Anti-homosexual states should secede (the sequel)

[lewisnotmiller]

Meh, I was inspired by another thread of similar name started by @Servant_of_the_One1 , although we chose different forums for our efforts.

Still, I thought I'd save the seceding states the trouble of writing a declaration of cause by freely offering my services. In the interests of full disclosure, I will readily admit I've borrowed heavily from the Georgian declaration of cause of 1860. Oh, and sorry on the cross-outs…it’s still in draft form, so…ya know…;

The people of Daveistan having dissolved their political connection with the Government of the United States of America, present to their confederates and the world the causes which have led to the separation. For the last ten years we have born witness to the increasing impact of humanism The Gay Agenda on policy decisions, and the subsequent reduction in a fundamentalist clear direction for some all.

We believe the Gay Agenda has served to weaken our security, to disturb our domestic peace and tranquility, and persistently refused to comply with their express constitutional obligations to us in reference to this agenda, and by the use of their power in the Federal Government have striven to deprive us of an equal enjoyment of the common Territories of the Republic. Specifically, they have done this through the recognition of homosexual “marriages”, ironically the inverse of our complaints around slavery in 1860, where they stopped recognising slaves as property.

We are particularly worried about the message the recognition of homosexual marriage will send to the young people of our State. Life is confusing enough, with images of religious sectarianism, guilt-trips over masturbation, global warming, women voting and taking places in the workplace, economic issues to now have to explain that we are no longer a theocracy, being forced to like gay marriage, being forced to marry gays, respecting God’s timeless laws about mixing fabrics, 72 virgins, Soddom and Gamorah.

In summation, we invite the God-fearing to see our state as haven. Even those of you who follow the wrong God seem to know that heterosexuality is natural, no matter the unnatural things I beg my wife to do to me on a regular basis. And homosexuality is the cause of constant societal collapse since Adam and Eve , for as far back as we can point a finger. This collapse has taken many forms, but all societies have collapsed, and all societies have been infected with The Gay become decadent.

By demanding secular laws which match to our religion, we will be able to fool ourselves that drugs, homosexuals and teenage promiscuity don’t exist give our children one clear message, rather than conflicting values. And the message is that people different to you are cursed spawn of Satan the path of the righteous is a hard one (especially for gay in our state moving forwards, let me tell you!! Haha) but controlling the rights of others is a sacrifice we are willing to make.

 

[Laika]

By the Commissar of the United Islamic Socialist States of America:

A Proclamation.

Whereas, on the Thirtieth day of June, in the year of our Allah Fourteen Thirty Six, a proclamation was issued by the Commissar of the United Islamic Socialist States, containing, among other things, the following, to wit:

"That on the thirtieth day of june, in the year of our Allah Fourteen Thirty-Six, all persons held as gay within any State or designated part of a State, the people whereof shall then be in rebellion against the United Islamic Socialist States, shall be then, thenceforward, and forever free to marryso long as the government of the Revolutionary Islamic-Socialist Party feels like it; and the Executive Government of the United Islamic Socialist States, including the military and naval authority thereof, will recognize and maintain the freedom to marry of such persons, and will do no act or acts to repress such persons, or any of them, in any efforts they may make for their actual freedom. Any White persons found to criticise this law will be forced to voluntarily undergo thought reform under Article VI of the Political Correctess Act.

"That the Executive will, on the thirtieth of June aforesaid, by proclamation violate and spit on the Constitution of the White slave-owners and designate the States and parts of States, if any, in which the people thereof, respectively, shall then be in rebellion against the Cultural Marxist Revolution of the United Islamic Socialist States; and the fact that any State, or the people thereof, shall on that day be, in good faith, represented in the Revolutionary Islamic People's Congress of the United Islamic Socialist States by members chosen thereto at elections wherein a majority of the qualified voters of such State shall have participated, shall, in spite of strong countervailing testimony, be deemed conclusive evidence that such State, and the people thereof, are not then in rebellion against the United Islamic Socialist States. Am I not Your Benevolent Black Over-lord you politically incorrect devil worshiping White people?"

