Anger has been disarmed

[Spiderman]

So, one of my least favorite people here who I've had to push out of my room, peel his hands off my door knob, and who is the reason I lock my door while in my room is giving me a gift card, handshake, and kind words to make up for what he stole from me.

I know a lousy gift card ain't much, but I'm proud of him and all my anger ceased.

I didn't think he would ever try to make up for it. So, since my anger at him ceased, I think that means we are friends to some extent.

I feel sorry for the guy. I don't think I will trust him much, but don't think I can still fight with him or push him out of the room now that I'm touched to see him trying to make amends.

I don't want to keep letting him in my room, but bottom line is he disarmed my anger. He really wants our friendship restored for whatever motive.

Now I feel like I have to be kind to him. Any suggestions? I think he's probably mentally ill, and I have much compassion for such people.

What would you do if someone repeatedly had no respect for your boundaries and stole from you, but you see him sincerely trying to make amends, and you know that much of his mental condition is not his fault?

I look forward to hearing from someone more mature, prudent, and wise than myself.

 

[Spiderman]

I didn't think this guy had an ounce of human decency in him, and he's a pathological liar. The person I met today was totally different though.

 

[Spirit of Light]

I think i would have a chat with him where sitting down with him explaining why he got kicked out time and time again, and ask if there was something i could do for him or if he needed some help

 

[sun rise]

This is a tough situation since I don't know him and can't judge his sincerity.

But in general there's two basic kinds of situations. If he's really trying to change and is acting on this, I'd be liable to cut him some slack.

But if the pattern of theft etc continues, then it resembles a classic abusive situation of acting badly, saying sorry and gong back to acting badly. Then I'd refuse to be part of the pattern.

Time will tell.

 

[Spiderman]

I'm clearly being a bit naive, but I do really care about people and want what's best for them. I see some potential in him. And really don't like to have to be a jerk towards someone sincerely trying to make amends.

 

[Nakosis]

I didn't think this guy had an ounce of human decency in him, and he's a pathological liar. The person I met today was totally different though.

Just my opinion, but I think you might have to accept they are not likely to change. You can still be friendly, cordial but it's reasonable to protect yourself from any further harm.

Maybe you can meet, help them in a neutral place like a coffee shop, but let them know that access to your personal belongings is off limits. It's really difficult to do this without getting emotional/angry. Whatever their objections, you should remain firm and tranquil.

If they really want to be a better person they should understand your reasons.