Who goes there!!!
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I haven't had a chance to thank you yet.
It's probably just that you haven't had a chance to do anything nice for me.
You know, desire smells like that to some people.
Nick, ol' boy, I'm afraid we need to switch your blackmail payments to direct deposit, since your checks have been arriving later and later.
Thanks to Wal-Mart, cheap Chinese made whoopie cushions are flooding the American market, grinding down the American whoopie cushion industry, and confusing millions of Americans who do not understand Chinese well enough to recognize a fart in that language. End the pointless confusion today! Write your congressperson about this dire threat to English language whoopie cushions! Demand higher tarrifs on all imported non-English speaking cushions!
Do good inflatable sheep go to heaven when they pop?
Nick, I sent your bikini back via stripper-gram. She says you can have it as soon as you can take it off her using nothing but your teeth.
Lordy! I don't know what I was drinking earlier tonight, but I just woke up in your message box -- hung over and naked.
Due to rising costs of providing this necessary service, I regret to inform you I must begin charging a fee for each future message I leave here. Rest assured, however, you will find the wisdom and insight to be well worth it. No doubt you are most grateful for having received such valuable prior messages free of charge. It has been a pleasure imparting wisdom to you, and I look forward to continuing for as long as you are deemed to need it.
No comment.
Hey Nick. I was telling Sunstone I was interested in joining the Awards Committee. Would you be interested?
I discovered a new beer, tonight! I'm so happy! It's by the New Belgium Brewing Company and is a Belgium style ale called Trippel. 7.8%
Don't tell yourself what I'm getting you for Christmas. I want it to be a surprise.
You're going to pull all 10 of your fingers at the same time?!?!? How do you plan on doing that?
Nick, what size pantyhose do you wear? I'm doing my Christmas shopping early this year -- while there are sales on.
Is it permissible to swill stale beer? I always cry if I have to pour it out.
No, pull your own damn finger. I'll be in the other room where the civilized people are.....jumping naked on trampolines.
Could you guys keep it down!? People are trying to pass out!
I just iz in yer thread, Nick. Deal witz it.
I'm down with Tequila. Hope you guys like Patron. -
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