When have I ever implied that? Rather, I think I've been rather vocal that I was sick, I was self-destructing, and my lack of just not caring had me involved with various criminal activities. But that all began to change as I quit resisting myself and accepted who I am. I even went back to college and am working towards a master's and perhaps a doctorates because I wasn't sick anymore, I stopped hating myself, and I began to make plans, form goals, and work towards achieving things, and I'm continuing on improving myself in other areas, whereas before I barely had the drive to even get out of bed, and when I was awake I eventually hit the point where I was counting down the time until I could have a drink. That is all in the past now, and happened before I shaved my goatee off, shaved carpets-worth of body hair off, make myself up to look female, and for once could stand to look at myself in the mirror.