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The "I don't like Shakespeare" inspired thread

Balthazzar

Christian Evolutionist
Romeo and Juliet act 2 scene 2

Morning time with the sun coming up, a young man (Romeo) watching a woman (Juliet) standing in her widow.

But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief,
That thou her maid art far more fair than she:
Be not her maid, since she is envious;
Her vestal livery is but sick and green
And none but fools do wear it; cast it off.
It is my lady, O, it is my love!
O, that she knew she were!
She speaks yet she says nothing: what of that?
Her eye discourses; I will answer it.
I am too bold, ’tis not to me she speaks:
Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven,
Having some business, do entreat her eyes
To twinkle in their spheres till they return.
What if her eyes were there, they in her head?
The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars,
As daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven
Would through the airy region stream so bright
That birds would sing and think it were not night.
See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand!
O, that I were a glove upon that hand,
That I might touch that cheek!


I have an idea. I'll present a scene, the posts that follow have the task of making the scene more theatrical.

Scene : Rainy day, noon, worker coming out of the fields for lunch, to a diner in a small town. and a waitress who works there.

It's wide open for the theatrics.



Go
 
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Balthazzar

Christian Evolutionist
Act 2 scene 1

"Oh, my dear God in heaven!
Who is this coming into my diner?
Brute can't even wipe his damn feet!
I'm sure it's expected of me to greet him with a smile.
I'd prefer to hit him with my broom."

To give you an idea of what I have in mind.
 
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Balthazzar

Christian Evolutionist
Act 2 scene 2

"Why is she looking at me?
Evil wench!
If looks could kill I'd been dead before reaching the table.
My feet feel like I'm wearing cinder blocks.
She better not give me any lip today.
I should ask her for a towel.
And, look at el padre in the corner over there reading his bible book.
What have I walked in to?"
 
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Balthazzar

Christian Evolutionist
Act 2 scene 3

"Worthless heathen thinks he can walk in here and dirty up my floor"
I'll ask if he wants coffee with a smile, but he better not expect me to be nice about it.
I'll leave the broom and mop next to his table.
Maybe he'll get a clue."
 
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Balthazzar

Christian Evolutionist
Act 1 scene 1

There she is. I can't help but stare.
Why is she still standing in the kitchen?
God, I remember ...
To relive the past, I wonder?
What am I thinking?
Its been nearly 10 years since we last kissed,
and she a maiden no more.
 
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Balthazzar

Christian Evolutionist
I know the individual who inspired this thread doesn't much care for the Shakespearean flavored tongue, but I can't hardly resist at least trying once.

Act 1 scene 2

Mother has her bout with tears, leaving me to walk with these weighted feet.
It has been twenty four years past the tenth now, the thunder in my belly rolls.
The warmth there like a furnace; and my mother's daughter can't help but compel me.
Orphaned or not, the tears fall from the sky like arrows.
My shaking knees demand my kneeling.
Will she approach with greeting smile, or will I be turned away?
For a single drop of water to wet my tongue, I'll beg.
 
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Revoltingest

Pragmatic Libertarian
Premium Member
Scene : Rainy day, noon, worker coming out of the fields for lunch, to a diner in a small town. and a waitress who works there.
In the style of Shakespeare writing a bodice ripper...

The warm rain danced on the burly worker's taut
shirtless torso, making his lithe body glisten in the
noonday Sun peeking out from the parting clouds.
He hungers for a meal....& perhaps more. Spying a
small diner, he enters, seeking delights & satisfaction
within. He immediately locks eyes with a demure
waitress with full red lips, legs that go all the way up,
& sporting a short uniform 3 sizes to small.
 
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Balthazzar

Christian Evolutionist
Act 1 scene 2 continued

I've been parched with hunger for far too many years.
And, although I know I'm the wolf who left her standing,
unattended and without watchful eye,
I wonder if she would offer once more,
her neck to be nibbled upon, by I wolf such as I.
I pray a single drop of dew be waiting,
let my pack inform her that I'll be standing at her door.
If not today another and for her to wait.
Inform her to wait for me, I implore.
 
