'Games / Pics / Jokes / Stories' started by Spiderman, Sep 22, 2021.

  1. Spiderman

    Spiderman Veteran Member

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    What is the purest, surest , quickest, noblest path to perfection??

    Become a Walmart Mercenary!

    Vanquish those who attempt to swindle and thieve the merchandise. Stalk the shelves, sweep the floors, clean the toilets with love as an offering to your higher power.

    Become a Walmart Warrior, Walmart Missionary, Walmart soldier for Saint Mary Magdalen and the Perpetual indulgence! Whose with me?

    Today we have Walmart. Tomorrow the world! I knew God had special plans for me! For Walmart I live! For Walmart I die! For Walmart I labor. Walmart is my my world, my Goddess, my Mother, my hope, my future, my resurrection, my salvation!


    Walmart is my all! :D Sisters of the perpetual indulgence pray for us as we fight our battles and go on our dangerous missions for the advancement and triumph of the Empire! All for Walmart! Hail to the Queen Baby!!!!!!!

    0918a965-9e2b-4ac0-a318-6e2f57be7910.2b2ae36812e33a79b39b694b8f3b67b2.jpeg walmartcartoon.jpg rD5oqkTo3YpGCe-gTfMxGh-v5PNQMzzUOmMuAf8tlaU.jpg


    "Walmart’s widespread global presence comes with some of the biggest overall profits of any retailer today. They make close to half of a trillion dollars a year, meaning that they have a significant amount of purchasing power and influence. In addition, Walmart is also has the largest privately-employed workforce in the world with about 2.3 million employees. By extension, the firm is also the world’s biggest family-owned business. The firm’s success is so solid that their next nearest competitor as far as profits go makes around $100 billion less per year than Walmart. However, the most impressive part of the firm’s undeniably strong grip on the global market is that the company hasn’t even hit its sixtieth year of operation yet. Such a feat is not to be taken lightly – and is a testament to the marketing genius of Sam Walton.
    20 Fun Facts You Didn't Know about Walmart
     
    #1 Spiderman, Sep 22, 2021
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2021
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  2. JustGeorge

    JustGeorge Retired Ruler
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    I admit I'm not a Wal-Mart shopper, and for three reasons. The clientele(at least locally)can be quite rude, the parking lot is like a monster truck rally, and.... I would totally end up on one of those calendars.
     
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  3. Spiderman

    Spiderman Veteran Member

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    For Walmart, no act of devotion is in vain!



    554acc09-e4c0-4f6f-944f-4ecf49b60906_1.bf86b504740313687a7d1abc831c7510.jpeg 1000x-1.jpg
     
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  4. Spiderman

    Spiderman Veteran Member

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    BLASPHEMY!!! :mad:

    I understand! ;):)

    I'm actually more of Saint Vincent De Paul's thrift store mercenary myself! :p

    I even wrote a song with a chorus:

    May I love you more and more,
    Lady of the thrift store,
    Mother of the poor!

    May I serve you all of the time
    Take your dreams and make them mine
    May I always obey you
    And make your every dream cometh true!

    It's so good to love you
    It's so good to dine
    With a beautiful Lady
    In the form of bread and wine!

    eucharist_bread_and_wine.jpg GettyImages-179085986-56aa3d2f5f9b58b7d002e736.jpg 0707823a-a98d-43e5-895a-84add20446c3.90a50e36bb75bd2aebb062b816240a7e.jpeg

    May I love you more and more
    Lady of the thrift store
    Mother of the poor!
     
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  5. JustGeorge

    JustGeorge Retired Ruler
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    You still have a St. Vincent De Paul????

    I am so jealous! Ours closed a couple years ago. :( There is simply no replacing it with another thrift store. None offer as unique items with as kind staff. My 'twin' and I(that's a long story) used to go in there and buy stuff all the time when we were teens. Then I grew up, and I took my family... so many good memories.

    I remember asking them to reserve stuff until I got paid... often, they just let me have it, free of charge.
     
