Well my thought is, if I just do me, and let him do him, that he won't bother coming back or whatever.
I don't understand how I could care so much, have this person say they do too, but then it just disappear. He like gets heated when I try to talk about it. And I'm calm and I don't understand.
If your thought patterns in this thread are any indication, you're probably just talking about it too much - that's why he gets heated. From what you've described of his sayings and behaviors, he's tried to express that he doesn't want to talk about it or is quietly asking for space. He's expecting you to understand his way of communicating in the same way that you are expecting him to understand yours, and it's making you both more frustrated.
Like I said - you have to put some distance between the two of you in order to let whatever it is that's going on cool off. When you're constantly stirring the pot, you're not helping things.
You're obviously concerned about him never returning to your friendship. But, frankly, that's just silly. If he is really the close friend that both of you claim, then a little distance won't change that. If it has all been a sham and he's just a dick, then he'll never talk to you again. Either way, the truth will reveal itself, right? You can't force someone to care about you, regardless of what they mean to you.
My best friend and I can go 6 months without ever checking in with each other and it literally means nothing at all. We're close friends whether we talk every week or once a year.
You have to loosen up a little bit and accept that this is how it's going to be a while. No manner of trying to talk about it is going to change the fact that he obviously wants some space and you need to work on yourself a little bit. You know what I'm saying?
Ask yourself these questions :
Why are you soo concerned about how he expresses his feelings?
What is it about you that makes you
need his friendship so badly?
What's the worst that could happen by taking a little break from the whole situation?
Where do you place your expectation of stability? Is it on yourself or on others?
Take some time to chew on those and be honest with yourself.