Khale
Active Member
...from the Pledge of Allegiance in San Francisco schools. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales promised to fight controvertial decision to his "last Godloving breath."
God.
"Imagine a world where nobody cared about God," Gonzales passionately argued to reporters, "He would say, 'I don't need them. I'm God.' But He would slowly die inside. Everybody would screen their calls, and every answering machine would be filled with His desperate attempts to catch a movie or something. I don't want to live in that world."
The case began last year, when Atheist Michael Newdow's daughter came home late from school, crying and covered in the blood of several neighborhood heathens and the ashes of their homes. Newdow believed her deranged slaughter was incited by the "G-bomb" she was forced to drop every morning while saying the Pledge.
The history and legal chaos of the phrase "under God" goes back further than most people know. It was first added to the Pledge in 1954, after Reverend Homer Ferguson's daughter came home late from school, crying and covered in the blood of virgins she had sacrificed to Batman (the god of Atheism at the time). Ferguson believed her blasphemy was incited by the phrase "over God" in the Pledge of Allegiance, and sued to have it changed.
Legal scholars usually place the beginning of the debate in the Garden of Eden. When Adam and Eve ate of the Fruit of Knowledge, they instantly knew the infallible truth of Atheism. They argued for weeks with each other about whether they should remove "under God" from the Pledge of Allegiance to God. Looking down from Heaven, God became extremely annoyed by this and said, "Pledge allegiance to this, f***ers," consigning every human being to a lifetime of horror.
Instead of the pledge, each morning school children in San Francisco will now recite the lyrics to Rapper's Delight by The Sugar Hill Gang.
Courtesy of spermus at www.pointlesswasteoftime.com
Note: This site is intended for mature audiences...
God.
"Imagine a world where nobody cared about God," Gonzales passionately argued to reporters, "He would say, 'I don't need them. I'm God.' But He would slowly die inside. Everybody would screen their calls, and every answering machine would be filled with His desperate attempts to catch a movie or something. I don't want to live in that world."
The case began last year, when Atheist Michael Newdow's daughter came home late from school, crying and covered in the blood of several neighborhood heathens and the ashes of their homes. Newdow believed her deranged slaughter was incited by the "G-bomb" she was forced to drop every morning while saying the Pledge.
The history and legal chaos of the phrase "under God" goes back further than most people know. It was first added to the Pledge in 1954, after Reverend Homer Ferguson's daughter came home late from school, crying and covered in the blood of virgins she had sacrificed to Batman (the god of Atheism at the time). Ferguson believed her blasphemy was incited by the phrase "over God" in the Pledge of Allegiance, and sued to have it changed.
Legal scholars usually place the beginning of the debate in the Garden of Eden. When Adam and Eve ate of the Fruit of Knowledge, they instantly knew the infallible truth of Atheism. They argued for weeks with each other about whether they should remove "under God" from the Pledge of Allegiance to God. Looking down from Heaven, God became extremely annoyed by this and said, "Pledge allegiance to this, f***ers," consigning every human being to a lifetime of horror.
Instead of the pledge, each morning school children in San Francisco will now recite the lyrics to Rapper's Delight by The Sugar Hill Gang.
Courtesy of spermus at www.pointlesswasteoftime.com
Note: This site is intended for mature audiences...