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Balthazzar

Christian Evolutionist
Act 1 scene 3

Why do my knees still tremble?
Deny my nerves their will.
Don't allow me to bend unto them, a coward.
My honor does not belong to fear.
Will she wait, I wonder...
Wretched wreck of a man I am!
My nerves must first settle.
I won't allow myself to fail again.
 

Balthazzar

Christian Evolutionist
Act 1 scene 3 continued

I say let her greet me tired,
worn out, and sick of yesterday.
Too fare are maidens without this season;
their eyes wander like eagles looking for prey.

Let her greet me settled and angry from her past,
despising the jaunt of youth.

Growing weary with each passing year,
perhaps I will find her as I am.
Tired, worn out, and sick of the jaunt,
envious of those who never strayed.
 
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Balthazzar

Christian Evolutionist
The Shepherd and the Wolf


Lazarus, a man 30 years of age struggles with still being in love with a waitress named Venus. As he visits her in a diner, he finds himself tormented with uncertainty.

Act 1

Scene 1, Act 1:

Lazarus:

There she is. I can't help but stare at her.
Why does she stand in the kitchen?
God, I remember ...
To re-live the past ... I wonder?
What am I thinking?
Its been nearly 10 years since we last kissed,
and she a maiden no more.

Spare me her presence without that able.
She's spoken for.
Why am I even here?
I'll ask for a drink and cause no trouble.

Scene 2, Act 1: At the Venus' home

Venus:

This is my home, let me show you around.

Lazarus:

A pair of jeans are hanging on the door knob;
I'd prefer the ones she has on to be laying on the floor.
I can hardly resist her, still.
This temptation is too great to bear.
I feel like begging her to just let us sit a while so we can talk.
I know far too well the sting of infidelity to bargain my love against her.
And she's being too reserved to be looking for anything more.

Scene 3, Act 1:

The waitress's husband (James) comes home while Lazarus and Venus sit in the living room area.

Lazarus

I can't stay much longer.
The man she wed seems nice,
I hope for her happiness.
Her daughter appears to be mischievous,
I wonder why she peeks around the corner.

Maybe one day I'll have the opportunity to try again.
I must be the wolf I know her mother warned her of.
I will have wished Venus' husband and her divorced.

.
Act 2

Kruger, A man who has been working in the fields comes in for lunch. It has been raining.

(At the same time, Lazarus contemplates his life, still tormented by his love for her.)


Scene 1, Act 2:

Venus

Oh, my dear God in heaven!
Who is this coming into my diner?
Brute can't even wipe his damn feet!
I'm sure it's expected of me to greet him with a smile.
I'd prefer to hit him with my broom."

Kruger

" Why is she looking at me?
Evil wench!
If looks could kill I'd been dead before reaching the table.
My feet feel like I'm wearing cinder blocks.
She better not give me any lip today.
I should ask her for a towel to wipe the mud from my feet.
And look at “el padre” in the corner over there reading his bible book.
What have I walked in to?"

Venus

Worthless heathen thinks he can walk in here and muddy up my floor!
I'll ask if he wants coffee with a smile, but he better not expect me to be nice about it.
I'll leave the broom and mop next to his table.
Maybe he'll get a clue."


Scene 2, Act 2

This scene takes place 24 years after his last encounter with Venus at the diner, and 8 years after Lazarus was orphaned by his mother's passing in 2016. Lazarus is 53 years of age at this point. This also happens at the same time Kruger goes to the diner, with Lazarus still hungry to rekindle the old flame between himself and Venus.

Scene 2, Act 2:

Lazarus

Mother earth has her bout with tears, leaving me to walk with these weighted feet.
It has been twenty-four years past the tenth now, the thunder in my belly churns.
The warmth there is like a furnace; my mother's daughter can't help but compel me.
Orphaned or not, the tears fall from the sky like arrows.
My shaking knees demand kneeling.
Will she approach with greeting smile, or will I be turned away?
For a single drop of water to wet my tongue, I beg for her pardon.

