I'm thinking of leaving RF.

I'm coming more and more to the conclusion that this site isn't very good for my mental health. It's very toxic. I am going through many very difficult things in my life and I do not know if it'll end up well or not, and I do not need the drama and pettiness. There are some cool people on here, but they're a minority in my experience. Regardless, they are just online and those types come and go. It won't matter much if I stay or leave. More often than not, I feel stressed out after logging out of this site and posts are distressing to read and try to deal with.

So I don't know if I will leave or if I will just take a break. We'll see.

Saint Frankenstein said:

I'm coming more and more to the conclusion that this site isn't very good for my mental health. It's very toxic. I am going through many very difficult things in my life and I do not know if it'll end up well or not, and I do not need the drama and pettiness. There are some cool people on here, but they're a minority in my experience. Regardless, they are just online and those types come and go. It won't matter much if I stay or leave. More often than not, I feel stressed out after logging out of this site and posts are distressing to read and try to deal with.

So I don't know if I will leave or if I will just take a break. We'll see.

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Unsolicited advice...
Get away for a while, and don't make any decision on whether you'll come back.

Having a break will probably give you better perspective on whether you want to come back, and we're always here.
Ultimately, if this site helps your life, come back. If it doesn't, stay away.

Selfishly, I like talking to you, but I get what you mean, and what frustrates you.

Saint Frankenstein said:

I'm coming more and more to the conclusion that this site isn't very good for my mental health. It's very toxic. I am going through many very difficult things in my life and I do not know if it'll end up well or not, and I do not need the drama and pettiness. There are some cool people on here, but they're a minority in my experience. Regardless, they are just online and those types come and go. It won't matter much if I stay or leave. More often than not, I feel stressed out after logging out of this site and posts are distressing to read and try to deal with.

So I don't know if I will leave or if I will just take a break. We'll see.

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Peace be on you.
Plz take few days off and come back for some time a day.
Good wishes.

I've been feeling much the same way. The disrespect I've got from some members has been very toxic to me and is impacting very negatively on my mental health. Of course, they just don't get it.

My wanting to be treated with dignity and basic respect is too demanding for some people, it seems. As is considering I am a real person with real feelings.

Toxic people always think it's the other person with the problem. No introspection. No consideration for the other person's feelings or perspective, which they just accuse of being "whining".

I've seen a very nasty pecking order in chat here with a clique of some people seeking to shut anyone up with opposing views, resorting to passive-aggressive b/s, while simultaneously seeing themselves as enlightened liberal freethinkers. Their perception seems to be that anyone asking them to show basic respect is acting like a tyrant seeking to control them. They act as the arbiter of how other people should behave and what topics and points of view are off limits, being happy to employ ridicule and shaming to silence dissent and having no concern for how uncomfortable other people are made to feel, while simultaneously having zero tolerance towards any critique of their own behaviour and points of view.

It's like highschool all over again, the "cool kids" virtually get away with murder, they know they can get away with being rude, disrespectful and inconsiderate as well as getting anyone with opposing views to shut up, and have a full-blown sense of entitlement to get away with such.

Of course, they'd be more than happy to dismiss my perspective and feelings here as complete nonsense and accuse me of being the one with the problem, as is their M.O.

No one here is perfect, we have all said stupid things, the idea is to not cling to those things, and realize that we are nothing but a computer game, well it helps me.

Saint Frankenstein said:

I'm coming more and more to the conclusion that this site isn't very good for my mental health. It's very toxic. I am going through many very difficult things in my life and I do not know if it'll end up well or not, and I do not need the drama and pettiness. There are some cool people on here, but they're a minority in my experience. Regardless, they are just online and those types come and go. It won't matter much if I stay or leave. More often than not, I feel stressed out after logging out of this site and posts are distressing to read and try to deal with.

So I don't know if I will leave or if I will just take a break. We'll see.

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I'm with Lewisnotmiller on this: will hate to see you gone, but there's no need to make it permanent at this point--take a break and then see how things are going later. Best of luck, and do take care!

adios

I will miss you, St. Frank, but you have to do what's good for you. So, if you decide to leave, goodbye and God bless.

Indeed, you shouldn't be allowing yourself to get dragged into distress for the sake of an internet forum. Do whatever you feel you need to, in either case I wish you all the best. God bless.

