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Dealing with pornography

Dear community,

I am ashamed to admit, though less than I ought be, that I have once again fallen into the snare of pornography. Though I am a Christian, advice from all is accepted. In one sense I enjoy the sin, if not but for the pleasure and I fear my conscience may become dull to the weight of my transgression. But as only God knows when I fall he knows how deeply I have resisted only to be overcome once again.

Andrew
 

Pegg

Jehovah our God is One
its very commendable that, even though you view it, you know that it is wrong. Thats one of the biggest hurdles for many. At least you know what you are fighting.

We've had some very good advice to help people who want to break free from porn in recent articles...if you would like some, i could pm some to you.
 

Pegg

Jehovah our God is One
Feel free to post in the thread. Maybe it will help someone else.

ok :)

The best piece of advice comes from the bible and one thing it tells us is to 'change our thinking' because a lot of our sin is the result of our own attitudes and way of thinking about things. Learn to see things from Gods viewpoint. And while pornography may have something that that makes you feel good (for a short time) it also has a lot of bad associated with it. If we focus on what is really bad about it, that will be a motivating force for staying away from it. Its easy to stay away from things you dont like....but if you like them, it will be hard to break away. So learning to hate pornography is the key to breaking free from it.


There are 3 scriptures we can use to get an idea of why its worth fighting the urge to view pornography.
This is from an article in 2007 Awake:

Awake 2007 said:
Knowing that so many people are looking at pornography, you might wonder, ‘Is it really all that bad?’ The answer is yes, for several reasons. Consider just three of them:

▪ Pornography demeans both those who produce it and those who look at it.—1*Thessalonians 4:3-5. For this is what God wills, the sanctifying of YOU, that YOU abstain from fornication; 4*that each one of YOU should know how to get possession of his own vessel in sanctification and honor, 5*not in covetous sexual appetite such as also those nations have which do not know God;


▪ An interest in pornography mimics the inordinate sexual fixation of the wicked spirits in Noah’s day.—Genesis 6:2; Jude*6,*7.6*And the angels that did not keep their original position but forsook their own proper dwelling place he has reserved with eternal bonds under dense darkness for the judgment of the great day. 7*So too Sod′om and Go·mor′rah and the cities about them, after they in the same manner as the foregoing ones had committed fornication excessively and gone out after flesh for unnatural use, are placed before [us] as a [warning] example by undergoing the judicial punishment of everlasting fire


▪ Looking at pornography is often a stepping-stone to committing sexual sins.—James 1:14,*15.

But each one is tried by being drawn out and enticed by his own desire. 15*Then the desire, when it has become fertile, gives birth to sin; in turn, sin, when it has been accomplished, brings forth death

Breaking Free
Some who are unwittingly exposed to pornography become curious and, in time, develop a habit of viewing it. Breaking such a habit isn’t easy. Jeff, quoted earlier, says: “Before studying the Bible, I had experimented heavily with nearly every major drug. But of all my addictions, pornography was by far the most difficult to break.”

If you have fallen into a habit of viewing pornography, do not despair. You can get help. How?
▪ Understand pornography for what it is. It’s nothing less than a satanic attempt to degrade something that Jehovah created to be honorable. Understanding pornography in this light will help you to “hate what is bad.”—Psalm 97:10.
▪ Think of the consequences. Pornography destroys marriages. It devalues women and men. It debases the person who views it. For good reason the Bible says: “Shrewd is the one that has seen the calamity and proceeds to conceal himself.” (Proverbs 22:3)
 
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Pegg

Jehovah our God is One
I also thought this 2002 Awake article had a lot of very good points to consider:

Awake 2002 printed by the Watchtower said:
Pornography—Is It Just a Harmless Diversion?