Now, therefore I, Barrack Kenyean-Hussein Anti-Christ Obama, Commissar of the United Islamic Socialist States, by virtue of the power in me vested as Commissar-in-Chief, of the Army and Navy and Thought Police of the United Islamic Socialist States in time of actual armed rebellion against the authority and government of Cultural Marxist Revolution in the United Islamic Socialist States, and as a fit and necessary war measure for suppressing said rebellion against Cultural Marxist, do, on this thirtieth day of june, in the year of our Allah Fourteen Thirty-Six, and in accordance with my purpose so to do publicly proclaimed for the full period of one hundred days, from the day first above mentioned, order and designate as the States and parts of States wherein the people thereof respectively, are this day in rebellion against the United Islamic-Socialist States,

And by virtue of the arbirtary power, and for the purpose aforesaid to voilate and spit on the constitution of the white slave-owners, I do order and declare that all persons held as gay within said designated States, and parts of States, are, and henceforward shall be free to marry; and that the Executive government of the United Islamic-Socialist States, including the military and naval and thought policing authorities thereof, will recognize and maintain the freedom of said persons whilst declaring all those who oppose this proclimation as Thought-criminals under article VI of the Decree on Political Correctnes and subject to immediate Thought Reform.

And I hereby enjoin upon the people so declared to be free to marry to abstain from all violence, unless in necessary self-defence or as part of foreplay; and I recommend to them that, in all cases when allowed, they fornicate regulary.

And I further declare and make known, that such persons of suitable condition, will be received into the armed service of the United States to garrison forts, positions, stations, and other places, and to man vessels of all sorts in said service.

And upon this act, sincerely believed to be an act of justice, warranted by the Constitution, upon military necessity, I invoke the considerate judgment of mankind, and the gracious favor of Almighty Dawkins.

In witness whereof, I have hereunto set my hand and caused the seal of the United Islamic-Socialist States to be affixed.

Done at the City of Washington, thirtith june, in the year of our Allah Fourteen Thirty-Six, and of the seventh year of the Cultural Marxist Revolution of the United Islamic-Socialist States of America.

By the Commissar: Barrack Kenyean-Hussein Anti-Christ Obama
John Kerry, Da Man of State.

Heil to the Hood Brothers!

 

[Curious George]

Meh, I was inspired by another thread of similar name started by @Servant_of_the_One1 , although we chose different forums for our efforts.

Still, I thought I'd save the seceding states the trouble of writing a declaration of cause by freely offering my services. In the interests of full disclosure, I will readily admit I've borrowed heavily from the Georgian declaration of cause of 1860. Oh, and sorry on the cross-outs…it’s still in draft form, so…ya know…;

The people of Daveistan having dissolved their political connection with the Government of the United States of America, present to their confederates and the world the causes which have led to the separation. For the last ten years we have born witness to the increasing impact of humanism The Gay Agenda on policy decisions, and the subsequent reduction in a fundamentalist clear direction for some all.

We believe the Gay Agenda has served to weaken our security, to disturb our domestic peace and tranquility, and persistently refused to comply with their express constitutional obligations to us in reference to this agenda, and by the use of their power in the Federal Government have striven to deprive us of an equal enjoyment of the common Territories of the Republic. Specifically, they have done this through the recognition of homosexual “marriages”, ironically the inverse of our complaints around slavery in 1860, where they stopped recognising slaves as property.

We are particularly worried about the message the recognition of homosexual marriage will send to the young people of our State. Life is confusing enough, with images of religious sectarianism, guilt-trips over masturbation, global warming, women voting and taking places in the workplace, economic issues to now have to explain that we are no longer a theocracy, being forced to like gay marriage, being forced to marry gays, respecting God’s timeless laws about mixing fabrics, 72 virgins, Soddom and Gamorah.

In summation, we invite the God-fearing to see our state as haven. Even those of you who follow the wrong God seem to know that heterosexuality is natural, no matter the unnatural things I beg my wife to do to me on a regular basis. And homosexuality is the cause of constant societal collapse since Adam and Eve , for as far back as we can point a finger. This collapse has taken many forms, but all societies have collapsed, and all societies have been infected with The Gay become decadent.

By demanding secular laws which match to our religion, we will be able to fool ourselves that drugs, homosexuals and teenage promiscuity don’t exist give our children one clear message, rather than conflicting values. And the message is that people different to you are cursed spawn of Satan the path of the righteous is a hard one (especially for gay in our state moving forwards, let me tell you!! Haha) but controlling the rights of others is a sacrifice we are willing to make.

