My desire to hit you is very strong, lol.

[rageoftyrael]

So, i'm gonna preface this by saying that I'm an extremely non violent person.

I have friends who hit me, just playing around, and i only hit them back cause i know from experience they won't stop if i don't hit them back. To further explain this, generally, when someone hits me, i don't even have the desire to hit them back. None whatsoever, I just want them to stop hitting me.

Another about myself is that I'm terrified of conflict. Generally, this manifests in two forms. The first is that I hate to ask people for things. It has to be really important for me to ignore my fear and ask. The second is I am inordinately terrified in any situation that is angry. That is actually a large part of the reason of why I'm so easygoing. It's easier for me to just let something go then confront someone and be terrified. I would like to clarify that when i believe it to be important, I will stand up and say something.

So, the pattern here is i'm nonviolent, and that I often avoid real conflict. I've been this way for most of my life. Until recently....

I am now 25, and i'm beginning to stand up for myself more now. I'm not sure why. It's not something I decided, it's just that i'm more willing to do it. I'm no less terrified in these situations, lol, I just do it anyway.

The reason I started this thread though, is that for a little while, I've been going out for walks, and I'll see people. This started a few months ago. Not the seeing people part, but the next part, lol. Before, when i see people, i'm always nice and friendly. Wave, say hi, nod in their direction, whatevs. Still do actually, but i digress. What has changed now is that when i see people, I get a very strong desire to harm them in some way. Generally something along the lines of punching them in the face. This is an equal opportunity desire too, I get the same feeling when i see a kid.

Don't freak out, I've never assaulted anyone. Honestly, the feeling always dies very quickly. Though I must say that part of the feeling is me imagining doing it. If i want to punch them, I see myself punching them. This will flash through me when i see people. Don't know why. I think it's mostly going away, but i'm wondering why this happened.

Opinions? Feel free to psychoanalyze me.

 

[ChristineES]

I am not a psychologist at all, but... here goes: Maybe something about them triggers some memory out of you. Maybe they remind you of someone who hurt you in the past.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

So, i'm gonna preface this by saying that I'm an extremely non violent person.

I have friends who hit me, just playing around, and i only hit them back cause i know from experience they won't stop if i don't hit them back. To further explain this, generally, when someone hits me, i don't even have the desire to hit them back. None whatsoever, I just want them to stop hitting me.

Another about myself is that I'm terrified of conflict. Generally, this manifests in two forms. The first is that I hate to ask people for things. It has to be really important for me to ignore my fear and ask. The second is I am inordinately terrified in any situation that is angry. That is actually a large part of the reason of why I'm so easygoing. It's easier for me to just let something go then confront someone and be terrified. I would like to clarify that when i believe it to be important, I will stand up and say something.

So, the pattern here is i'm nonviolent, and that I often avoid real conflict. I've been this way for most of my life. Until recently....

I am now 25, and i'm beginning to stand up for myself more now. I'm not sure why. It's not something I decided, it's just that i'm more willing to do it. I'm no less terrified in these situations, lol, I just do it anyway.

The reason I started this thread though, is that for a little while, I've been going out for walks, and I'll see people. This started a few months ago. Not the seeing people part, but the next part, lol. Before, when i see people, i'm always nice and friendly. Wave, say hi, nod in their direction, whatevs. Still do actually, but i digress. What has changed now is that when i see people, I get a very strong desire to harm them in some way. Generally something along the lines of punching them in the face. This is an equal opportunity desire too, I get the same feeling when i see a kid.

Don't freak out, I've never assaulted anyone. Honestly, the feeling always dies very quickly. Though I must say that part of the feeling is me imagining doing it. If i want to punch them, I see myself punching them. This will flash through me when i see people. Don't know why. I think it's mostly going away, but i'm wondering why this happened.

Opinions? Feel free to psychoanalyze me.

Holy crap...I was reading along thinking 'Hey, this dude sounds a bit like me when I was younger', but then...whammo!

Can I ask a few questions?

1) Is it only strangers you want to smack?
2) Is there only particular environments or whilst performing certain behaviours in which this manifests? So, is walking the street a problem, but shopping in the supermarket not?
3) Any discernible differences in the people you want to hit? Is it everyone, or would an old granny on a walking frame get a pass? Males more than/less than/same as females?
4) When you say you're terrified of conflict, what impact has this had on your life? Do you feel like it's been negative?

 

[Me Myself]

I ll use dog psychology:

Yu have a problem of dominance

Sorry, I am playing, just read a dog human psychology nonsense thread xD

Seriously though, what lewisnotmiller asked

 

[Shermana]

You may be sensing a lot of bad chi/karma in people these days.....sometimes I pick up on some really bad vibes from people just by crossing their path.

 

[Sha'irullah]

Violence is natural. I recommend unleashing your inner violent nature upon somebody actually in need of it like I have done in the past.
I am perhaps the only kid to be picked on by a bully then bully the bully. Me and you have the same non violent behavior but unlike you I know sooner or later my need to commit an act of violence will occur and I embrace it. Simply because it is not a daily occurrence and I will not have to be picking teeth out of my fist all my life.