WHEN Victorian archaeologists began systematically excavating the ancient ruins of Pompeii, they were shocked at what they uncovered. Scattered freely among the beautiful frescoes and artwork were many sexually explicit paintings and sculptures. Appalled by their lurid nature, the authorities stashed them in secret museums. They coined the term “pornography”—from the Greek pornē and graphos, meaning “writing about prostitutes”—to classify these explicit artifacts. Today pornography is defined as “the representation of erotic behaviour in books, pictures, statues, motion pictures, etc., that is intended to cause sexual excitement.”

These days, pornography is all-pervasive and appears to be accepted in most of modern society. Where once it was the province of disreputable cinemas and red-light districts, it is now eminently mainstream in many communities. In the United States alone, pornography generates more than ten billion dollars annually!
Some defenders promote pornography as a way to spice up a dull marriage. Says one writer: “It stimulates an active fantasy life. It offers instruction for sexual pleasure.” Others claim that it encourages frankness and openness about sexual matters. “Pornography benefits women,” claims writer Wendy McElroy.

But not everyone agrees. Pornography has often been linked to a wide range of harmful outcomes and attitudes. Some suggest a connection between pornography and rape as well as other forms of violence against women and children. Infamous serial killer Ted Bundy admits that he had a “strong appetite for violent pornography.” He says: “This condition is not immediately seen by the individual or identified as a serious problem. .*.*. But this interest .*.*. becomes geared towards matters of a sexual nature that involve violence. I cannot emphasize enough the gradual development of this. It is not short-term.”

In light of the endless debate and the prevalence of pornographic material today, you might wonder, ‘Does the Bible offer any guidance in this matter?’

The Bible Is Frank About Sex
In the Bible, sexual matters are dealt with candidly and without shame. (Deuteronomy 24:5; 1*Corinthians 7:3,*4) “Rejoice with the wife of your youth,” counseled Solomon. “Let her own breasts intoxicate you at all times.” (Proverbs 5:18,*19) Clear advice and counsel are given regarding sexual relations, including the limits within which they should be enjoyed. Sex outside of the marriage arrangement is forbidden. So are all forms of deviant and perverted sexual practices.—Leviticus 18:22,*23; 1*Corinthians 6:9; Galatians 5:19.

Even within these boundaries, restraint and respect are expected. “Let marriage be honorable among all,” wrote the apostle Paul, “and the marriage bed be without defilement.” (Hebrews 13:4) This counsel is in stark contrast with the intent and message of pornography.

Pornography Distorts Sex
Rather than portraying sexual relations as a beautiful and intimate expression of love between a man and a woman in honorable marriage, pornography demeans and distorts the sexual act. Casual and perverted sex are portrayed as exciting and desirable. Personal gratification with little or no regard for the other person is highlighted.

Women, men, and children are portrayed as objects that exist only for sexual gratification. “Beauty is measured by proportion of body parts, shaping unrealistic expectations,” says one report. “Depicting women as anonymous, ever-wanting/waiting, empty sex toys for men, stripping and exposing their bodies for monetary gain and entertainment cannot possibly translate into a message that can exist in harmony with equality, dignity and humanity,” concludes another report.

On the contrary, love “does not behave indecently,” wrote Paul. “[It] does not look for its own interests.” (1*Corinthians 13:5) The Bible exhorts men to ‘love their wives as their own bodies’ and to ‘assign them honor,’ not to view women as merely objects for sexual gratification. (Ephesians 5:28; 1*Peter 3:7) Is someone, whether male or female, who regularly feeds on sexually explicit images of other people truly behaving decently? And is that person really showing honor and respect? Instead of love, pornography cultivates self-centered, selfish desire.

There is also another factor. Soon, like any other improper stimulation, what initially arouses becomes mundane and routine. “Over time,” says one writer, “[the users of pornography] require more explicit and deviant material .*.*. They may push their partners into increasingly bizarre sexual activities*.*.*.*, diminishing their [own] capacity to express real affection.” Does that sound like a harmless diversion? But there is another important reason to avoid pornography.

