Friends!

[libre]

Occasionally I'll run across a person, and I get an impression... "You might be weird, like me." And maybe they'll think the same of me... And there's the nervous dance one eccentric does to figure out if they're with another eccentric... Loosen up... Take a risk... "Well, I do this very odd thing." Maybe they'll think that's cool(you hold your breath and wait for the response)... And once and awhile, they say "Me too!" And oh, the joy!

I am so glad that I'm not the only one who does this hahaha

 

[Debater Slayer]

I am so glad that I'm not the only one who does this hahaha

Being able to fly away if things get too awkward should be a plus.

 

[Debater Slayer]

Up until several years ago, I used to have no close friends offline except for one. I have since formed a decently sized social circle and a closer but smaller one, albeit not without significant effort. Given how much my closer friends and I mean to each other and how positively we have affected each other's lives, I'm immensely thankful to have them. I know what having almost no friends is like, and I wouldn't want to experience it long-term ever again.

 

[JustGeorge]

Up until several years ago, I used to have no close friends offline except for one. I have since formed a decently sized social circle and a closer but smaller one, albeit not without significant effort. Given how much my closer friends and I mean to each other and how positively we have affected each other's lives, I'm immensely thankful to have them. I know what having almost no friends is like, and I wouldn't want to experience it long-term ever again.

How did you expand your real life social circle?

 

[JustGeorge]

If you could hang out with your friends more often, what kinds of activities do you see all of you enjoying?

Before life became complicated, my husband and two friends we had(one remains a frequent presence) used to do 'religious tours'. We'd go to random religious and natural sites, sometimes just visiting, other times, more structured. We'd do religious observations in our home, too. For awhile, we did a presentation once a week(on religious topics).

Yeah, I'm weird.

 

[Debater Slayer]

How did you expand your real life social circle?

My social circle in general, including people I'm not really close to? Mainly by meeting people at university, during military service, and via the friends and acquaintances I met in either.

My social circle as in my closer friends and people I can actually be myself with? Mainly via the internet. I have met almost all of my close friends either this way or through friends I met from the internet.

I belong to a tiny minority where I live and have to keep significant parts of who I am to myself with most people, so despite being extroverted and having little issue talking to many people in many different settings, it's much harder to come by people who would be suitable as friends beyond a casual level. This is why it took significant effort for me to have as many closer friends as I do now.

 

[Debater Slayer]

Before life became complicated, my husband and two friends we had(one remains a frequent presence) used to do 'religious tours'. We'd go to random religious and natural sites, sometimes just visiting, other times, more structured. We'd do religious observations in our home, too. For awhile, we did a presentation once a week(on religious topics).

Yeah, I'm weird.

That sounds like a great time! I guess I might be weird too for finding it interesting—and I have no problem with that.

 

[JustGeorge]

My social circle in general, including people I'm not really close to? Mainly by meeting people at university, during military service, and via the friends and acquaintances I met in either.

My social circle as in my closer friends and people I can actually be myself with? Mainly via the internet. I have met almost all of my close friends either this way or through friends I met from the internet.

I belong to a tiny minority where I live and have to keep significant parts of who I am to myself with most people, so despite being extroverted and having little issue talking to many people in many different settings, it's much harder to come by people who would be suitable as friends beyond a casual level. This is why it took significant effort for me to have as many closer friends as I do now.

I imagine just having the shared experience of having to keep so much quiet causes a bit of bonding in itself...

Do you find it easy to stay in touch with folks?

 

[JustGeorge]

That sounds like a great time! I guess I'm might be weird too for finding it interesting—and I have no problem with that.

I have a favored memory of a friend doing a presentation on ritual purity, and she included the Islamic way of doing things(for which the name now escapes me). She gave us all bowls to try it out for ourselves....

I don't know how, but another friend got so much water EVERYWHERE you'd think he'd been given a bathtub, not a bowl. It perplexed my husband and I(who had to clean all the water up).

