Grieving and religious duties

[Nyingjé Tso]

Vanakkam

First of all, sorry for my lack of presence here those past few weeks...

I have a simple question but I hope this thread can be useful to others in the future too.

When you're grieving or recovering for a loss, you should not attend Temple or do religious duties.
Does anyone knows how many days/weeks tho?

Thanks a lot

Aum Namah Shivaya

 

[SomeRandom]

13 days. This time is for cleansing one's house and inhabitants but also for intense grieving and one is encouraged to express their grief in whatever way suits them. The restrictions include but are not limited to certain foods and sweets (I guess depending on the sect) reading holy texts, attending work, temple, festivals, functions except funerals and entering holy places. Of course returning to work is up to individual circumstances. The immediate family may also be under restrictions for a bit longer.
And then of course you have the yearly anniversary for immidiate family members of the deceased.

 

[Vinayaka]

Depends on the sect, school. In the Tamil Vellalar tradition (the one at the temple you most likely go to most) it is 31 days. South Indian Brahmins is 11 days. Outside of those two communities I don't know. People will bring the family food, but nobody will partake of food from the deceased's home.

 

[Aupmanyav]

13 days, most generally. But the lamp in the household niche has to be lighted, though no puja is performed. This is known as the period of impurity - 'Sutak'. Apart from the grief in the family, it also has roots in the prevalence of infectious diseases in past, sort of Quarantine period. This also happens at the birth of a child for 40 day - again it is known as 'Sutak', the idea is to safeguard the new-born child. It is not taken out of a room. In olden days, the room was kept warm by keeping burning coal in a receptacle. It was very uncomfortable for the mother and perhaps child too. But that was the tradition.

 

[Nyingjé Tso]

Vanakkam,

Thank you very much for your answers, they are very informative !
I will follow as advised.

Aum Namah Shivaya

 

[Shantanu]

Vanakkam

First of all, sorry for my lack of presence here those past few weeks...

I have a simple question but I hope this thread can be useful to others in the future too.

When you're grieving or recovering for a loss, you should not attend Temple or do religious duties.
Does anyone knows how many days/weeks tho?

Thanks a lot

Aum Namah Shivaya

I do not know about traditions but as an individual who has a special relationship with God I would say that one should always go to temples and never stop doing religious duties. This is because God is part of oneself if one surrenders to Him so that it is not possible to distance oneself from Him once one has taken refuge.

 

[Nyingjé Tso]

Vanakkam Shantanu

I am never separate from my Ishta devta, whether I worship in a visible manner or not.

It is more about giving time to recover, and not bring unwanted/bad energy to the temple and home shrine. Grieving is like a wound, there is a state of weakness and loss of energy that can bring a lot of negativity. It is not an auspicious thing to bring to a holy place. It is better to let it heal first.

It does not mean to separate myself from my beloved God or step down from worship.

Aum Namah Shivaya

 

[sayak83]

Vanakkam

First of all, sorry for my lack of presence here those past few weeks...

I have a simple question but I hope this thread can be useful to others in the future too.

When you're grieving or recovering for a loss, you should not attend Temple or do religious duties.
Does anyone knows how many days/weeks tho?

Thanks a lot

Aum Namah Shivaya

As mentioned, 13 days. But, at least in Bengal, if a family member dies, one does not attend ceremonies of relatives (like marriage etc.) for a year.

 

[Aupmanyav]

And in Rajasthan, women of the family would wear maroon or blue saries for a year to indicate bereavement in the family (so that people could stop and ask them about what happened).

 

[Shantanu]

Vanakkam Shantanu

I am never separate from my Ishta devta, whether I worship in a visible manner or not.

It is more about giving time to recover, and not bring unwanted/bad energy to the temple and home shrine. Grieving is like a wound, there is a state of weakness and loss of energy that can bring a lot of negativity. It is not an auspicious thing to bring to a holy place. It is better to let it heal first.

It does not mean to separate myself from my beloved God or step down from worship.

Aum Namah Shivaya

I do not grieve the loss of anyone for the reality needs to be confronted.

 

[SomeRandom]

Vanakkam,

Thank you very much for your answers, they are very informative !
I will follow as advised.

Aum Namah Shivaya

Personally I would advise just taking as much time as you personally need to. 13 days is just a rough kind of guide based on old fashioned traditions.