The Bible and Lust
While many today feel that there is nothing wrong or dangerous about feeding sexual fantasies, the Bible disagrees. It clearly explains that there is an intrinsic relationship between what we feed on mentally and how we act. “Each one is tried by being drawn out and enticed by his own desire,” points out the Christian disciple James. “Then the desire, when it has become fertile, gives birth to sin.” (James 1:14,*15)
Jesus said: “Everyone that keeps on looking at a woman so as to have a passion for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”—Matthew 5:28.

As James and Jesus both indicate, humans act on the impulse of internal desires. Those desires, when fed and nourished, can in time become powerful obsessions. Obsessions are very hard to resist and can eventually push a person into action. Thus, what we introduce into our minds can have a powerful effect on what we eventually do.

Sexual fantasies can directly interfere with our worship of God. That is why Paul wrote: “Deaden, therefore, your body members .*.*. as respects fornication, uncleanness, sexual appetite, hurtful desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.”—Colossians 3:5.
Paul here links sexual appetite with covetousness, which is an inordinate desire for something that one does not have. Covetousness is a form of idolatry. Why? Because the one coveting puts that desired thing before all else, including God. Pornography stimulates lust for something that one does not possess. “You want somebody else’s sexual life. .*.*. You can have nothing in your mind but that appetite for what you lack. .*.*. What we lust for, we worship,” says one religion writer.

Pornography Corrupts
“Whatever things are chaste, whatever things are lovable, whatever things are well spoken of, whatever virtue there is*.*.*.*, continue considering these things,” exhorts the Bible. (Philippians 4:8) A person who feeds his eyes and mind on pornography is rejecting Paul’s exhortation. Pornography is immodest because it shamelessly exposes the most intimate and private acts to public view. It is hateful because it demeans and dehumanizes people. It is unloving because it does not promote either tenderness or caring. It merely promotes selfish lust.

By gratuitously portraying immoral and lewd acts, pornography undercuts or sabotages a Christian’s efforts to develop a ‘hatred for what is bad.’ (Amos 5:15) It highlights the committing of sin and is in stark violation of Paul’s encouragement to the Ephesians to “let fornication and uncleanness of every sort or greediness not even be mentioned among you, just as it befits holy people; neither shameful conduct .*.*. nor obscene jesting, things which are not becoming.”—Ephesians 5:3,*4.

There is nothing harmless about pornography. It is exploitive and corrupting. It can destroy relationships, perverting the natural expression of sexual intimacy into a voyeuristic activity. It poisons the mind and spirituality of the voyeur. It promotes selfish, greedy attitudes and teaches people to view others as objects fit only to satisfy their lust. It undermines efforts to do good and have a clean conscience. Most important, it can hamper or even destroy one’s spiritual relationship with God. (Ephesians 4:17-19) Truly, pornography is a scourge to be avoided.—Proverbs 4:14,*15.

If we really consider the bibles advice on the matter, there is no way we could justify the perverse nature of pornography as something which is 'ok' or healthy.
We all have a sexual desire and there is nothing wrong that with. But how we choose to fill that desire is what God is watching. We can fill that desire in the right way or the wrong way... each path leads to its own outcome. And if you take anything away with you from this post, remember this point because I think its a key point :

humans act on the impulse of internal desires. Those desires, when fed and nourished, can in time become powerful obsessions. Obsessions are very hard to resist and can eventually push a person into action. Thus, what we introduce into our minds can have a powerful effect on what we eventually do.

If you have the desire for something, and you're given the opportunity, you will take it. So kill the wrong desire, and when the opportunity arises, you will be able to walk away.
 
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Levite

Higher and Higher
To my mind, the benefit of porn if you're married is to sublimate your fantasies of having sex with others, and play them out harmlessly into masturbation instead of harmfully into adultery. It helps promote fidelity, I think.

Likewise, if you're single, the same phenomenon cuts down on random hookups and meaningless sex.

