The Marriage b/w Muslims and non-Muslims

[zainabhaseen]

I have heard lot of stories about Muslims marrying non-Muslims and it is also said in many communities that a Muslim man can marry a non-Muslim woman but a Muslim woman cannot marry a non-Muslim. Different people have different theories based on their beliefs. But while considering such marriage in an Islamic community...it is not allowed.

It's strictly prohibited for a Muslim to marry a non-Muslim. Whether for a man or for a woman.

Allah Strictly prohibit this, in Quran He says:
"Do not (you men) marry idolatresses unless they believe; a believing woman is better than an idolatress, even if you like her. Nor shall you (women) marry idolatrous men, unless they believe. A believing man is better than an idolater, even if you like them." (Qur’an 2:221)

The rule is same for both man and woman.

 

[Madhuri]

Here it is only speaking of 'idolaters', not 'non-Muslims'. 'Idolaters' only make up a small percentage of non-Muslims. Do you have more Quranic quotes that include everyone? I have been told that marriage between a Muslim man and a woman of a religion of the Book is allowed. Is that true?

 

[Fatihah]

I have heard lot of stories about Muslims marrying non-Muslims and it is also said in many communities that a Muslim man can marry a non-Muslim woman but a Muslim woman cannot marry a non-Muslim. Different people have different theories based on their beliefs. But while considering such marriage in an Islamic community...it is not allowed.

It's strictly prohibited for a Muslim to marry a non-Muslim. Whether for a man or for a woman.

Allah Strictly prohibit this, in Quran He says:
"Do not (you men) marry idolatresses unless they believe; a believing woman is better than an idolatress, even if you like her. Nor shall you (women) marry idolatrous men, unless they believe. A believing man is better than an idolater, even if you like them." (Qur’an 2:221)

The rule is same for both man and woman.

Response: Yes. The qur'an does prohibit marriage to non-muslims, but not all non-muslims. In islam, it is permissable foe a muslim man to marry a non-muslim woman who is either a jew or christian, (people of the Book), as long as they are chaste and have intentions on accepting islam.

"This day all good things have been made lawful to you. And the food of the people of the Book is lawful for you. And your food is lawful for them. And lawful for you are chaste believing women and chaste women from among those who were given the Book before you, when you give them their dowries, contracting valid marriage and not committing fornication, nor taking secret paramours. And whoever rejects the faith, his work indeed is vain, and in the Hereafter he will be among the losers." Surah 5:5.

 

[zainabhaseen]

@ Madhuri...yah its true in some cases...Muslims may marry a Christian or a Scripture follower if they are monotheist (believe in a single God) and don’t worship other idols besides God and it has been confirmed by a verse from the Holy Qur’an:

"Surely, some followers of the previous scriptures do believe in God, and in what was revealed to you (O Muhammad), and in what was revealed to them. They reverence God and they never trade away God’s Revelations for a cheap price. These will receive their recompense from their Lord. God is the most prompt judge." (Qur’an 3:199)

 

[Breathe]

RIn islam, it is permissable foe a muslim man to marry a non-muslim woman who is either a jew or christian, (people of the Book), as long as they are chaste and have intentions on accepting islam.

Forgive me for sounding mean, I don't mean to, but doesn't that effectively make it a "love jihad", akin to "dating for Jesus"?

One should never, ever marry someone with the plans of having them convert in mind. You should marry for love, and it shouldn't have regards to someone's race or religion, or in a lot of people's cases, even gender. I'd consider those marriages and conversions void. Converting for love is effectively done under duress. "You either convert or we can't be together" doesn't sound very pleasant.

Plus those that DO end up doing that, I've found often revert back to their original religion should the marriage end.

To explain why I think this: My wife and I know a woman who married a Muslim man, but they divorced, and now she is a Christian and raising her child up a Christian, including going to church every Sunday. Hey, even my neighbour has a son from a Muslim, and she raises him Christian. There are people whom we personally know, not the occasional person we've met and spoke with. We've met guys and girls who converted for their partners, and they broke up, then they left and reverted back.