 

[rageoftyrael]

Okay, i'll answer your questions, lewisnotmiller
1. Just strangers. Don't have these urges with people i know. Of course, I've never walked by someone i know on the street....
2.I'm not a hundred percent on this. i don't get out a lot, when i do it's often for walks. I actually don't often have this problem in supermarkets...
3.Honestly, It didn't seem to make a difference. It may have been a little more intense when it was a guy.
4.Generally, it makes it easier for people to screw me over, because unless i feel really strongly about it, i won't stand up to them. So, in that sense it's been negative. Honestly, I tend to avoid conflict, for obvious reasons, so i don't know how much effect it's having, lol.

I would like to add something here. Know how i said i'm nonviolent? I really truly am, but another thing that has started to kick in a bit more. Generally, i can get into arguments and they just scare me. I'll still argue, but it's not fun at all for me. The thing is that people can generally shout obscenities at me, or what have you, and it'll do little more than annoy me. Recently, I had a very specific experience with my 15 year old sister. I said something to her she didn't like, and she looked at me and told me to f off, in a very loud mad tone. The first thing that happened for me was an intense rage and desire to hit her. I did not act on this desire, of course, nor did i even respond to her words. I just let her walk out.

I'm just really wondering what's going on with me. I've also noticed I have been getting more emotional about stuff than i used to, but that's been an ongoing thing, and i've generally slated that as a growing older thing.

 

[Me Myself]

I think it would probably be best to go see a professional.

You are puzzled over the emotions and the urges are strong and point towards unwanted effects.

Better to talk to someone whose knkowledge and understanding of the topic can be of great help

 

[InformedIgnorance]

I have -often- felt similar and have a very similar mentality towards conflict situations (except that rather than fear I feel extreme discomfort); likewise when I reached around 24 or so I began to have similar impulses and likewise have never acted on them and am indeed considered a rather gentle person (which is kind of required when you are my size to avoid getting tazzed or something lol).

That stated I believe a large portion of this is due to the fact that we retain the generation of large amounts of testosterone and adrenaline and all of the conditions that help us mangle others, a wonderful little reminder of our heritage - however in modern day life there are fewer ways in which we can use this in it's intended form - violence.

Probably the best way to deal with it is to take up a physical activity that involves some level of violence or simulated violence (but a physical activity not merely violent video games) in order to channel the urges... though on the flip side you might notice that the increased level of physical activity actually increases these urges depending on your physiology. Consulting a doctor and/or psychotherapist is usually a good idea.

 

[4consideration]

I think it would be a good idea to find someone that you can talk to in depth about this, someone that is trustworthy and competent to give you some guidance -- like perhaps a counselor. (I am not in such a professional, so this is just my personal opinion from my own life experience.)

To me, it sounds like you may be getting a signal from yourself to find a healthy balance between not being on the attack with other people and refusal to avoid confronting issues with people.

There are issues in life that really do require addressing a negative situation and taking it to the place of resolution. It may be that continually stuffing those emotions instead of addressing the situation is creating a sense of pressure, looking for release. I think it is better to really address those types of things consciously and intentionally than to have them just pop out on their own.

There is a difference between not being bothered at all by what someone else does, and not being willing to address what really is bothering you. Is it possible that you are bothered by things, but that you for some reason feel like you can't or shouldn't express that at the time. If so, it may be time to look at the reason why you don't, and figure out a solution that really does provide for a peaceful solution -- both internally and externally.

I don't recall, personally, having the sort of desire to punch strangers, but I do recall having similar avoidance of confrontation tendencies. The way I ended up dealing with it was that I got a job that required me to face that, because it required me to deal with issues and people often in dispute -- insurance property and liability claims -- some of those people were well trained in verbal confrontation -- lawyers.

 

[Kerr]

So, i'm gonna preface this by saying that I'm an extremely non violent person.

I have friends who hit me, just playing around, and i only hit them back cause i know from experience they won't stop if i don't hit them back. To further explain this, generally, when someone hits me, i don't even have the desire to hit them back. None whatsoever, I just want them to stop hitting me.

Another about myself is that I'm terrified of conflict. Generally, this manifests in two forms. The first is that I hate to ask people for things. It has to be really important for me to ignore my fear and ask. The second is I am inordinately terrified in any situation that is angry. That is actually a large part of the reason of why I'm so easygoing. It's easier for me to just let something go then confront someone and be terrified. I would like to clarify that when i believe it to be important, I will stand up and say something.

So, the pattern here is i'm nonviolent, and that I often avoid real conflict. I've been this way for most of my life. Until recently....

I am now 25, and i'm beginning to stand up for myself more now. I'm not sure why. It's not something I decided, it's just that i'm more willing to do it. I'm no less terrified in these situations, lol, I just do it anyway.

The reason I started this thread though, is that for a little while, I've been going out for walks, and I'll see people. This started a few months ago. Not the seeing people part, but the next part, lol. Before, when i see people, i'm always nice and friendly. Wave, say hi, nod in their direction, whatevs. Still do actually, but i digress. What has changed now is that when i see people, I get a very strong desire to harm them in some way. Generally something along the lines of punching them in the face. This is an equal opportunity desire too, I get the same feeling when i see a kid.