But of course, I don't consider masturbation itself a sin.
 

Athan

Member
Dear community,

I am ashamed to admit, though less than I ought be, that I have once again fallen into the snare of pornography. Though I am a Christian, advice from all is accepted. In one sense I enjoy the sin, if not but for the pleasure and I fear my conscience may become dull to the weight of my transgression. But as only God knows when I fall he knows how deeply I have resisted only to be overcome once again.

Andrew
I suspect you'll reach a point when you've discovered that there's nothing more you can do to stay away. This is critical. Will you call out to the Lord (and he will know whether you are sincere or not) or do you indulge yourself "just one more time, and that's it!!!".
 
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Dove

Member
Dear community,

I am ashamed to admit, though less than I ought be, that I have once again fallen into the snare of pornography. Though I am a Christian, advice from all is accepted. In one sense I enjoy the sin, if not but for the pleasure and I fear my conscience may become dull to the weight of my transgression. But as only God knows when I fall he knows how deeply I have resisted only to be overcome once again.

Andrew

Andrew,

I think you are very brave for admitting that you have a problem with pornography. That is definitely the first step in taking control over your life again.

There are many people who are caught up with pornography because, like drugs, it can impact our brain's release of hormones. Over time, the materials that are viewed may need to be increasingly hardcore to achieve the same effect (much like a drug addict might go from smoking marijuana to using other drugs like heroin). Like any other addict; it is possible to fall off the wagon. However; getting back on again is essential. Of course God knows when we sin and he knows how hard we may try to resist temptation. However; temptation is always out there. It seems like our culture is such that sex sells so it is everywhere.

I have some suggestions that might be helpful: the next time you feel like you might want to look at pornography do something else. It could be a hobby, cleaning, or running errands; anything to get your mind back on track. I would also reflect on the pornography that you are looking at/viewing. Whomever you are watching/looking at is a person; not an object. This woman is someone's daughter and best friend. She could be someone's sister or other loved one. Maybe she is underage and ran away from home with no other options. Maybe she is mentally ill or a drug addict. Just ask yourself who that woman is and why she is doing what she is doing. Ask yourself if you would feel comfortable with others exploiting your female loved ones by viewing them in a comparable circumstance.

Pornography ruins relationships; the secrecy, deceit, and emotional and physical issues it can cause. You should spend time fostering healthy relationships with young women your age because that is real. Pornography is not real, but it is harmful.

I have a few links that I will send to you in a pm (if allowed) because I can't post links here.

Very good luck to you. :)
 

Skwim

Veteran Member
I have no idea what this "I fear my conscience may become dull to the weight of my transgression" is all about other than you have been told that viewing porn is a big no-no, and having bought into the notion you now feel guilty for having done so. From where I stand, all the bather about the evil of enjoying pornography, particularly the JW blather presented here, is just that, and no more. If I were you I'd take a sober and reasoned look at what pornography actually is and how it affects you personally---aside from the guilt you seem to be laboring with. In the cold of day, viewing pornography comes down to satisfying one's needs. And, if in doing so it adversely affects some other aspect of your life then I suggest you ask if it's worth it or not.
As I see it, not all religious dictates are grounded in reason; many being retained only through convoluted justification not worthy of the people they serve

This said, if you're committed to abiding to the dictates of your faith, which I assume considers viewing porno a sin, then you have my sympathies for your struggle.
 
I have no idea what this "I fear my conscience may become dull to the weight of my transgression" is all about other than you have been told that viewing porn is a big no-no, and having bought into the notion you now feel guilty for having done so. From where I stand, all the bather about the evil of enjoying pornography, particularly the JW blather presented here, is just that, and no more. If I were you I'd take a sober and reasoned look at what pornography actually is and how it affects you personally---aside from the guilt you seem to be laboring with. In the cold of day, viewing pornography comes down to satisfying one's needs. And, if in doing so it adversely affects some other aspect of your life then I suggest you ask if it's worth it or not.
As I see it, not all religious dictates are grounded in reason; many being retained only through convoluted justification not worthy of the people they serve

This said, if you're committed to abiding to the dictates of your faith, which I assume considers viewing porno a sin, then you have my sympathies for your struggle.