I've been parched with hunger for far too many years.
And, although it was me, the wolf who left her standing,
unattended and without watchful eye,
I wonder if she would offer once more,
her neck to be nibbled upon, by a wolf such as I.

I pray a single drop of dew be waiting.
Let my pack inform her that I'll one day stand before her windows.

"Maybe Luke could compel her to wait for me.,"


.Act 3

Lazarus, still tormented is sitting at a table alone and once again, contemplating his situation.

Scene 1, Act 3:

Lazarus

Why do my knees still tremble?
Deny my nerves, their will.
Do not allow me to bend unto them, a coward.
My honor does not belong to fear.
Will she wait, I wonder...
Wretched wreck of a man, I am!
My nerves must first be settled.
I will not allow myself to fail her again.

Let her greet me tired, worn out, and sick of yesterday.
Too fare are maidens without this season.
Their eyes wander like eagles looking for prey.
Let Venus greet me angry and to be settled from her past,
despising the jaunts of youth.

I've been growing weary with each passing year.
Perhaps, I will find her as I am: tired, worn, and sick of the jaunt,
being envious of those who never strayed.

Does confidence fail me?
Perhaps ...
I could claim title of a rightful coward.
Thunder offers no peace.
No, it churns as a tempest in my belly,
leaving me to wallow in shame.

I could very well buckle and submit myself to its power,
but what would that say of me?
I'm not one to be left viewed as having no spine.
I will rise through this difficulty.

Yes, I will rise...

This new season stands upon us with work left incomplete.
I'll wait until the moon gives way and shows her lunacy absent,
cresting wane on that day, the sabbath 4th.

The sun will rise up again, with a refining knock upon the doors.
Could May be that day of destiny, by chance?
Perhaps, there will be another Wednesday.
No matter! Our day to rest will greet us again.

I've nearly forgotten how to breathe free of worry.
May the gods bless me with her wait.
Let her be a fare maiden no more,
and as a single drop of dew laying on the grass,
eager to quench my thirst ...
that my envy passes like a withered weed
plucked from my mother, the earth.
 
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Balthazzar

Christian Evolutionist
Act 4

Scene 1


McClouden


Our world is at war; why do we sit?
We've become more useless than the rotten meat log Mercius put in the trash.
Potato's fare far longer than any meat I've ever purchased, whether by bow or bought.
Remind me to cheat him of his stew. He should have saved our money for rent.

Mercius

What are you going on about, McClouden? You complain more than my mother in law.
I should buy you cheese to go with your precious potato's.
Next time I'll purchase lentils. They last far longer than any potato I've ever dug from the ground.


The meat log is too rancid for my comfort. It disturbs my peace.
McClouden, take the meat log from the trash and place it in the pit we dug.
We may be able to catch a wolf for our journey. It would make a fine addition to our troop.
The keen ears and snout go well with their teeth; we'd be better guarded with one on our side.

McClouden


I should put the meat log in your tent with your boots.
You wouldn't even notice it until you put your boots on. That's a great idea … I should but I won't.

Mercius! A wolf would make a nice addition. I'll get on that right away.



Scene 2, Act 4


Lazarus

Our leaders have been at war against each other for over a year.
It won't be long before our current, replaced. I can feel it in my bones.
The citizens are on edge, as am I. And, what if our current house wins this war?

The politics of national unrest ... The uncertainty won't lend them much value.
The others who've come against them have been accused of mutiny.
There's too many vying for this power.
The next few seasons could prove ugly.


This switch isn't due for another16 seasons.
I'm impoverished myself and know full well the sting of humility.
The spies present are relentless. I can't even take a **** without one of them making comment.

To think a rib need be present every time I open my pants. Shameless and unfortunate fools they are.
Our current leader nary a chance to succeed this war and the spies, they rarely have mercy.
They're more apt to lie than speak a truth that might show them dim.