Don't freak out, I've never assaulted anyone. Honestly, the feeling always dies very quickly. Though I must say that part of the feeling is me imagining doing it. If i want to punch them, I see myself punching them. This will flash through me when i see people. Don't know why. I think it's mostly going away, but i'm wondering why this happened.

Opinions? Feel free to psychoanalyze me.

First... I am really not the person to analyze anyone. So do take anything I say with a grain of salt because I am not the best when it comes to understanding others.

Anyway, it seems you have been a little "repressed", so to speak. Avoiding conflict instead of confronting it, and now you are learning to turn that around. You are starting to learn that standing up for yourself, and that makes so you feel... stronger. Kind of like realizing you can run after breaking a leg and then you end up running everywhere from the cheer joy of running (dont know if people react that way, just using it as a metaphor). I am not saying your a psycho, btw. I have had similar feelings myself.

EDIT:

I feel my analysis is rather lacking . I am just trying to say... if you have had problems standing up for yourself, and then start to do it, its understandable if it "flips over". I could imagine doing that myself, but then again, I am a person who has problems knowing where the line is drawn, lol.

 

[Wirey]

So, i'm gonna preface this by saying that I'm an extremely non violent person.

I have friends who hit me, just playing around, and i only hit them back cause i know from experience they won't stop if i don't hit them back. To further explain this, generally, when someone hits me, i don't even have the desire to hit them back. None whatsoever, I just want them to stop hitting me.

Another about myself is that I'm terrified of conflict. Generally, this manifests in two forms. The first is that I hate to ask people for things. It has to be really important for me to ignore my fear and ask. The second is I am inordinately terrified in any situation that is angry. That is actually a large part of the reason of why I'm so easygoing. It's easier for me to just let something go then confront someone and be terrified. I would like to clarify that when i believe it to be important, I will stand up and say something.

So, the pattern here is i'm nonviolent, and that I often avoid real conflict. I've been this way for most of my life. Until recently....

I am now 25, and i'm beginning to stand up for myself more now. I'm not sure why. It's not something I decided, it's just that i'm more willing to do it. I'm no less terrified in these situations, lol, I just do it anyway.

The reason I started this thread though, is that for a little while, I've been going out for walks, and I'll see people. This started a few months ago. Not the seeing people part, but the next part, lol. Before, when i see people, i'm always nice and friendly. Wave, say hi, nod in their direction, whatevs. Still do actually, but i digress. What has changed now is that when i see people, I get a very strong desire to harm them in some way. Generally something along the lines of punching them in the face. This is an equal opportunity desire too, I get the same feeling when i see a kid.

Don't freak out, I've never assaulted anyone. Honestly, the feeling always dies very quickly. Though I must say that part of the feeling is me imagining doing it. If i want to punch them, I see myself punching them. This will flash through me when i see people. Don't know why. I think it's mostly going away, but i'm wondering why this happened.

Opinions? Feel free to psychoanalyze me.

Completely normal. We all want to slug someone. The key is to pick someone who isn't expecting it, and who you can outrun. Walk up to them, yell out "That's my slipper!" (makes it look like you're confronting a thief, so bystanders won't tackle you) and drop 'em. Then, run like Hell.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

There's something wrong with you if you don't have the urge to hit most people. Just don't hit them with your fists - instead, hit them with sarcasm and wit. Many are too dumb to know that you're insulting them, and will laugh along with you like trained baboons. It's like morphine for the soul.

 

[Titanic]

I know what your feeling man. I think at least once in anyone's life they have thought about smacking someone. In all honesty I think your all right. As long as you do not start having thought's about murder that is. My advice if your "rage thought's" do not go away then go talk to someone in the mental health field. Peace.

 

[badger]

There's something wrong with you if you don't have the urge to hit most people. Just don't hit them with your fists - instead, hit them with sarcasm and wit. Many are too dumb to know that you're insulting them, and will laugh along with you like trained baboons. It's like morphine for the soul.

Unfortunately, I must disagree. To me, there's nothing more frustrating than having the chance to use some of your best sarcasm lines and comments, only to discover your target is too thick to appreciate it! That's whenI have an irrepressible desire to slosh him!!!!

 

[lewisnotmiller]

Unfortunately, I must disagree. To me, there's nothing more frustrating than having the chance to use some of your best sarcasm lines and comments, only to discover your target is too thick to appreciate it! That's whenI have an irrepressible desire to slosh him!!!!

You're doing it wrong. You need a hand-picked squad of lackeys with you, who are just smart enough to understand your humour, but not smart enough to think up their own wisecracks.

 

[rageoftyrael]

You all have very valid points. Thanks for sharing them with me!

 

[LuisDantas]

The early posts of this thread lead me to believe that you are simply making the acquaintance of the feelings of hostility, Rage.

You seem to have little experience or familiarity with them, yet arrived at a point of your life where you must.

Having someone reliable to talk about it is probably wise, but for the most part I am optimistic about your future. You certainly sound lucid enough.