Knowing this to be an attempt to sway your opinion, let us reason, as one who is very clearly intelligent: would you not consider all such menialites worthliess in light of greater wisdom? For a moment, let us not consider it sin which is so defined Biblicaly; but that which takes from our fellow man.
 

Brickjectivity

wind and rain touch not this brain
Staff member
Premium Member
Andrew said:
I am ashamed to admit, though less than I ought be, that I have once again fallen into the snare of pornography. Though I am a Christian, advice from all is accepted. In one sense I enjoy the sin, if not but for the pleasure and I fear my conscience may become dull to the weight of my transgression. But as only God knows when I fall he knows how deeply I have resisted only to be overcome once again.

Do not be overrighteous, neither be overwise— why destroy yourself? Do not be overwicked, and do not be a fool— why die before your time? It is good to grasp the one and not let go of the other. Whoever fears God will avoid all extremes.
(NIV Ecc 7:16-19)
 

Skwim

Veteran Member
Knowing this to be an attempt to sway your opinion, let us reason, as one who is very clearly intelligent: would you not consider all such menialites worthliess in light of greater wisdom?
Evidently you consider pleasing oneself, no matter the means or the manner, to be a menial pursuit, and that this would include pleasures derived from any of the arts and sports. I don't, and this even includes those pleasures of an erotic nature---I see no reason to exclude them. Eroticism is just as valid and natural a pleasure as any of the others. If not, why not?
As for any being "worthless in light of greater wisdom," I haven't the slightest idea what this means.

For a moment, let us not consider it sin which is so defined Biblicaly; but that which takes from our fellow man.
Okay. So what is taken---I assume unfairly or unjustly---from our fellow man?
 
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Heim

Active Member
Personally I think you should be worried when you have a 'porn addiction'. When the desire and habit of watching porn becomes so strong that it forms a hindrance in your everyday life.

As for completely avoiding porn; I can't help you. You are a human with human desires and emotions.
 

Do not be overrighteous, neither be overwise— why destroy yourself? Do not be overwicked, and do not be a fool— why die before your time? It is good to grasp the one and not let go of the other. Whoever fears God will avoid all extremes.
(NIV Ecc 7:16-19)

Thank you so much Becky! What an encouragement that verse is!
 
Evidently you consider pleasing oneself, no matter the means or the manner, to be a menial pursuit, and that this would include pleasures derived from any of the arts and sports. I don't, and this even includes those pleasures of an erotic nature---I see no reason to exclude them. Eroticism is just as valid and natural a pleasure as any of the others. If not, why not?
As for any being "worthless in light of greater wisdom," I haven't the slightest idea what this means.

Okay. So what is taken---I assume unfairly or unjustly---from our fellow man?


I do not believe pleasure to be wrong in the least, though my emphasis and what I am encouraged to consider myself is this : is my pleasure derived from the humiliation of another human being. You will no doubt realize the terrible effect the sex industry has on those involved in it, however if you do not wish to concede this point I appeal to a greater wisdom which is to say, and let's not limit this to simply fulfilling a natural human desire with pornography, but that in such a case where my evil desire can be denied and rep replaced -to serve rather than to recieve service. I suppose my appeal will find its summation in a rather crude question : how often do you see pornstar doing anything more than pretending to be doctors? Hope this helps to clarify.
 

InChrist

Free4ever
I recommend this DVD:

SOMEBODY'S DAUGHTER

shessomebodysdaughter.org


Would you consider sitting in someone's bedroom and watching them have sex with someone else or more than one person? That's all pornography is. Whether it's on the internet, T.V, or a DVD it still and always involves real people.