I have a full 3 seasons until winter. I will make good use of them.
There's too much work left incomplete to spend it exposing my rib to some stranger or spy.
Incompetent fools.


Scene 3

Kruger

My work is never done. All day long, every day, I'm either in the fields or packing grain.
I must be the most unappreciated man in this town the way some people look at me.

I should take my dogs around the building. I've heard complaints of vagrants hanging about.
The bus stop has been a life saver, but the incoming host of people who fill them are hardly desirable.

They should give me position of Sheriff. I'd put a stop to the vagrancy and to the incoming low life's around here.
 

Balthazzar

Christian Evolutionist
Act 5

The Gods


Scene 1

Destineous

Humans are such strange creatures. Why do they sit and ponder these things?
If it were I who lived there, I'd have already bagged my catch and made peace with my heart.
Their kingdoms are like stacks of cards that topple from the wind of the slightest tempest.
So uncertain they become and cruel. I wonder if I sent Divideous to keep them separated
for uncertain seasons, if it might draw them closer?

Divideous

These magnets create more trickery than an orange. I remember the first human to bite into
one. I could hardly contain my laughter when he threw it to the ground. One of my greatest
creations, the orange, and now I have the magnet. I must find opportunity to apply its power.

Destineous

Divideous … How would you like to re-enter the human's world? I have an idea that you may
be interested in.

Divideous

It depends, I'm having more fun with my newest creation than I've ever had with any before it.

Destineous

What have you created? I need you to keep divisions between a group of humans. There are
none in the heavens or earth more skilled than you for this task. Tell me you'll put your toy
away and go.

Divideous

I will not put it away! Nay, this is the opportunity I've been looking for. Yes, Destineous I will
go. My newest creation will be useful. Not only does it have the power to divide, but also
draw near. I shall use it to pull and push them in every direction but together, and I will make
sure they yearn from the separation.

Destineous

You're such a sweety, Divideous. I don't know what I would do without you. You may leave as
soon as you're ready. I will open the gate for your safe entrance.

Divideous

When shall I return?

Destineous

I'm uncertain. I'll ponder your return after you depart. I'll have my wolf inform you of the day
and season. He will be sent with you as a shadow in the night.
 
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Balthazzar

Christian Evolutionist
The Shepherd and the Wolf
Taking place during the last days of the 20th century and the first three decades of the 21st, the world is at war. The country is having a war of its own within its borders. Several houses have been vying to establish their families as rulers, pitting themselves against current leadership.


The story begins the last few days of the 20th century with Lazarus, a man 30 years of age, who struggles with still being in love with a waitress named Venus.


As he visits her in a diner, he finds himself tormented with uncertainty.

Act 1

Scene 1, Act 1:

Lazarus:

There she is. I can't help but stare at her.
Why does she stand in the kitchen?
God, I remember ...
To re-live the past ... I wonder?
What am I thinking?
Its been nearly 10 years since we last kissed,
and she a maiden no more.

Spare me her presence without that able.
She's spoken for.
Why am I even here?
I'll ask for a drink and cause no trouble.

Scene 2, Act 1: At the Venus' home

Venus:

This is my home, let me show you around.

Lazarus:

A pair of jeans are hanging on the door knob;
I'd prefer the ones she has on to be laying on the floor.
I can hardly resist her, still.
This temptation is too great to bear.
I feel like begging her to just let us sit a while so we can talk.
I know far too well the sting of infidelity to bargain my love against her.
And she's being too reserved to be looking for anything more.

Scene 3, Act 1:

The waitress's husband (James) comes home while Lazarus and Venus sit in the living room area.

Lazarus

I can't stay much longer.
The man she wed seems nice,
I hope for her happiness.
Her daughter appears to be mischievous,
I wonder why she peeks around the corner.

Maybe one day I'll have the opportunity to try again.
I must be the wolf I know her mother warned her of.
I will have wished Venus' husband and her divorced.

