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Your tolerance towards people in depression

Discussion in 'General Debates' started by ametist, Feb 26, 2014.

  1. ametist

    ametist Active Member

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    What is your tolerance level towards someone who is in depression and trying to engage in anyone and anything aggressively and seeking attention negatively. How do you treat them, what do you do when you meet one of those people?
    How often do you think you are meeting these people here and outside?
     
  2. bobhikes

    bobhikes AntiRepublican
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    Curious as to what you are actually looking for.

    My tolerance would be dependent on my relationship.
    Friends and Family I would try to help to the point of interceding if I had to.
    Close aquaintances and Coworkers I would try to help till they resisted.
    All others I would offer advise and move on.

    I don't meet these people all that often. I would say there are probably 2 people which I tried to help with some success that would meet your discription. It is not an easy task and takes a lot of time and work. Which is why it is dependent on my relationship.
     
  3. ametist

    ametist Active Member

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    Thanks for answering. :) I ask because I find myself weak in this aspect and I feel people as described in op are increasing everywhere so I want to improve myself reading from others' ideas and thoughts.
     
  4. Caladan

    Caladan Agnostic Pantheist

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    Relatively I'm considered patient in this regard, but everyone has their limits. Even so, I usually try a diplomatic approach first.
    For people who believe that they display this behavior I suggest to be more mindful of the body language of people or certain words they use which can indicate that their private space is being invaded.
     
  5. The Sum of Awe

    The Sum of Awe Brought to you by the moment that spacetime began.

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    I do my best to be patient but I often ended up losing it when they are seeking advice while not actually wanting to move on.
     
  6. Kerr

    Kerr Well-Known Member

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    I consider depression an illness, like cancer but in the mind rather then the body. At least thats what I have felt like during my years of darkness. While I dont know if I had a depression or not, it has given me enough compassion to know what it can be like. So I wouldnt judge them. I would try and treat them well and with kindness, let them know I care. Probably try and cheer them up, but thats mainly due to instinct rather then believing that it actually helps (I want people to feel well). As for what I would do, as in actual actions rather then guidelines, it depends on the person in question.

    I dont know how often I meet them. Depression isnt always visible. So probably more then I would like. Then again, I would prefer if depression didnt exist. No one deserves living in that dark place.
     
    #6 Kerr, Feb 26, 2014
    Last edited: Feb 26, 2014
  7. Kilgore Trout

    Kilgore Trout Misanthropic Humanist

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    It's possible that you're confusing depression with someone who is obnoxious, self-destructive, and/or simply immature.
     
  8. Caladan

    Caladan Agnostic Pantheist

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    Yes there is that too. Which does strike my logic cords. :p
     
  9. StarryNightshade

    StarryNightshade Aspiring Progressive Orthodox Jew
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    I don't think what you described is how most people who are depressed really are. Like Kilgore Trout said, it's more akin to someone who is straight up obnoxious.

    However, in general, I simply try to be compassionate and understanding.
     
  10. ametist

    ametist Active Member

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    There types of depression and in some people try to harm themselves and others. You can see wikipedia and other sources. Of course it is easy to feel sympathy to anyone a little over sad or gloomy. Everyone would easily offer a help to them. Thats why I clarified the certain attitude in my post. Anyway.
     
  11. dawny0826

    dawny0826 Mother Heathen

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    The average person is arrogant if they think they're wise enough to accurately diagnose mental health ailments in all their forms.

    Though it's not outlandish to suspect depression in someone (and quite possibly be correct in their assumption), the lay person is certainly not obligated to handle depression in another person in a way that's effective from a clinical standpoint.

    Someone who is suffering from depression must want to to help themselves and has to seek such help from a professional resource if they are serious about getting the help that they need and deserve.

    Though I feel strongly that compassion and understanding can go along way, I'm not a mental health professional.
     
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  12. Penumbra

    Penumbra Veteran Member
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    I have sympathy for people that are depressed and friendly, and am willing to talk to them or help them how I can since I've had similar periods (although if it's serious then professional help is probably better since I don't know anything), but in practice I have low tolerance for people that are acting out of anger or negativity regardless of the reasons.

    I don't really say anything mean to them; I'm polite to them but I just don't keep people in my life that are negative or aggressive to me, because I don't have time to deal with that. I'm just naturally dismissive towards them, which tends to be exactly what they don't want, since they often want attention and drama.
     