Chuckled at most but "infected with The Gay" got me good.

 

[leibowde84]

By the Commissar of the United Islamic Socialist States of America:

A Proclamation.

Whereas, on the Thirtieth day of June, in the year of our Allah Fourteen Thirty Six, a proclamation was issued by the Commissar of the United Islamic Socialist States, containing, among other things, the following, to wit:

"That on the thirtieth day of june, in the year of our Allah Fourteen Thirty-Six, all persons held as gay within any State or designated part of a State, the people whereof shall then be in rebellion against the United Islamic Socialist States, shall be then, thenceforward, and forever free to marryso long as the government of the Revolutionary Islamic-Socialist Party feels like it; and the Executive Government of the United Islamic Socialist States, including the military and naval authority thereof, will recognize and maintain the freedom to marry of such persons, and will do no act or acts to repress such persons, or any of them, in any efforts they may make for their actual freedom. Any White persons found to criticise this law will be forced to voluntarily undergo thought reform under Article VI of the Political Correctess Act.

"That the Executive will, on the thirtieth of June aforesaid, by proclamation violate and spit on the Constitution of the White slave-owners and designate the States and parts of States, if any, in which the people thereof, respectively, shall then be in rebellion against the Cultural Marxist Revolution of the United Islamic Socialist States; and the fact that any State, or the people thereof, shall on that day be, in good faith, represented in the Revolutionary Islamic People's Congress of the United Islamic Socialist States by members chosen thereto at elections wherein a majority of the qualified voters of such State shall have participated, shall, in spite of strong countervailing testimony, be deemed conclusive evidence that such State, and the people thereof, are not then in rebellion against the United Islamic Socialist States. Am I not Your Benevolent Black Over-lord you politically incorrect devil worshiping White people?"

Now, therefore I, Barrack Kenyean-Hussein Anti-Christ Obama, Commissar of the United Islamic Socialist States, by virtue of the power in me vested as Commissar-in-Chief, of the Army and Navy and Thought Police of the United Islamic Socialist States in time of actual armed rebellion against the authority and government of Cultural Marxist Revolution in the United Islamic Socialist States, and as a fit and necessary war measure for suppressing said rebellion against Cultural Marxist, do, on this thirtieth day of june, in the year of our Allah Fourteen Thirty-Six, and in accordance with my purpose so to do publicly proclaimed for the full period of one hundred days, from the day first above mentioned, order and designate as the States and parts of States wherein the people thereof respectively, are this day in rebellion against the United Islamic-Socialist States,

And by virtue of the arbirtary power, and for the purpose aforesaid to voilate and spit on the constitution of the white slave-owners, I do order and declare that all persons held as gay within said designated States, and parts of States, are, and henceforward shall be free to marry; and that the Executive government of the United Islamic-Socialist States, including the military and naval and thought policing authorities thereof, will recognize and maintain the freedom of said persons whilst declaring all those who oppose this proclimation as Thought-criminals under article VI of the Decree on Political Correctnes and subject to immediate Thought Reform.

And I hereby enjoin upon the people so declared to be free to marry to abstain from all violence, unless in necessary self-defence or as part of foreplay; and I recommend to them that, in all cases when allowed, they fornicate regulary.

And I further declare and make known, that such persons of suitable condition, will be received into the armed service of the United States to garrison forts, positions, stations, and other places, and to man vessels of all sorts in said service.

And upon this act, sincerely believed to be an act of justice, warranted by the Constitution, upon military necessity, I invoke the considerate judgment of mankind, and the gracious favor of Almighty Dawkins.

In witness whereof, I have hereunto set my hand and caused the seal of the United Islamic-Socialist States to be affixed.

Done at the City of Washington, thirtith june, in the year of our Allah Fourteen Thirty-Six, and of the seventh year of the Cultural Marxist Revolution of the United Islamic-Socialist States of America.

By the Commissar: Barrack Kenyean-Hussein Anti-Christ Obama
John Kerry, Da Man of State.

Heil to the Hood Brothers!

I saw that you have a quote from Joseph Stalin in your signature. Just out of curiosity, is he someone that you admire?

 

[Jainarayan]

Chuckled at most but "infected with The Gay" got me good.

It's not "infected with The Gay", it's "ketched teh ghey".

 

[Wirey]

What would you call a nation founded on homosexuality?