.
Act 2

Kruger, A man who has been working in the fields comes in for lunch. It has been raining.

(At the same time, Lazarus contemplates his life, still tormented by his love for her.)


Scene 1, Act 2:

Venus

Oh, my dear God in heaven!
Who is this coming into my diner?
Brute can't even wipe his damn feet!
I'm sure it's expected of me to greet him with a smile.
I'd prefer to hit him with my broom."

Kruger

" Why is she looking at me?
Evil wench!
If looks could kill I'd been dead before reaching the table.
My feet feel like I'm wearing cinder blocks.
She better not give me any lip today.
I should ask her for a towel to wipe the mud from my feet.
And look at “el padre” in the corner over there reading his bible book.
What have I walked in to?"

Venus

Worthless heathen thinks he can walk in here and muddy up my floor!
I'll ask if he wants coffee with a smile, but he better not expect me to be nice about it.
I'll leave the broom and mop next to his table.
Maybe he'll get a clue."


Scene 2, Act 2

This scene takes place 24 years after his last encounter with Venus at the diner, and 8 years after Lazarus was orphaned by his mother's passing in 2016. Lazarus is 53 years of age at this point. This also happens at the same time Kruger goes to the diner, with Lazarus still hungry to rekindle the old flame between himself and Venus.

Scene 2, Act 2:

Lazarus

Mother earth has her bout with tears, leaving me to walk with these weighted feet.
It has been twenty-four years past the tenth now, the thunder in my belly churns.
The warmth there is like a furnace; my mother's daughter can't help but compel me.
Orphaned or not, the tears fall from the sky like arrows.
My shaking knees demand kneeling.
Will she approach with greeting smile, or will I be turned away?
For a single drop of water to wet my tongue, I beg for her pardon.

I've been parched with hunger for far too many years.
And, although it was me, the wolf who left her standing,
unattended and without watchful eye,
I wonder if she would offer once more,
her neck to be nibbled upon, by a wolf such as I.

I pray a single drop of dew be waiting.
Let my pack inform her that I'll one day stand before her windows.

"Maybe Luke could compel her to wait for me.,"


.Act 3

Lazarus, still tormented is sitting at a table alone and once again, contemplating his situation.

Scene 1, Act 3:

Lazarus

Why do my knees still tremble?
Deny my nerves, their will.
Do not allow me to bend unto them, a coward.
My honor does not belong to fear.
Will she wait, I wonder...
Wretched wreck of a man, I am!
My nerves must first be settled.
I will not allow myself to fail her again.

Let her greet me tired, worn out, and sick of yesterday.
Too fare are maidens without this season.
Their eyes wander like eagles looking for prey.
Let Venus greet me angry and to be settled from her past,
despising the jaunts of youth.

I've been growing weary with each passing year.
Perhaps, I will find her as I am: tired, worn, and sick of the jaunt,
being envious of those who never strayed.

Does confidence fail me?
Perhaps ...
I could claim title of a rightful coward.
Thunder offers no peace.
No, it churns as a tempest in my belly,
leaving me to wallow in shame.

I could very well buckle and submit myself to its power,
but what would that say of me?
I'm not one to be left viewed as having no spine.
I will rise through this difficulty.

Yes, I will rise...

This new season stands upon us with work left incomplete.
I'll wait until the moon gives way and shows her lunacy absent,
cresting wane on that day, the sabbath 4th.

The sun will rise up again, with a refining knock upon the doors.
Could May be that day of destiny, by chance?
Perhaps, there will be another Wednesday.
No matter! Our day to rest will greet us again.

I've nearly forgotten how to breathe free of worry.
May the gods bless me with her wait.
Let her be a fare maiden no more,
and as a single drop of dew laying on the grass,
eager to quench my thirst ...
that my envy passes like a withered weed
plucked from my mother, the earth.
I added a short description and timeline for the story. In the quoted text.
 
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