My $0.02

 

[Fatihah]

Forgive me for sounding mean, I don't mean to, but doesn't that effectively make it a "love jihad", akin to "dating for Jesus"?

One should never, ever marry someone with the plans of having them convert in mind. You should marry for love, and it shouldn't have regards to someone's race or religion, or in a lot of people's cases, even gender. I'd consider those marriages and conversions void. Converting for love is effectively done under duress. "You either convert or we can't be together" doesn't sound very pleasant.

Plus those that DO end up doing that, I've found often revert back to their original religion should the marriage end.

To explain why I think this: My wife and I know a woman who married a Muslim man, but they divorced, and now she is a Christian and raising her child up a Christian, including going to church every Sunday. Hey, even my neighbour has a son from a Muslim, and she raises him Christian. There are people whom we personally know, not the occasional person we've met and spoke with. We've met guys and girls who converted for their partners, and they broke up, then they left and reverted back.

My $0.02

Response: I never stated that one should marry to have them convert. Islam does not teach that. One should marry out of love, but it's best for a muslim to have a spouse who shares the same religion, which is islam.

 

[Breathe]

Response: I never stated that one should marry to have them convert. Islam does not teach that. One should marry out of love, but it's best for a muslim to have a spouse who shares the same religion, which is islam.

Apologies, Fatihah, my post was not directed at you, but aimed at the OP, zainabhaseen. Sorry if you thought it was.

 

[Fatihah]

Apologies, Fatihah, my post was not directed at you, but aimed at the OP, zainabhaseen. Sorry if you thought it was.

Response: Well, I assumed it was because you quoted my post in response. Nonetheless, it's quite all right.

 

[Breathe]

Oh wait, yes it was. I have no idea why I thought otherwise.

In such a case, may I ask why you think it is preferential for one to be married to one who is the same religion?

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

@ Madhuri...yah its true in some cases...Muslims may marry a Christian or a Scripture follower if they are monotheist (believe in a single God) and don’t worship other idols besides God and it has been confirmed by a verse from the Holy Qur’an:

"Surely, some followers of the previous scriptures do believe in God, and in what was revealed to you (O Muhammad), and in what was revealed to them. They reverence God and they never trade away God’s Revelations for a cheap price. These will receive their recompense from their Lord. God is the most prompt judge." (Qur’an 3:199)

Looks like this thread has covered "idolators" and "people of the Book", but it seems to me that neither of these labels describe atheists. Can anyone shed light on the Islamic position with regard to marrying people who don't commit idolatry but also don't believe in God?

 

[Caladan]

Looks like this thread has covered "idolators" and "people of the Book", but it seems to me that neither of these labels describe atheists. Can anyone shed light on the Islamic position with regard to marrying people who don't commit idolatry but also don't believe in God?

I also find it surreal that members are talking about not marrying idol worshippers, as the pagans who once lived around the early Muslims are now gone.

 

[Fatihah]

Oh wait, yes it was. I have no idea why I thought otherwise.

In such a case, may I ask why you think it is preferential for one to be married to one who is the same religion?

Response: There are several reasons. For starters, a relationship is much better, if the two people can relate more and have more in common. So to have the same religion is much better. I must emphasize that islam is a teaching of what is best for humanity. So to recommend a couple to have the same religion does not mean that those who don't are doomed to fail as a couple. Just merely saying that having the same religion is better than having a different religion.

 

[Fatihah]

Looks like this thread has covered "idolators" and "people of the Book", but it seems to me that neither of these labels describe atheists. Can anyone shed light on the Islamic position with regard to marrying people who don't commit idolatry but also don't believe in God?

Response: It is not permissible in islam to marry atheist. Unlike some jews or christians who accept the previous scriptures and believe in Allah(God), an atheist accepts neither. As such, the compatibility on a religious point of view is not there, so marriage to an atheist is not permissible.

 

[Breathe]

Does that not mean though, Fatihah, that one should be encouraged to have the same religion, or discouraged from different (or vastly different) ones, and prohibited for non-Muslims to marry Muslims?

Also, may I ask why female Muslims may not marry a non-Muslim?

