Dementia Sucks

[OceanSoul]

Both of my grandmothers went through this. It's heartbreaking. I'd say it's almost better when it gets really bad and they just don't know what's going on, because in the middle watching them realizing and struggling with it was just brutal. My grandmother would forget my name and then cry when I told it to her. Like, every time I saw her.

Yes, it's like the sufferer is slowly losing their mind and everyone eventually becomes a stranger to them, including their family and friends. My Granny called me by my nickname yesterday and I was so glad as it has been months since she last remembered who I am. Sigh.

 

[Vinayaka]

"I know I used to really like something...what was it...chimichanga...choo choo trains...chimpanzees...chalk...DAMN I CAN'T REMEMBER!"

"It was cheese, dementia mouse, you loved cheese."

"That's right cheese! I hated something too...catalogues...catfish...caterpillers...dammit can't remember..."

Nah, it was just a maze. A mouse maze, not an amazing maise maze.

 

[Debater Slayer]

Enough said. My Grandmother has it and I keep hoping for a cure to come in the future so other people don't have to go through it. Do you have any loved ones with Dementia or Alzheimer's?

I don't have any loved ones with either, no, but one of my close friends lost his grandmother to dementia. Her memory was greatly damaged, among other things.

Hang in there. My thoughts are with you and your grandmother.

 

[OceanSoul]

They've given mice dementia, and then erased it, so that's where research is. As for memory, in Alzheimer's patients often the short term memory goes first. So they don't know the day of the week, etc., but will tell you stories about their childhood. Often stuff you've never heard. We're learning with my friend about her childhood in Sri Lanka, the friends she walked to school with. She remembers some of that vividly, like she was just there ... 60 years ago.

My Granny likes to talk about her past a lot though she doesn't always remember correctly, sometimes her brain will fill in the gaps where she forgets what happened, she'll create stories now and believe they were or are real events.

 

[Demonslayer]

That idea occurs to most people who go through something like this.

And yet the vast majority accept the second answer over the first.

That boggles my mind.

 

[Demonslayer]

My thoughts

Enjoy 'em while you got 'em!

 

[OceanSoul]

My mother went through something like it although not Alzheimer's specifically. I think what can help is to appreciate your loved one for who they are each moment, since they may not remember things from their past.

I like to track fun articles about science mice, such as mice with super memory or glowing mice etc. They have made some amazing super mice in labs.

Right, I agree. I like to keep in mind that I should be glad she can still speak, eat, laugh, occasionally remember us, etc. Someday she won't.

I sometimes go on neuroscience websites and look the research up, I haven't read about the mice experiments yet and will check them out. I do know about Tau Proteins and other stuff.

 

[OceanSoul]

And yet the vast majority accept the second answer over the first.

That boggles my mind.

I don't understand why from a religious/spiritual perspective why people suffer from Dementia/Alzheimer's either. It doesn't help me spiritually seeing my Grandmother going through it. Sigh..

 

[Vinayaka]

My Granny likes to talk about her past a lot though she doesn't always remember correctly, sometimes her brain will fill in the gaps where she forgets what happened, she'll create stories now and believe they were or are real events.

Or throw in something from a story they read. That part is all quite fascinating. I learned a lot about my Mom's childhood dog. Both her parents had Alzheimer's as well, (I never met either one) and one type is hereditary. So far, so good here. Enjoy your time with her.

 

[Demonslayer]

I don't understand why from a religious/spiritual perspective why people suffer from Dementia/Alzheimer's either. It doesn't help me spiritually seeing my Grandmother going through it. Sigh..

Some religious/spiritual views don't really conflict with the fact that most people, should they live long enough, end up in some state of dementia.

But any religion with a personal, present, active God who watches us all somehow has to rationalize that He/She/It designed us to get dementia.

 

[OceanSoul]

Or throw in something from a story they read. That part is all quite fascinating. I learned a lot about my Mom's childhood dog. Both her parents had Alzheimer's as well, (I never met either one) and one type is hereditary. So far, so good here. Enjoy your time with her.

