Frustration at a trans problem

[VoidCat]

Tagging @Shadow Wolf. Cuz I want to see if there's an equivilant to this with assigned male at birth transfolk.
So as yall know Im trans. Nonbinary to be exact assigned female at birth. I plan on medically transitioning soon. As part of that I have to go to therapy. So I've just been thinking up trans related stuff that bothers me to bring up with the therapist. Cuz while my gender hasn't caused many issues I do feel I should have at least one session venting such frustration. And i been thinking of one thing that really bothers me but I can't for the life of me figure out why folk think this is ok. This has happened to me 3 times by this point. Basically I bind my chest and my tits look flat right? Well then i go talk to a group of mostly ciswomen and for some reason someone feels it's ok to touch my chest and basically feel me up and point out how flat it is. I get i just performed the magic trick of teetus deletus and the person is probably surprised but like no dont touch my chest without asking. I might be ok with someone touching there and seeing how flat my chest is from binding if we were close and someone asked. But all three times no one asked. They just touched. Then im just like what the hell? Like why would someone think it's ok to just randomly touch someone's breast area even if it is under binding material without asking?


Im just venting here if anyone wants to comment feel free. I just wanted to vent somewhere about this.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

People (almost nearly always women) do like touching my hair and sometimes invade without warning, but that's not trans related.
What is trans related and makes me want to curb stomp people is when someone feels entitled to ask me about my genitals, especially to see them, before/after/whatever that **** is rude.
As for my breasts, that's been curious ciswomen just wondering if things go the same for transwomen asking about that, but they've usually been polite and genuinely curious. But I haven't been groped for that (it's just been getting groped when it's happened).

 

[VoidCat]

What is trans related and makes me want to curb stomp people is when someone feels entitled to ask me about my genitals, especially to see them, before/after/whatever that **** is rude.

Ugh that's annoying. Why folk feel that is their business I don't know.

 

[Rachel Rugelach]

@VoidCat, so sorry you're going through this "touching" thing. My personal opinion is that it is NOT "okay" to touch anyone without their permission. That goes for people who like to touch other people's hair, as well as for people who feel it's "okay" to touch a pregnant woman's belly without her permission.

@Shadow Wolf, I didn't know you were trans. I can't even being to imagine how disturbing it must be for you when someone asks to see your genitals. I'm not trans, and it would certainly be disturbing to me if I was asked such a thing.

I have a question for both of you, and I'm wondering whether any of this has any correlation with cis women who have undergone surgery for breast cancer: Sometimes, some breast cancer survivors will mutually compare scars. I'm a cancer survivor, and I have a friend who is one, also. We've compared scars, as well as discussed the effectiveness of various scar diminishing creams on the market. It may sound weird to some people, but it's kind of reassuring to those of us who exchange information this way. I'm wondering whether trans people might do the same thing among themselves?

If this was an awkward question of mine, or a stupid one, then I apologize. Just disregard my question. I mean no harm, honest.

 

[Sand Dancer]

Wow, that's really rude of them. I wonder if it's related to the fact that right after women get a boob job, they don't mind showing people (maybe not just anyone, but people they know), but after a while and they feel like they are actually part of their bodies, they don't do so as much. Maybe people, thinking that since it's not a "natural" part of someone's body, don't feel like they are invading. I can't speak about people touching your natural and bound ones, but it was more for the situations when someone gets plastic surgery. People are weird sometimes.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

Different context entirely, but my wife is a pretty private person, and HATED people touching her belly when she was pregnant. Like it suddenly became public property because they were curious...!

(people without asking permission I mean)

 

[Shadow Wolf]

I'm wondering whether trans people might do the same thing among themselves?

I've not but I heard of some who have.

 

[VoidCat]

I'm wondering whether trans people might do the same thing among themselves

Some trans people do compare scars.

 

[ChristineM]

Tagging @Shadow Wolf. Cuz I want to see if there's an equivilant to this with assigned male at birth transfolk.
So as yall know Im trans. Nonbinary to be exact assigned female at birth. I plan on medically transitioning soon. As part of that I have to go to therapy. So I've just been thinking up trans related stuff that bothers me to bring up with the therapist. Cuz while my gender hasn't caused many issues I do feel I should have at least one session venting such frustration. And i been thinking of one thing that really bothers me but I can't for the life of me figure out why folk think this is ok. This has happened to me 3 times by this point. Basically I bind my chest and my tits look flat right? Well then i go talk to a group of mostly ciswomen and for some reason someone feels it's ok to touch my chest and basically feel me up and point out how flat it is. I get i just performed the magic trick of teetus deletus and the person is probably surprised but like no dont touch my chest without asking. I might be ok with someone touching there and seeing how flat my chest is from binding if we were close and someone asked. But all three times no one asked. They just touched. Then im just like what the hell? Like why would someone think it's ok to just randomly touch someone's breast area even if it is under binding material without asking?


Im just venting here if anyone wants to comment feel free. I just wanted to vent somewhere about this.

You need a new tre shirt.

 

[JDMS]

In general, I despise those who think that it is appropriate to touch other people without express permission. Even as a baby I would scream if anyone but my mother touched me. Luckily for me, though, these days I suppose I'm large and unfriendly-looking enough that people don't attempt it anymore.

I'm sorry that people are repeatedly violating your personal space, @VoidCat. Maybe you should cover yourself in spikes like storefronts have to keep birds off of the roof... or, you could eat those ants that make poison dart frogs poisonous. Okay, maybe that's not how it works, but one can wish, right?