  13. Amechania

    Amechania Daimona of the Helpless

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    I think I know the type. My advice would be to get your money up front and use a third party for delivery.
     
  14. Aquitaine

    Aquitaine Well-Known Member

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    In my limited experience, I generally haven't seen unusual levels of aggression in people who're suffering a depressive episode. Long-term isolation and withdrawel appear to be much more of what happens.

    But hey, I'm only going off limited experience. :shrug:
     
  15. Saint Frankenstein

    Saint Frankenstein Ov Fire and the Void
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    Those people are attention whores and emotional vampires. I usually stop talking to them or tell them off when it becomes apparent. I will try to give advice to someone who is having problems, but I'm not your therapist. I have my own problems with severe depression and anger issues.
     
  16. Monk Of Reason

    Monk Of Reason ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

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    You have to educate yourself on what depression is and it also depends where it is coming from. There is perfectly rational and normal reasons to be affected by depression that have nothing to do with a mental disorder.

    Then there are cases where people have chronic depression and its caused by chemical imbalances in the brain.

    And then there are other underlaying causes of depression such as Manic depressive bi-polar disorders that can drastically affect a person's mood and personality.
     
  17. psychoslice

    psychoslice Veteran Member

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    People who suffer from clinical depression are not making it up, if you never had clinical depression, then your lucky.
     
  18. NobodyYouKnow

    NobodyYouKnow Misanthropist

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    I try to be as tolerant and helpful as I can (I also have depression and can relate).

    Because I also have depression, I can be very empathetic, but I can only help them up to a point (I have to help myself also). If they become too 'clingy' or too 'needy', the only help I can give them, is referral to a professional who is more helpful than I (I just get overwhelmed too easily).

    I have found others have little sympathy towards my depression though. Just yesterday (after coming out of hospital from a stress-related episode), the doctor told me to get full bed-rest for a few days and I was taking his advice...when my family 'phoned me up, wanting me to immediately do this and that for them...

    When I told them 'no way'....when I told them I had just come out of hospital, they went; 'there's nothing wrong with you, you are just very lazy' and 'why are you 'sick' all the time? you are just doing it to get attention' and 'snap out of it and do what ever we tell you to'....I heard the words of my doctor ringing in my ears...and I said 'you know what? get effed. Yes, you all heard me, just eff off'. They went 'if you really want this, we'll never speak to you again'. I am like 'good! now just eff off' and I hung up on them.

    So, it matters not what other people think about my depression. I have reached the realisation ages ago, that they will never understand it and I am the one who has to live with it, so apart from paid professionals who actually do have my best interests at heart, I am pretty much on my own with it.
     
    #18 NobodyYouKnow, Mar 1, 2014
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2014
  19. NobodyYouKnow

    NobodyYouKnow Misanthropist

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    In postscript to the above, I also suffer with contributing Asperger's Disorder.

    There are positives and negatives with my brain being totally unable to filter out or sort out any external stimuli (and why I keep myself locked away in my room, mostly).

    The positive side, is that I am blessed with an eidetic memory for any and all things random or trivial.

    The negative side, is that constant sensory bombardment for even brief periods of time, is enough to cause panic attacks and GAD (along with my depression) and can even cause seizures occasionally. I just cannot take 'everything all in at once' and the pressure builds up over time until my head feels like it's going to explode - literally....

    The positive side, is that I am an 'instant Yogi' because of it and meditation and focused awareness becomes so easy peasy (I have had to do that to survive, basically) but that gets me by only so far....there are those times when my biology or mind just totally overrides the system (and then, I wind up in hospital).

    The negative side is that my reaction towards all those bright, hospital lights always end up with the doctors testing me for meningitis. lol

    I am what's known as a 'hyper sensitive' and it can be the biggest blessing and the worst curse.

    I am often called a 'hypochondriac' or even an 'attention seeker' and coming from a family where 'keeping a stiff upper-lip' is the moral code, that's pretty difficult to do.

    Positive side - the sex is amazing
    Negative side - so are all the gastro-intestinal upsets.
     
    #19 NobodyYouKnow, Mar 1, 2014
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2014
  20. psychoslice

    psychoslice Veteran Member

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    I have mental illness, and the people I have meet over the years who told me its all on my mind, and to get over it, I could have punched some sense into them, but I'm not the aggressive kind, lucky for them.
     
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