Men Just Don’t Trust Women — And It’s A Huge Problem

[Sunstone]

Please Note: This is posted in the Feminist Only Forum.

Generally speaking, we (men) do not believe things when they’re told to us by women. Well, women other than our mothers or teachers or any other woman who happens to be an established authority figure. Do we think women are pathological liars? No. But, does it generally take longer for us to believe something if a woman tells it to us than it would if a man told us the exact same thing? Definitely!

Very well thought out article, well worth reading. Please discuss!

 

[Debater Slayer]

While I think that Mr. Damon makes some great points in the article, such as how a lot of men distrust women's feelings compared to men's, I also think he may be projecting way too much. It seems to me that he is talking about his distrust of his wife's feelings as if it were necessarily a projection of men's attitude toward women's feelings in general. He does have a point that many men distrust women's feelings, but the way he presents his opinion just reeks of projection and a touch of low self-esteem to me.

Much like how some women make sweeping negative generalizations about women in order to make themselves look open-minded or tolerant, I think Mr. Damon may well be doing something similar here by extending his generalizations way too much instead of being more specific about whom they apply to.

 

[Debater Slayer]

This part stood out to me in the article as a particularly great point:

The theme that women’s feelings aren’t really to be trusted by men drives (an estimated) 72.81 percent of the sitcoms we watch, 31.2 percent of the books we read, and 98.9 percent of the conversations men have with other men about the women in their lives. Basically, women are crazy, and we are not. Although many women seem to be very annoyed by it, it’s generally depicted as one of those cute and innocuous differences between the sexes.

I have heard instances of this distrust first-hand, when guys speak about women's feelings as if they were too emotional or too irrational to be trusted compared to men's feelings and opinions. It's one of the driving forces behind the prevalent notion in this society that men are by default the ones who are supposed to wear the pants in any relationship with a woman.

 

[Laika]

Yeah. I am in agreement with the article as that sounds about right. I don't have much of a response beyond that.

the bit about white people not believing anything black people say until other white people and "acceptable blacks" have confirmed it had me laughing. Thats so obvious you just wouldn't even see it (if your white). I remember how Fox News turned the Ferguson riots into "angry black people" attacking cops because they didn't believe anything that was said against the cops. I can well imagine the same thing happening when women say something is wrong particularly as part of rape culture.

 

[Debater Slayer]

Yeah. I am in agreement with the article as that sounds about right.

Same here. However, I think the presentation of the article is just abysmal. That doesn't detract from its great points, though.

 

[jeager106]

Women are from Venus and men are from Mars.
Case closed.


I have learned to NEVER disagree with a female.
To do as I'm requested (told!).
NEVER forget a b-day or other significant calendar date.
ALWAYS say "g-morning honey.", ask "how are you?" and mean it.
ALWAYS fix a breakfast that SHE likes to set the day off well.
NEVER, NOT EVER, say anything in any way that might be perceived as a comment
about her body weight!
When traveling ALWAYS make a pee stop when requested. As in immediately!
Never ask why it takes so long to do her makeup!
And much, much, more on "surviving the human female".
Listen! I've been divorced 3 times and it's painful and EXPENSIVE!
Heed experienced advice.
( No charge$$$$)

 

[Debater Slayer]

Women are from Venus and men are from Mars.
Case closed.


I have learned to NEVER disagree with a female.
To do as I'm requested (told!).
NEVER forget a b-day or other significant calendar date.
ALWAYS say "g-morning honey.", ask "how are you?" and mean it.
ALWAYS fix a breakfast that SHE likes to set the day off well.
NEVER, NOT EVER, say anything in any way that might be perceived as a comment
about her body weight!
When traveling ALWAYS make a pee stop when requested. As in immediately!
Never ask why it takes so long to do her makeup!
And much, much, more on "surviving the human female".
Listen! I've been divorced 3 times and it's painful and EXPENSIVE!
Heed experienced advice.
( No charge$$$$)

This is the feminist-only section. Do you self-identify as a feminist?

 

[jeager106]

This is the feminist-only section. Do you self-identify as a feminist?

In the context of one definition then "yes".

• fem·i·nist1
  /ˈfemənəst/
  noun
  1. a person who supports feminism.
  adjective
  1. of, relating to, or supporting feminism:

 

[Debater Slayer]

In the contest of one definition then "yes".