  6. Spiderman

    Spiderman Veteran Member

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    We have one in Saint Paul right next to my apartment. :) It's actually where I bought much of my Shinto relics for my Honden. They sell candles and incense there as well and lots of free religious stuff and prayer cards, rosaries , and medals. A lot of it for free actually!

    We also have one in Minneapolis

    Thrift Stores

    I could totally be happy working there. I'm not too proud to apply after I get out. Do you think they would hire a felon?

    contact_orig.jpg whoeareimage_orig.jpg

    As I have shared before, the Kami who introduced me to Shinto is named Denise , which means "Dionysus" who gave his blood to be drunk in the form of wine.

    So, I have Holy Communion with my Capitol Hill Queen (Dionisia) in the form of bread and Wine. Shinto Eucharist. And I sing that song "Humble Lady Poverty" (Lady of the thrift store) to her, after I ask the Kami to bless the bread and wine and transubstantiate it into my Queen! :)

    download.jpg Characteristics-of-a-humble-woman.jpg images.jpg a-beautiful-women-dressed-as-dionysus-the-greek-god-of-the-grape-harvest-C0KNRP.jpg
     
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  7. The Hammer

    The Hammer Frog Lord
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    Now all the need is an Actual Army.
     
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  8. We Never Know

    We Never Know Well-Known Member

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    Many walmart shoppers are quite interesting...

     
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  9. Suave

    Suave Well-Known Member

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    Quality, convenience, and courtesy are reasons why Target is so much better than Walmart.

    [​IMG]
     
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  10. JustGeorge

    JustGeorge Retired Ruler
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    I found a lot of religious relics there as well. :)

    Too proud? I think working at a St. Vincent's would be awesome. I do think they would hire a felon, especially as you are in the process of getting your life back on track. I think ours had a few people working there that were trying to do that.
     
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  11. JustGeorge

    JustGeorge Retired Ruler
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    I shop Target, too, but its not because I love it.

    Its because they don't have a calendar.
     
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  12. Spiderman

    Spiderman Veteran Member

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    HERESY!!!

    Blasphemy
    !!!

    :mad:

    Let's start an inquisition on these infidels who dare exalt Target over Holy Mother Walmart!:cool:

    With the Powers of binding and loosing, I as Popeadope, excathedra, from the Chair of Saint Peter Parker, condemn thy soul to eternal flame , unless thou dost repent of thy iniquity and submit to Holy Mother Walmart, our light, our future, our Hope!!!

    :p:D

    I'm not being serious
     
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  13. Subduction Zone

    Subduction Zone Veteran Member

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    Just make sure that you always use your employee discount as a power for good, not evil.
     
  14. JustGeorge

    JustGeorge Retired Ruler
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    If you really want to punish a Target shopper...

    Just make them use the restroom there.

    The horrors one finds there pales in comparison to any kind of hellfire....
     
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  15. Spiderman

    Spiderman Veteran Member

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    Reminds me of the days where I would drink cough syrup in the Target restrooms. A whole bottle of Delsym and a nightmare excuse of a restroom! :eek::D

    At times!
     
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  16. Spiderman

    Spiderman Veteran Member

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    I do hear Walmart funds abortion and gay marriage movements. I don't really care or look into it , but whatever. It's what I hear anyway.
     
  17. Spiderman

    Spiderman Veteran Member

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    Meaning I have met people who will not shop at Walmart, and that is their excuse.

    Plus they don't want to buy anything made in China.
     
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  18. Suave

    Suave Well-Known Member

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    Oh no! I used to be a Sears shopper until that had been vanquished. I now follow the Target ads, please don't take that away.
     
  19. Shadow Wolf

    Shadow Wolf Rival's Wife

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    I'm not either. It's not the "evil Walmart" stuff, because they all have some nasty stuff here and there, but rather there are strange people there, rude people there, obnoxious people there, loud people there, and lots of poorly parked trucks.
     
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  20. JustGeorge

    JustGeorge Retired Ruler
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    It often seems to be the place adults go to misbehave.

    It isn't the parked trucks that worry me, though I get what you mean. Its the moving ones...
     
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