An Atheist's Observation: Miracles Are Funny

[nonbeliever_92]

Miracles Are Funny

You find a dollar on the street when you're strapped for cash. Thank God, it's a miracle. Jesus' face appears on a fish stick. Praise God, He's trying to contact us. That too is a miracle. You get a C- on a test you hadn't studied for and was sure you were going to fail. Thank God you passed; it's a miracle.

A tornado sweeps through a small Midwestern town killing everyone but a four year old girl. It's a miracle. God took mercy on her, praise Him.

A tornado sweeps through a small Midwestern town and there is only one fatality: a four year old girl. It's miraculous that no one else died. Praise God.

A tornado sweeps through a small Midwestern town and everyone is killed. How unfortunate natural disasters are. God bless them...

Let's pray for their souls.

-Nonbeliever_92

 

[Father Heathen]

A statue miraculously cries.
Yet a starving child still dies.

 

[JMorris]

miracles are funny!

 

[waitasec]

Miracles Are Funny

You find a dollar on the street when you're strapped for cash. Thank God, it's a miracle. Jesus' face appears on a fish stick. Praise God, He's trying to contact us. That too is a miracle. You get a C- on a test you hadn't studied for and was sure you were going to fail. Thank God you passed; it's a miracle.

A tornado sweeps through a small Midwestern town killing everyone but a four year old girl. It's a miracle. God took mercy on her, praise Him.

A tornado sweeps through a small Midwestern town and there is only one fatality: a four year old girl. It's miraculous that no one else died. Praise God.

A tornado sweeps through a small Midwestern town and everyone is killed. How unfortunate natural disasters are. God bless them...

Let's pray for their souls.

-Nonbeliever_92

Miraculous you call it babe
You ain't seen nothing yet
They've got Pepsi in the Andes
McDonalds in Tibet
Yosemite's been turned into
A golf course for the Japs
The Dead Sea is alive with rap
Between the Tigris and Euphrates
There's a leisure centre now
They've got all kinds of sports
They've got Bermuda shorts
They had sex in Pennsylvania
A Brazilian grew a tree
A doctor in Manhattan
Saved a dying man for free
It's a miracle

Another Miracle
By the grace of God Almighty
And the pressures of the marketplace
The human race has civilized itself
It's a miracle

We've got warehouses of butter
We've got oceans of wine
We've got famine when we need it
Got designer crime
We've got Mercedes
We've got Porsche
Ferrari and Rolls Royce
We've got choice
She said meet me
In the Garden of Gethsemene my dear
The Lord said Peter I can see
Your house from here
An honest family man
Finally reaped what he had sown
A farmer in Ohio has just repaid a loan
It's a miracle
By the grace of God Almighty
And the pressures of the marketplace
The human race has civilized itself
It's a miracle

We cower in our shelters
With our hands over our ears
Lloyd-Webber's awful stuff
Runs for years and years and years
An earthquake hits the theater
But the operetta lingers
Then the piano lid comes down
And breaks his ****ing fingers
It's a miracle

roger waters....

 

[Penumbra]

Miracles Are Funny

You find a dollar on the street when you're strapped for cash. Thank God, it's a miracle. Jesus' face appears on a fish stick. Praise God, He's trying to contact us. That too is a miracle. You get a C- on a test you hadn't studied for and was sure you were going to fail. Thank God you passed; it's a miracle.

A tornado sweeps through a small Midwestern town killing everyone but a four year old girl. It's a miracle. God took mercy on her, praise Him.

A tornado sweeps through a small Midwestern town and there is only one fatality: a four year old girl. It's miraculous that no one else died. Praise God.

A tornado sweeps through a small Midwestern town and everyone is killed. How unfortunate natural disasters are. God bless them...

Let's pray for their souls.

-Nonbeliever_92

I find the logic behind such things to be obviously flawed, but I don't find this funny.

 

[Tony L Smith]

I understand your thinking, curcumstances make God seem sadistic, and to thank Him for that seems to go against our reason.
To be thankful in all things is not to say that God caused all things, but an invitation for Him to use the things that have happened to cause gain in our lives.
Even though God has set certain laws into place for order, he has given dominion to man. Man has to communicate with the creator to make man's experience full and purpose driven.

 

[Madhuri]

Yes, it can be quite ridiculous.

 

[Kathryn]

I think more miracles occur within the human heart rather than outside the human heart.

 

[St Giordano Bruno]

I can never forget this little gem from the Bible:

23 And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.
24 And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and mauled forty and two children of them.

 

[McBell]

Miracles Are Funny

You find a dollar on the street when you're strapped for cash. Thank God, it's a miracle. Jesus' face appears on a fish stick. Praise God, He's trying to contact us. That too is a miracle. You get a C- on a test you hadn't studied for and was sure you were going to fail. Thank God you passed; it's a miracle.

A tornado sweeps through a small Midwestern town killing everyone but a four year old girl. It's a miracle. God took mercy on her, praise Him.

A tornado sweeps through a small Midwestern town and there is only one fatality: a four year old girl. It's miraculous that no one else died. Praise God.

A tornado sweeps through a small Midwestern town and everyone is killed. How unfortunate natural disasters are. God bless them...

Let's pray for their souls.

-Nonbeliever_92

Count the hits and ignore the misses?

 

[near.lucemferre]

Well this completely depends on your interpretation of: "What things can be classed as miracles." Is it a normal occurrence to live? To exist in such a finely constructed and beautifully painted universe of colours, scents, tastes, textures and abstract factors of which cannot be seen, tasted, felt nor smelt. Is it just normal and valueless or is it fair to say that this life is amazing? Miraculous in-fact.

Could you ask for much more? And if you could, what would you ask for that isn't an evolved form of the elements that have already been created? Would you rather live in a heavenly land that treats all compassionately, no matter what race, gender, sexual preference, creed or ideology? Well, you have that chance, but it doesn't come without hard work -- this universe was created, work was put in to it; to achieve the highest state of reality, one must take the bad with the good, or, deal with the current with no complaints.

If you dream of casting magic, feel happy that you can dream, don't feel depressed because it isn't real. In the next life, maybe.

 

[nonbeliever_92]

I find the logic behind such things to be obviously flawed, but I don't find this funny.

it's not supposed to be funny...