How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Got this one from my folks, who took it with a grain of salt considering the Mormon version:

Charismatic : Only 1
Hands are already in the air.

Pentecostal : 10
One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians : None
Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic : None
Candles only.

Baptists: At least 15.
One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change
and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken .

Episcopalians: 3
One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about
how much better the old one was.

Mormons : 5
One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians :
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need
for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light
bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern
dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will
explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent,
fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid
paths to illuminescence.

Methodists : Undetermined
Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You
can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your
choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.

Nazarene :6
One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting
policy.

Lutherans: None
Lutherans don't believe in change.

Amish :
What's a light bulb?

that's funny.

You missed the Orthodox one. Normally the response is: 'Change? Who said anything about change?'

James

Sorry, I didn't actually compile it, just passing it on.

FWIW the LDS version that I've heard is more like the Baptist version:

"Four: one to change the bulb and three to make refreshments."

That is very funny

-The Prophet

They are, of course, all good. I think the prize goes to the UU one.:biglaugh:

michel said:

They are, of course, all good. I think the prize goes to the UU one.:biglaugh:

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Totally agree! That's the one that had me rolling!

michel said:

They are, of course, all good. I think the prize goes to the UU one.:biglaugh:

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I third the motion! The UU one takes the prize! :clap

I thought the Lutheran and the Mormon ones were the best. Maybe that's because I've been lutheran the longest, and Mormon the most...

Aqualung said:

I thought the Lutheran and the Mormon ones were the best. Maybe that's because I've been lutheran the longest, and Mormon the most...

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They were pretty funny...

By the way, regarding your signature; it is "my words but a whisper, your deafness a shout." Thick as a Brick is a brillant album, and I actually took the pains to decipher those elusive(but brillant) verses.

My Thick as a Brick Analysis

Yeah. My dad has it on vynil. (gosh darn it. I can never spell that word right.) I'm going to read your analysis, don't worry. I even bookmarked it. Thanks for the link.

hahaha, i loved the UU one! I give 300000 eprops to you...:biglaugh: and maybe a frubal if i could figure out how those things work....

gnosis_777 said:

hahaha, i loved the UU one! I give 300000 eprops to you...:biglaugh: and maybe a frubal if i could figure out how those things work....

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On the upper right portion of the post that you like you will see a thing that says frubals and has a number underneath it. Click on the frubals and a seperate smaller screen will come up on the left hand side of the screen with a box for typing. Type in the note saying why you are fruballing it and than sign it with your screen name (gnosis_777)

DeepShadow said:

Sorry, I didn't actually compile it, just passing it on.

FWIW the LDS version that I've heard is more like the Baptist version:

"Four: one to change the bulb and three to make refreshments."

Click to expand...

Seems like I've heard a Mormon version something like:

Ten, if they're elders, because only one in ten will actually show up.

Aqualung said:

Yeah. My dad has it on vynil. (gosh darn it. I can never spell that word right.) I'm going to read your analysis, don't worry. I even bookmarked it. Thanks for the link.

Click to expand...

Vinyl, Young Miss Lung. I bet you never bought a vinyl record in your life, did you?