 

[Revoltingest]

What would you call a nation founded on homosexuality?

A "fabulocracy"?
That's more fun than "homocracy".

 

[Wirey]

A "fabulocracy"?
That's more fun than "homocracy".

I was looking more for an actual name, but I like fabulocracy. Can't wait to see that flag.

 

[Jainarayan]

If there is a constitution for this new nation, I think the first article, being the most important for a theocracy should read "The High Council shall not permit any state to make any law that would respect any religion other than that based on a literal interpretation of Almighty God's Holy Bible; nor permit the free exercise of any religion contrary to our holy state religion based on said literal interpretation of Almighty God's Holy Bible."

When Louisianans realize that gumbo, jambalaya, crawdads and etouffé are off the menu, not to mention bacon double cheeseburgers in all those states, I wonder if they'll rethink this.

 

[Jainarayan]

I was looking more for an actual name, but I like fabulocracy. Can't wait to see that flag.

The national anthem should be It's Raining Men.

 

[Laika]

I saw that you have a quote from Joseph Stalin in your signature. Just out of curiosity, is he someone that you admire?

More like trying to process collective guilt (edit: with humour). the realities of communism is a raw issue that gives me much 'food for thought'. I've been reading his works essentially for years. First, without realising, and later on more with a certain amount of denial. My best sources on communist theory come from second hand books published in the early 50's when Stalins word was repeated verbatum as the party's philosophy around the world. I'm flicking through Robert Services biography of Stalin on and off and am able to read between the lines somewhat as I can grasp some of his thought process. I feel a certian grudging and uneasy respect for the man as a representative as we belong to the same ideology and am trying to find ways to process the fact that his interpretation of that ideology is a potentially legitimate one. I found the quote intresting as on the one is hand it's quite funny as the devil is a rebellion against gods laws in much the way a communist rebels against capitalism (and therefore a potential intereptation of the left-hand path) and yet also has a darker interpretion given Stalin trained to be a priest as well that may well have figured into his later thinking and his personality. I think it sums up my dillemma nicely. A deal struck with the devil even.

 

[Revoltingest]

I was looking more for an actual name, but I like fabulocracy. Can't wait to see that flag.

You ask.
The internet delivers.

 

[Wirey]

You ask.
The internet delivers.

Where is that flagpole stuck?

 

[Revoltingest]

Where is that flagpole stuck?

At that particular moment, or during the party afterwards?

 

[Jainarayan]

My money is on Pat Robertson's mouth... maybe that would make him shut up.

 

[leibowde84]

More like trying to process collective guilt (edit: with humour). the realities of communism is a raw issue that gives me much 'food for thought'. I've been reading his works essentially for years. First, without realising, and later on more with a certain amount of denial. My best sources on communist theory come from second hand books published in the early 50's when Stalins word was repeated verbatum as the party's philosophy around the world. I'm flicking through Robert Services biography of Stalin on and off and am able to read between the lines somewhat as I can grasp some of his thought process. I feel a certian grudging and uneasy respect for the man as a representative as we belong to the same ideology and am trying to find ways to process the fact that his interpretation of that ideology is a potentially legitimate one. I found the quote intresting as on the one is hand it's quite funny as the devil is a rebellion against gods laws in much the way a communist rebels against capitalism (and therefore a potential intereptation of the left-hand path) and yet also has a darker interpretion given Stalin trained to be a priest as well that may well have figured into his later thinking and his personality. I think it sums up my dillemma nicely. A deal struck with the devil even.

Fair enough. That makes sense. Thanks for sharing.

 

[Wirey]

My money is on Pat Robertson's mouth... maybe that would make him shut up.

He is such an obvious closet queen.

 

[Jainarayan]

He is such an obvious closet queen.

It's a matter of "The lady doth protest too much, methinks" with just about any of them. Why some people are so fixated on homosexuality and teh buttsecks is a mystery to me.

Wait, that's a lie, it's no mystery.

 

[Wirey]

It's a matter of "The lady doth protest too much, methinks" with just about any of them. Why some people are so fixated on homosexuality and teh buttsecks is a mystery to me.

Wait, that's a lie, it's no mystery.

Maybe they're mad because no self-respecting gay man would want to see them nude. Would you like to walk in on pantsless Pat?

 

[Jainarayan]

Would you like to walk in on pantsless Pat?

Eww???