Now I just got to stop getting involved in futile fights myself.

I've also enjoyed talking with you. Take as much time off from the forum as you feel is right and come back when you feel like it. Regardless of what you do I wish you luck in life.

I will sure miss you, St. Frank. Come back after a while when you feel better. The key is as Pscychoslice said, not to cling to what some misbehaved members may say. There are many who respect you (you have 128 followers. Did you ever notice that?).

Frank, you know I love you, don't you?

I don't want you to leave, and to support my selfish thought, I say that no community has no crazy people or crazy talk. But I guess reducing the number of communities could help.

If you really wanna leave, then no pressure, and I hope you find peace of mind

Frank, it's up to you and I realise you probably want a safe place at the moment. As you know leaving RF has crossed my mind from time to time; life calls and I realise I'm kind of hiding online rather than doing things for myself, but it will be very difficult to find such a diverse group of people who get along. I left a forum and was greatful for it as it was toxic, but RF is unusal in that the a-holes are the minority. take a break and see how things go; you may miss us and we will miss you.

If you do decide to go, best wishes and I hope you find some happiness and peace my freind.

Saint Frankenstein said:

I'm coming more and more to the conclusion that this site isn't very good for my mental health. It's very toxic. I am going through many very difficult things in my life and I do not know if it'll end up well or not, and I do not need the drama and pettiness. There are some cool people on here, but they're a minority in my experience. Regardless, they are just online and those types come and go. It won't matter much if I stay or leave. More often than not, I feel stressed out after logging out of this site and posts are distressing to read and try to deal with.

So I don't know if I will leave or if I will just take a break. We'll see.

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Hi there,
we dont know us but i thought i should write something to you because i think, some posts i read from you were giving me advice, unintentionally. I am also going through difficult times now - family related - so ummm ... thanks. ... It just reality but unlike our minds it can't be changed. Hold onto who cares about you under any circumstances.

Bye.

Saint Frankenstein said:

I'm coming more and more to the conclusion that this site isn't very good for my mental health. It's very toxic. I am going through many very difficult things in my life and I do not know if it'll end up well or not, and I do not need the drama and pettiness. There are some cool people on here, but they're a minority in my experience. Regardless, they are just online and those types come and go. It won't matter much if I stay or leave. More often than not, I feel stressed out after logging out of this site and posts are distressing to read and try to deal with.
So I don't know if I will leave or if I will just take a break. We'll see.

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You'll take a break, & then return....how could you not?
Who ya gonna talk religion with in Columbus OH?
You just need a break from some conversations.
Then when you're rested & rejuvenated, you might consider some options....
- Avoid vexing discussions with certain posters.
- Treat some potentially rancorous as impersonal, ie, decide to be more emotionally detached.
- Have some bacon & hot cocoa.

I actually had to do this exact same thing on a different forum just yesterday. Try taking a break for about a week or so and see where it takes you.

Maybe you need a break. As others have said, it is best to not engage with particular people if you are going to get frustrated by what they say. I can enjoy being here because I do that... I call it putting them on "soft ignore". They're not on ignore, but I tend to skim and ignore what they say. Put your energy into people who care about you. Many of those are here, and why should we miss out on you being here, just because you get upset by others.

Saint Frankenstein said:

I'm coming more and more to the conclusion that this site isn't very good for my mental health. It's very toxic.

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It is what one makes it ...

As someone who comes and goes on this forum (sometimes taking many months off), even though I don't know you I feel comfortable saying that there's no reason to torch the drawbridge. Just take a break. NO internet forum is worth getting stressed out over.

Get this - my internet was down for a whole day earlier this week and not only did I not die - I actually finished reading a book that had been taking me an inordinate amount of time to read, and started on another one. I also hung out with my dogs in the backyard, and had two glasses of wine while I watched a pair of doves, a pair of blue jays and a pair of cardinals cavorting in the dappled sunlight. It was great. I might have missed all that bucolic happiness if I'd been wasting time arguing with some stranger online.

Good luck and please don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. Now I'm being selfish because I said that for me, not you. I've been reading your posts around the forum and was just thinking yesterday that you seem like an interesting person who actually has a brain and is capable of independent thought processes.