Yeah, 15 years or so ago my mother confessed that I have an older brother. She and my father had it out of wedlock and it was hushed up.
There was shame. Like with crazies who have guns in some countries but won't go shooting schools up because there's this shame factor for their reputation and for their family. Get rid of shame and you can more or less do anything without social reproach - drugs, abortion, stealing, even killing grandma by convincing her she is a burden. If you have no shame you will pay a lot more in taxes for the government to protect you from weirdos, and to cover the loss of children who could be tax payers themselves one day.
Screw shame. It hurts people more than it helps, usually hurting the victims even more. What good was done by hiding your brother? None whatsoever. If that is what social cohesion means, then it needs to go away.
The point is that when divorce was not easier to get families 'stayed together', but there was much more abuse, both of spouses and of children. It was seen as 'normal'. Broken families do have consequences, but they are far less than those of abuse.
If you want to have shame, how about shame of multibillionaires? How about the shame of those lying from the pulpit to get their political candidate into office? How about shame for drawing voting districts in a way that allows your side to win even if 60% vote the other way? How about shame for corporations polluting and making the air and water unhealthy? How about the shame of insane amounts of wealth in the hands of a few while others only miles away starve?
Somehow *that* shame was never part of things before. Only those who had sex before marriage were condemned. Only those who were poor and couldn't find a way to feed their families were condemned. Only those who pointed out the dishonesty of the authorities were condemned.
The US has *always* had those who were against immigrants, from the Irish, to the Italians, to the Slavs, to the Latinos. There is *always* a fear that the new immigrants will destroy society and cause chaos. And, in every case, it is the reactionaries that cause most of the chaos and destruction, not the hard working immigrants that just want a better life.
We needed shame, but in a far different direction that we had. We shamed people who did little wrong and not those that ran roughshod over others. We shamed people for being different when that should be celebrated while not shaming the mindless conformity most people had. We shamed people for finding love in the way that worked for them while accepting those who condemned homosexuality.