• fem·i·nist1
  /ˈfemənəst/
  noun
  1. a person who supports feminism.
  adjective
  1. of, relating to, or supporting feminism:

So you support the feminist movement and full gender equality?

 

[jeager106]

So you support the feminist movement and full gender equality?

I do not actively support the movement but agree in principle.
Evidently other societies too.
We have females in almost all occupations these days.

 

[crossfire]

It's true. Among way too many people, I can bring forth facts, complete with sourced footnotes, and still not be believed until it is confirmed by a man. Go figure.

All too often, I get the response, "Why didn't you say this earlier?"

 

[Debater Slayer]

I do not actively support the movement but agree in principle.
Evidently other societies too.
We have females in almost all occupations these days.

Okay. Thanks for clarifying.

 

[jeager106]

It's true. Among way too many people, I can bring forth facts, complete with sourced footnotes, and still not be believed until it is confirmed by a man. Go figure.

All too often, I get the response, "Why didn't you say this earlier?"

Why didn't you say this earlier?

(sorry but you left yourself wide open)

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Women are from Venus and men are from Mars.
Case closed.


I have learned to NEVER disagree with a female.
To do as I'm requested (told!).
NEVER forget a b-day or other significant calendar date.
ALWAYS say "g-morning honey.", ask "how are you?" and mean it.
ALWAYS fix a breakfast that SHE likes to set the day off well.
NEVER, NOT EVER, say anything in any way that might be perceived as a comment
about her body weight!
When traveling ALWAYS make a pee stop when requested. As in immediately!
Never ask why it takes so long to do her makeup!
And much, much, more on "surviving the human female".
Listen! I've been divorced 3 times and it's painful and EXPENSIVE!
Heed experienced advice.
( No charge$$$$)

That operating out of fear to avoid conflict goes both ways in gender discourse too. I think this kind of approach to interpersonal communication between the sexes is counterproductive in the long run. It sets up an acquiescing and pandering form of resolution and not a collaborative form of resolution.

Both men and women are human beings, and I think it's more important to remember that first and foremost than conflating the differences.

 

[jeager106]

I can't think of one other person I trust more than Dolores.
She is my partner in life.
For sound reasons we should not legally marry.
She has her adult children and those grand kids as I do.
We love & respect each other's families. All of them.
We interact well with each other's families.
Dolores loves my 15 year old son as her own child and he loves her.
Wonderful!
We don't interfere with each other's finances either but I do solicit her
advice as she's good with pennies.

 

[jeager106]

That operating out of fear to avoid conflict goes both ways in gender discourse too. I think this kind of approach to interpersonal communication between the sexes is counterproductive in the long run. It sets up an acquiescing and pandering form of resolution and not a collaborative form of resolution.

Both men and women are human beings, and I think it's more important to remember that first and foremost than conflating the differences.

Oh, cheesh. I was being humorous.

 

[crossfire]

It's true. Among way too many people, I can bring forth facts, complete with sourced footnotes, and still not be believed until it is confirmed by a man. Go figure.

All too often, I get the response, "Why didn't you say this earlier?"

I wonder, since a man wrote this article, it might give credence to my own observations?

 

[MysticSang'ha]

It's true. Among way too many people, I can bring forth facts, complete with sourced footnotes, and still not be believed until it is confirmed by a man. Go figure.

All too often, I get the response, "Why didn't you say this earlier?"

I get this too. I'm asked, "If you're upset about something, why don't you just talk with me about it?"

So I'll talk with them about it after I'm told their door is open. They say, "What, NOW? You're upset NOW? But I didn't do anything NOW. You need to tell me when it's happening instead of waiting like this."

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Oh, cheesh. I was being humorous.

We are feminists. We have no sense of humor.

 

[crossfire]

I get this too. I'm asked, "If you're upset about something, why don't you just talk with me about it?"

So I'll talk with them about it after I'm told their door is open. They say, "What, NOW? You're upset NOW? But I didn't do anything NOW. You need to tell me when it's happening instead of waiting like this."

If they open the door when it is happening, they open themselves up to being very vulnerable. I can see how this might be the source of the mistrust of women the article speaks about.