I think as a Christian when dealing with battles of the flesh it is important to remember that a true believer in Jesus Christ is a new creation, risen and alive in Christ and dead to sin. Reading the scriptures and knowing this truth and reality transforms your mind and gives victory. (Romans 6)
 
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arthra

Baha'i
Dear community,

I am ashamed to admit, though less than I ought be, that I have once again fallen into the snare of pornography. Though I am a Christian, advice from all is accepted. In one sense I enjoy the sin, if not but for the pleasure and I fear my conscience may become dull to the weight of my transgression. But as only God knows when I fall he knows how deeply I have resisted only to be overcome once again.

Andrew

It sounds like you had been involved with pornography earlier and then were making some progress to change your behaviour as you write:

"I have once again fallen into the snare of pornography."

So you are attempting to change your behaviour once again..

I'd recommend doing an inventory on your self..

Learn why you are attracted to pornography and what it provides for you..

Having done that see if there are ways to meet your needs in more wholesome ways..

Also explore what you value most highly and make a conscious effort to adopt a new interest that is more powerful...

Over time you can change your behaviour and better channel your interests!

Prayer of course would be an important part of your spiritual life so ask God to remove this lower interest and help you channel your energies in a more positive direction.
 

Skwim

Veteran Member
I do not believe pleasure to be wrong in the least, though my emphasis and what I am encouraged to consider myself is this : is my pleasure derived from the humiliation of another human being.
Why do you think those in porn necessarily feel humiliated? Simply because you would? Poor basis for judgment TTS.

You will no doubt realize the terrible effect the sex industry has on those involved in it,
Prostitution in some cases, yes, but not this part of the "sex industry." Those in porn are no more or no less prone to the effects of their job than many others in their choice of employment. Not saying that porn doesn't have its shady side, but I'm not talking about child porn or animal porn; rather simple, consenting adult porn.

however if you do not wish to concede this point I appeal to a greater wisdom which is to say, and let's not limit this to simply fulfilling a natural human desire with pornography, but that in such a case where my evil desire can be denied and rep replaced -to serve rather than to recieve service.
I'm sorry that you consider eroticism to be an evil desire. As I said, "if you're committed to abiding by the dictates of your faith, which I assume considers viewing porno a sin, then you have my sympathies for your struggle.

I suppose my appeal will find its summation in a rather crude question : how often do you see pornstar doing anything more than pretending to be doctors? Hope this helps to clarify.
So now you're judging the value of porn on it's artistic merits? While certainly your prerogative, it' isn't very meaningful is it? In my view, the artistic merits of porn don't get much more than a Fail+.
 

Starsoul

Truth
Recognizing a problem is the first step towards overcoming it. This website has material to help with this specific problem,do check it out

purifyyourgaze.com
 
Why do you think those in porn necessarily feel humiliated? Simply because you would? Poor basis for judgment TTS.
Prostitution in some cases, yes, but not this part of the "sex industry." Those in porn are no more or no less prone to the effects of their job than many others in their choice of employment. Not saying that porn doesn't have its shady side, but I'm not talking about child porn or animal porn; rather simple, consenting adult porn.

I equate pornography to cleanlier prostitution.

I'm sorry that you consider eroticism to be an evil desire. As I said, "if you're committed to abiding by the dictates of your faith, which I assume considers viewing porno a sin, then you have my sympathies for your struggle.

This is very much appreciated.

So now you're judging the value of porn on it's artistic merits? While certainly your prerogative, it' isn't very meaningful is it? In my view, the artistic merits of porn don't get much more than a Fail+.

It was to be read more in jest, a final appeal to what I have tried to sum as greater wisdom. I may be able to clarify my appeal with a question : what do you consider the role of pornography to be within a functional society?

Swim, as I read your replies I step away with refreshment; ah how I love the contrarian!
 
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