 

[Debater Slayer]

I imagine just having the shared experience of having to keep so much quiet causes a bit of bonding in itself...

It does, but from what my friends and I have seen in certain online communities that bond over that exact experience, there is so much more to being compatible with someone as a friend than a shared worldview or experience. Sometimes nasty drama besets a subset of those communities despite the common factors, whether due to clashing personality traits or other issues (e.g., immaturity and poor emotional discipline, both of which are not helped by the fact that so many in those communities are young adults in difficult situations that understandably engender anger and bitterness).

Do you find it easy to stay in touch with folks?

Usually, yes, and when I don't, my lack of contact doesn't tend to last long—my closer friends and I don't disappear on each other for months on end (we would if an emergency forced us to, I guess), for example, because either party checks in on the other during that time.

I don't find friendships fulfilling when someone routinely doesn't initiate contact for months or longer on end; I see friendships as a two-way street in that regard. I understand going that long without checking in if there's an emergency or some other extraordinary situation, but if someone does it as a habit, I know we won't be compatible as closer friends. It takes a few seconds to send a quick, "Hi! How are you?" and it lets the other person know that you at least thought about them. If someone doesn't want to do that much for months and explains as much when I directly ask about it, I know our preferences and communication styles are incompatible and move on.

 

[Debater Slayer]

I have a favored memory of a friend doing a presentation on ritual purity, and she included the Islamic way of doing things(for which the name now escapes me).

Ablution/wudu'?

She gave us all bowls to try it out for ourselves....

I don't know how, but another friend got so much water EVERYWHERE you'd think he'd been given a bathtub, not a bowl. It perplexed my husband and I(who had to clean all the water up).

Good thing the cats didn't get splashed, I guess!

 

[JustGeorge]

It does, but from what my friends and I have seen in certain online communities that bond over that exact experience, there is so much more to being compatible with someone as a friend than a shared worldview or experience. Sometimes nasty drama besets a subset of those communities despite the common factors, whether due to clashing personality traits or other issues (e.g., immaturity and poor emotional discipline, both of which are not helped by the fact that so many in those communities are young adults in difficult situations that understandably engender anger and bitterness).

Good points.

Usually, yes, and when I don't, my lack of contact doesn't tend to last long—my closer friends and I don't disappear on each other for months on end (we would if an emergency forced us to, I guess), for example, because either party checks in on the other during that time.

I don't find friendships fulfilling when someone routinely doesn't initiate contact for months or longer on end; I see friendships as a two-way street in that regard. I understand going that long without checking in if there's an emergency or some other extraordinary situation, but if someone does it as a habit, I know we won't be compatible as closer friends. It takes a few seconds to send a quick, "Hi! How are you?" and it lets the other person know that you at least thought about them. If someone doesn't want to do that much for months and explains as much when I directly ask about it, I know our preferences and communication styles are incompatible and move on.

You know, social rules have always confused the mess out of me. When I was young, you called who ever you wanted when ever you wanted(provided they weren't sleeping), and it was fine. Then texting got mixed into things, and little by little, it all changed... Calling randomly is sometimes viewed as intrusive, and it seems there's limits on texts, too...

I think there should be instruction manuals put out every few years...

Ablution/wudu'?

That sounds right!

Good thing the cats didn't get splashed, I guess!

I'm sure they did... He got water EVERYWHERE!

 

[Debater Slayer]

Good points.

You know, social rules have always confused the mess out of me. When I was young, you called who ever you wanted when ever you wanted(provided they weren't sleeping), and it was fine. Then texting got mixed into things, and little by little, it all changed... Calling randomly is sometimes viewed as intrusive, and it seems there's limits on texts, too...

I think there should be instruction manuals put out every few years...

Yeah, it's been the same, in my experience. I have a friend who likes calling the rest of the friend group when any of us says something in the group chat that indicates we're experiencing some difficulty (e.g., needing to go to the doctor). We appreciate the way he expresses his concern. Most prefer texting and voice messages, though, and there's more or less an unspoken rule of thumb that calls are usually to be reserved for absolute necessity or times when we're outside together and wouldn't be able to text when, say, someone temporarily leaves to buy something.

