Your children around transgender classmates

[Jumi]

However the mother may be in denial

There are plenty of clueless mothers too.

 

[Twilight Hue]

What arbitrary age is enough, if you break someone's mind as a child, what age would you allow them to start to recover their own identity?

I would go with the established legal age of adulthood. Typically 18 although some might consider 21 more appropriate.

 

[columbus]

That being said, no child should be forced to refer to another child as their "preferred pronoun" rather than the pronoun decided by their biology.

Possibly the worst feature of revealed religions, like Mormonism and Christianity and Islam, is the tendency to encourage meanness and primitive ethics among their adherents.
Tom

 

[Jumi]

I would go with the established legal age of adulthood. Typically 18 although some might consider 21 more appropriate.

If people before 18 or 21 didn't think about sex, that would be a decent idea.

 

[Jumi]

That being said, no child should be forced to refer to another child as their "preferred pronoun" rather than the pronoun decided by their biology.

Wow, sounds like very traumatizing to refer to someone with a pronoun as a way of respecting who they are.

 

[Skwim]

There's a very interesting show on The Learning Channel, TLC, about a young boy who has struggled with gender dysphoria almost all his life that's called I Am Jazz.

From the Wikipedia article on her:

Jazz Jennings, a South Florida teen, was assigned male at birth. Aged 4, Jennings was diagnosed with gender dysphoria in childhood, making her one of the youngest publicly documented people to be identified as gender dysphoric. Her parents, Greg and Jeanette, decided to support her female gender identity by her fifth birthday. Jazz has been in the spotlight since 2007, when at age 6, she was interviewed by Barbara Walters to discuss her gender identity. She participated in follow-up interviews, launched a foundation, and co-wrote a book, also called I Am Jazz. She has also posted videos about her life on YouTube.

I Am Jazz focuses on the "Jennings" family (the surname "Jennings" is a pseudonym, and any reference to the family's exact location is obscured)] and their day-to-day lives. Jazz, who was about to enter high school when the series started in 2015, grapples with the usual teen angst in addition to her own challenges as a transgender girl. Her family, which includes her three siblings, parents and grandparents, also talk about their experiences.​

As described on her website:

"Meet Jazz Jennings! Although born male, Jazz is a transgender female and has been living as a girl since kindergarten. Parents Jeanette and Greg have spent the years finding doctors to treat their daughter, while fighting the discrimination and misconceptions associated with what it means to be transgender. But, now that Jazz is 14, she is on the brink of the biggest challenge of her life: high school.

Not only does Jazz face the normal struggles of a 14 year-old girl; boy crazy friends, mood swings, and body image issues, she must also contend with the unique challenges of being a transgender girl. Jazz is on a regimen of hormone therapy so that she can look and develop like the other girls in her school. But, Jazz struggles with comparing herself, and the lagging pace of her breast development to her friends.

In four short years, Jeanette and Greg's youngest daughter will be a candidate for gender reassignment surgery. With that decision on the horizon, they must first survive four years of High School. With unconditional love and humor this close-knit family works together to face the many challenges ahead.

​

In short, she is a bright, articulate, and brave girl who is simply trying to find her place in life.

​

The next episode is on January 29, 2019. Give it a look.

.​

 

[Prestor John]

Possibly the worst feature of revealed religions, like Mormonism and Christianity and Islam, is the tendency to encourage meanness and primitive ethics among their adherents.
Tom

Forcing someone to say something they do not believe is "mean" and "primitive".

I assume you hate the "revealed" concept of the First Amendment too?

 

[ChristineM]

Possibly the worst feature of revealed religions, like Mormonism and Christianity and Islam, is the tendency to encourage meanness and primitive ethics among their adherents.
Tom

Having been the target of such meanness, poor moral and ethical values as a child i can fully endorse your statement.

 

[Jainarayan]

I would go with the established legal age of adulthood. Typically 18 although some might consider 21 more appropriate.

My best friend growing up is now a transwoman (if that's the correct terminology for male-female... I can never keep up), and knew from when we were early teens. We were 17 and I clearly remember going back "home" (Newark NJ, after I moved away) to visit and go shopping with her downtown for a New Year's Eve outfit. She had already, for a couple of years, been undergoing hormone treatments. She had even gone to Johns Hopkins for psychological counseling as a teen. Until the medical doctors and psychologists determined she was indeed a candidate to transition, she was in torture. I myself was younger than 13 when I started realizing I liked boys, I couldn't keep my eyes off them as they started becoming men. So yeah, for the most part young children know their minds and bodies.

 

[Twilight Hue]

Possibly the worst feature of revealed religions, like Mormonism and Christianity and Islam, is the tendency to encourage meanness and primitive ethics among their adherents.
Tom

The worst part of it all is they get it entirely from unsubstantiated books.

 

[FirstandAmistad]

I'll preface the following comments with the fact that I'm not trans and my statements are from what I've gathered from having a family member and a friend who are.

I would go with the established legal age of adulthood. Typically 18 although some might consider 21 more appropriate.

There are already conventions in place in many places to ensure that those under 18 get approved by a psychologist to make sure that the person is indeed suffering with their personal identity. Also, please consider that those who are already adults have already gone through puberty and the sex hormones of their biological sex have already made them look more masculine/feminine, which is almost certainly going to cause them further upset in the future. A trans person who begins their transition earlier in life will likely look more like a cis person that matches their gender identity, and less likely to be targeted by inconsiderate people who lack empathy for their fellow humans.

You don't have to understand or even believe in gender identity. But I feel like it should be obvious that we should treat others with respect. It's not difficult to use a person's preferred pronoun and affirm them as a human being above all else.