 

[Fatihah]

Does that not mean though, Fatihah, that one should be encouraged to have the same religion, or discouraged from different (or vastly different) ones, and prohibited for non-Muslims to marry Muslims?

Also, may I ask why female Muslims may not marry a non-Muslim?

Response: Yes. In islam, the teaching is that Allah(swt) will only accept the religion of islam. This is part of the reason why marriage to non-muslims is prohibited. As muslim, we love Allah(swt) more than anything and anyone, for He is the originator of all creation. As such, we should show our love and appreciation to Allah.

A non-muslim does not accept Allah as the creator. So quite naturally, they do not show love and appreciation to Allah(swt). Coming to marriage, if a muslim marries a non-muslim, they would be showing a special love and bond to someone who shows no love to Allah(swt). Naturally, such a union would be disliked by Allah(swt). An analogy I always use is if a woman is in need, and your mother is always there to love and care for her. You meet this woman, and fall in love with her. But this woman never shows any love and appreciation to your mother for caring for her. Would you marry her? Can you imagine how your mother would feel if you did? Well this is how Allah sees a muslim marrying a non-muslim.

As for a muslim woman marrying a non-muslim man, such a case is not permissible in islam. This is because in islam, it is taught that the man and woman were created with a slight difference in their nature. By nature, Allah(swt) has made women to be more sensative than men, and men physically stronger than woman. As such, Allah has prescribed a way of life (islam) which best suits the difference in nature between man and woman, thus there will be different obligations and recommendations by Allah, because men and woman's nature is different.

And example would be the role of marriage. Since men are physically stronger and are not as sensative (by more sensative, I mean that men are more likely to be aggressive and fight than woman, because their sensativity prevents them from fighting in combat with someone, causing hurt or pain), it is better for men to go out into the world and commence in labor and deal with any threats of violence or trouble in the world then women. As such, this would make the man be the one responsible for financially supporting the family and defending the family. Because of this role, a man will naturally have more influence on the family, household, and his wife then the wife would have because of his greater role of responsibility.

Since a man has such a great influence, it is best for a muslim woman to marry a muslim man. For if she were to marry a non-muslim, she can be influenced to disregard her religion and behave as the non-muslim husband, because the man plays such a great role in maintaining the household and her livelihood. So marriage to a non-muslim man by a muslim woman is not permissable.

 

[zainabhaseen]

Also, may I ask why female Muslims may not marry a non-Muslim?

@ Odion: the rules is same for both women and men.
Let me make it more clear to you...imagine that you are a man of strong faith and you have a good belief in your religion...let take Hinduism. So you must be following your God and spend your life according to your own religion. and You fell in love with a Muslim woman (lets assume she also has the same faith and belief in Islam)...and somehow you both manage to marry without converting.... so tell me how are you gonna spend your whole life with someone who has a opposite belief and totally opposite life-style than yours....what about your kids? are you going to raise them as Muslims or Hindus?
You know what ...for a man of strong belief that's a difficult to marry someone from another religion....as compared to someone who has weak faith n belief...think about it.

 

[Madhuri]

Can I ask: is interfaith marriage forbidden or just discouraged?

 

[Fatihah]

Can I ask: is interfaith marriage forbidden or just discouraged?

In islam, interfaith marriage is forbidden.

 

[Madhuri]

I can relate to wanting to marry someone within the same religion. The person you marry is the one you intend to be with for the rest of your life. Having major differences in opinion and lifestyle can make is very difficult to get along. I have even found it difficult to be in a relationship with a meat-eater.

I think that religion is a major aspect of people's lives. Sharing religious practices with a loved one is very special and creates a greater bond. I didn't realise this fully until I was in a relationship with someone of a different belief system. There was definitely something lacking.

 

[Fatihah]

I can relate to wanting to marry someone within the same religion. The person you marry is the one you intend to be with for the rest of your life. Having major differences in opinion and lifestyle can make is very difficult to get along. I have even found it difficult to be in a relationship with a meat-eater.

I think that religion is a major aspect of people's lives. Sharing religious practices with a loved one is very special and creates a greater bond. I didn't realise this fully until I was in a relationship with someone of a different belief system. There was definitely something lacking.

Response: I definately agree.