Oh yes, it's interesting what her mind comes up with. I learn a lot about her life from her (trying) to tell me stories, my Grandpa does too.

 

[OceanSoul]

Some religious/spiritual views don't really conflict with the fact that most people, should they live long enough, end up in some state of dementia.

But any religion with a personal, present, active God who watches us all somehow has to rationalize that He/She/It designed us to get dementia.

Ah well, if one is arguing that God is an interventionist then that is a conundrum to work out. Personally, I'm not sure.

 

[Nietzsche]

Dementia & Alzheimers may be the most cruel way to kill someone, because it doesn't have the common courtesy to just kill you physically. Instead, the people who knew you have to watch as it destroys who and what you were. If I'm ever diagnosed with it, I'm killing myself one way or another. I am not going to let something murder who I am while my body limps on.

 

[OceanSoul]

Dementia & Alzheimers may be the most cruel way to kill someone, because it doesn't have the common courtesy to just kill you physically. Instead, the people who knew you have to watch as it destroys who and what you were. If I'm ever diagnosed with it, I'm killing myself one way or another. I am not going to let something murder who I am while my body limps on.

Pretty much what has crossed my mind, like knowing Alzheimer's and Dementia runs in my family raises the future possibility that I could get it one day. God forbid, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It's like your brain becomes a prison until you die.

 

[RabbiO]

Enough said. My Grandmother has it and I keep hoping for a cure to come in the future so other people don't have to go through it. Do you have any loved ones with Dementia or Alzheimer's?

My mother, who was mentally sharp into her early 90s, now suffers with vascular dementia. And yes, it is difficult. Very difficult.

 

[OceanSoul]

My mother, who was mentally sharp into her early 90s, now suffers with vascular dementia. And yes, it is difficult. Very difficult.

I can't imagine seeing my mother like that and knowing how to deal with it. I'm sorry that you're going through that.

 

[Vinayaka]

Dementia & Alzheimers may be the most cruel way to kill someone, because it doesn't have the common courtesy to just kill you physically. Instead, the people who knew you have to watch as it destroys who and what you were. If I'm ever diagnosed with it, I'm killing myself one way or another. I am not going to let something murder who I am while my body limps on.

Get it written up legally, give it to a good lawyer, and let everyone know your wishes. Otherwise its quire possible that someone attached to your former self, hoping selfishly to get you back, will intervene. on your behalf. Just sayin'.

 

[Demonslayer]

Ah well, if one is arguing that God is an interventionist then that is a conundrum to work out. Personally, I'm not sure.

For me the answer is in the question. Q: Is there an all powerful loving God who could easily allow your grandmother to die with grace, but choses to design her, and us all to, as Nietzsche so finely put it...force most of us to have to watch our loved ones forget who they were?

A: No. No, there is not.

After that acceptance of, and coping with, the sad condition is a tiny bit easier without all the hand-wringing, praying, and God O God why have you forsaken me, IMO. It's the human condition, we are physical beings who malfunction and die suddenly and decay sadly. There is no blame to be doled out, it just is. For all of us. If anything is our "destiny" its to help each other through and learn to accept the most difficult things in life.

Just blabbering, and I didn't mean to divert this thread into a God discussion. I've been in your shoes and am wishing you strength as you go through this.

 

[Demonslayer]

Pretty much what has crossed my mind, like knowing Alzheimer's and Dementia runs in my family raises the future possibility that I could get it one day. God forbid, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It's like your brain becomes a prison until you die.

Considering this topic, curious on where you stand on the right to die with dignity issue?

 

[OceanSoul]

Considering this topic, curious on where you stand on the right to die with dignity issue?

Well I have been debating that issue since June when a family friend (he passed away last month) suffered irreparable brain damage and whether he would want to remain on life support if it meant being a vegetable. Knowing that my Grandmother will become one and wondering what it might be like in her head is contributing to my feeling like I wouldn't want to be a vegetable.

If I ever get brain damage or have to choose between living and basically being trapped inside my brain without being able to speak, not be able to say I love my family and friends, be dependent on them for everything, I consider these things to be like Hell. I don't want to be like that. Are some things worse than death?