If people before 18 or 21 didn't think about sex, that would be a decent idea.

The only problem here is that being trans doesn't really have much to do with sexuality, but rather personal identity.

 

[LiveBetterLife]

Since transgender children are far more likely to get raped than normal children, I would tell my children not to associate with transgender children and if they have to interact with them, I would tell them to ridicule and degrade them.

 

[LiveBetterLife]

If people before 18 or 21 didn't think about sex, that would be a decent idea.

Just like people under 18 and 21 don't think about drugs or alcohol.

 

[FirstandAmistad]

Since transgender children are far more likely to get raped than normal children, I would tell my children not to associate with transgender children and if they have to interact with them, I would tell them to ridicule and degrade them.

This is what I meant when I said they were likely to "be targeted by inconsiderate people who lack empathy for their fellow humans."

I feel deeply sorry for your children, if you have them. And if you don't, I hope you learn to treat people with basic human decency before you do.

 

[LiveBetterLife]

This is what I meant when I said they were likely to "be targeted by inconsiderate people who lack empathy for their fellow humans."

I feel deeply sorry for your children, if you have them. And if you don't, I hope you learn to treat people with basic human decency before you do.

Very much on the contrary.

I think parents who encourage their children to dress and behave like freaks are the ones who lack empathy.

It's not hard to raise a child properly and in a way that is likely to mitigate the potential for them to experience harm and maximize their potential to succeed.

The idea of an adult encouraging a child to experiment with their sexual identity or gender identity is sick and repugnant at best and a form of criminal sexualization at worst. It's practically child abuse.

Raising and encouraging a child to behave and be normal is the best way to go in every circumstance.

 

[FirstandAmistad]

Very much on the contrary.

I think parents who encourage their children to dress and behave like freaks are the ones who lack empathy.

It's not hard to raise a child properly and in a way that is likely to mitigate the potential for them to experience harm and maximize their potential to succeed.

The idea of an adult encouraging a child to experiment with their sexual identity or gender identity is sick and repugnant at best and a form of criminal sexualization at worst. It's practically child abuse.

Raising and encouraging a child to behave and be normal is the best way to go in every circumstance.

I don't know how you could possibly believe that encouraging your children to mock and degrade others is compassionate. An adult encouraging such hatred and intolerance is literally child abuse, and you could also probably be legally found complicit in bullying (and rightfully so). You don't need to understand or believe gender identity, but showing basic respect for your fellow humans shouldn't be such a difficult challenge for you. We're all people, first and foremost, regardless of race, gender, sexuality, religion, political beliefs, etc. I don't know what your religious beliefs are, but I seriously doubt they encourage you to be so hateful.

Your hatred is very misplaced. I hope you learn to "Live a Better Life".

 

[columbus]

Since transgender children are far more likely to get raped than normal children, I would tell my children not to associate with transgender children and if they have to interact with them, I would tell them to ridicule and degrade them.

Since a particular category of young people are at greater risk of physical abuse, it's OK to verbally and psychologically abuse them?

Good Lord, wherever did you learn ethics like that?
Tom

 

[NewGuyOnTheBlock]

So, if a boy decides to be a girl in a prepubescent classroom, do you think there is any negative impact on the developing mind of a child being taught to call he/him her/she and accept it as nothing disordered or unhealthy?

I think this is less relevant than the well being of a child who believes they are transgender. More is "not" known than "is" known about this phenomenon. I think we are too quick to accept such claims. But because there is enough evidence to suggest that there are such conditions, they shouldn't be offhandedly dismissed either. I think it is much more complex than "how one feels inside" and I hope for more objective criteria to separate those who may be suffering from other psychological/identity issues from those who truly are transgender.

As to the OP question, no. I fail to see any harm. I would tell my child, "Sometimes this is the case, but I don't think it is always the case just because someone says so. But I don't know that for sure. So until we know, I think it is best to be very nice to that person and treat them as they want to be treated."

Should "she" use the girl's room?

Nope. Based primarily on the answer above.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Nope. Based primarily on the answer above.

I don't find your reasoning to be a good justification to deny all kids presenting with gender dysphoria access to the correct facilities. Yes, there are cases where they are not actually trans but obviously there's actual trans people, as you admit. So why hurt the actual trans people? We know that trans people pose very little risk to cis people. It's almost always cis people harassing and violating trans people in restrooms than the other way around (yes, including cis women harassing and assaulting trans women). That in mind, it makes more sense to let them use the facilities of their stated gender unless there is an objective reason not to. People should be treated as individuals. We are talking about kids and not adults, so I'm not sure what harm people are expecting from this. It's actually extremely perverse because it seems that adults are projecting perverted sexual intentions onto kids, which wouldn't even have a concept of such things. Adults are the messed up ones in this world, not children.

 

[Curious George]

I think this is less relevant than the well being of a child who believes they are transgender. More is "not" known than "is" known about this phenomenon. I think we are too quick to accept such claims. But because there is enough evidence to suggest that there are such conditions, they shouldn't be offhandedly dismissed either. I think it is much more complex than "how one feels inside" and I hope for more objective criteria to separate those who may be suffering from other psychological/identity issues from those who truly are transgender.

As to the OP question, no. I fail to see any harm. I would tell my child, "Sometimes this is the case, but I don't think it is always the case just because someone says so. But I don't know that for sure. So until we know, I think it is best to be very nice to that person and treat them as they want to be treated."

Agree

Nope. Based primarily on the answer above.

Disagree.
In fact, I fail to see the problem with letting especially prepubescent children use whatever restroom they want.