I don't text people late at night or during school/work hours unless I know they have their phones on silent, which most of them do.

That sounds right!

I'm sure they did... He got water EVERYWHERE!

Do any of them like or at least tolerate water without complaining much?

 

[We Never Know]

No, not the TV series. I'm talking about your friendships, how you've formed them, what you enjoy the most about them, and anything else related to them.

I'm interested in a lot of abstract and theoretical subjects, such as philosophy and culture, but I'm also immensely interested in people, especially my social circle. I don't mean in terms of gossip or intrusion into details about others' lives that they wish to keep private; I mean in terms of their interests, the stories they tell, their different personalities and worldviews, their experiences, etc. I relish being in the company of others and listening to them talk about what matters to them, why it does, how they see the world, and the experiences they have had, among many other things.

What is your friend circle like? Are some closer than others? How did you meet the closer ones, if any are closer than the rest?

My.very close friends circle is about this size "o".
My good friends circle is about this size "O"

IMO some people confuse friend and acquaintance....

"A friend is someone with whom we have a deep emotional bond, trust, and loyalty. They provide us with support, share common interests and activities, and play a significant role in our lives. On the other hand, an acquaintance is someone we know casually, with limited interaction and shared experiences"

Understanding the Difference: Friends and Acquaintances Explained | Everyday Speech

Understanding the Difference: Friends and Acquaintances Explained Understanding the Difference: Friends and Acquaintances Explained Have you ever wondered about the difference between friends and acquaintances? Understanding this distinction is crucial for our social and emotional well-being. In...

everydayspeech.com

 

[Debater Slayer]

My.very close friends circle is about this size "o".
My good friends circle is about this size "O"

Do you get to hang out with them often? How did you meet the closest ones?

IMO some people confuse friend and acquaintance....

"A friend is someone with whom we have a deep emotional bond, trust, and loyalty. They provide us with support, share common interests and activities, and play a significant role in our lives. On the other hand, an acquaintance is someone we know casually, with limited interaction and shared experiences"

Understanding the Difference: Friends and Acquaintances Explained | Everyday Speech

Understanding the Difference: Friends and Acquaintances Explained Understanding the Difference: Friends and Acquaintances Explained Have you ever wondered about the difference between friends and acquaintances? Understanding this distinction is crucial for our social and emotional well-being. In...

everydayspeech.com

Yeah, I find some people's definitions of what constitutes a friend too broad for me, but to each their own, I guess.

 

[JustGeorge]

Yeah, it's been the same, in my experience. I have a friend who likes calling the rest of the friend group when any of us says something in the group chat that indicates we're experiencing some difficulty (e.g., needing to go to the doctor). We appreciate the way he expresses his concern. Most prefer texting and voice messages, though, and there's more or less an unspoken rule of thumb that calls are usually to be reserved for absolute necessity or times when we're outside together and wouldn't be able to text when, say, someone temporarily leaves to buy something.

Interesting how everything changes...

I wonder how it was for the folks that saw the home telephone become a thing.

I don't text people late at night or during school/work hours unless I know they have their phones on silent, which most of them do.

My phone's really hard to text on... I only do short texts; if someone wants something complex, they'll have to call or hit me up on Discord.

Do any of them like or at least tolerate water without complaining much?

Nope. But they're all pretty aware of personalities, and I'm sure none of them were a bit surprised.

 

[We Never Know]

Do you get to hang out with them often? How did you meet the closest ones?



Yeah, I find some people's definitions of what constitutes a friend too broad for me, but to each their own, I guess.

My very close friends circle is about this size "o".

Known most for many years. Grew up with some since we were kids and shared tough life experiences with some of the others.


My good friends circle is about this size "O"

Met most of these in various ways along my way through life and/or through other friends

 

[☆Dreamwind☆]

At present, I don't really have any outside of a few internet peeps.