Would You Tell Your Child?

[SalixIncendium]

I had an episode Wednesday that ultimately led to me being admitted into the hospital. After several tests and scans, doctors concluded that I'd had a TIA (transient ischemic attack) also known as a mini-stroke, and that I've had previous TIAs as they observed small infarcts on my brain MRI indicating such. They didn't find any fresh infarctions, but I did have stroke-like symptoms that day. I've since been released with a cocktail of new meds including blood thinners and a cholesterol reducer to prevent a major stroke and am pretty much back to 'normal.'

I'm struggling with whether or not to tell my 19 year old daughter about this. I don't want to cause her undue worry, but I feel she should probably know what's going on with me.

If this was your dad, would you want to know?

If this happened to you, would you tell your kid(s)?

 

[Rival]

You should tell her, in my opinion. It's better she knows what's going on incase she needs to help in the future.

 

[SalixIncendium]

I should probably mention that she lives nearly two hours away from me, so her ability to help in the instance of a TIA or stroke would be limited.

 

[wandering peacefully]

I had an episode Wednesday that ultimately led to me being admitted into the hospital. After several tests and scans, doctors concluded that I'd had a TIA (transient ischemic attack) also known as a mini-stroke, and that I've had previous TIAs as they observed small infarcts on my brain MRI indicating such. They didn't find any fresh infarctions, but I did have stroke-like symptoms that day. I've since been released with a cocktail of new meds including blood thinners and a cholesterol reducer to prevent a major stroke and am pretty much back to 'normal.'

I'm struggling with whether or not to tell my 19 year old daughter about this. I don't want to cause her undue worry, but I feel she should probably know what's going on with me.

If this was your dad, would you want to know?

If this happened to you, would you tell your kid(s)?

19 is old enough to deal with your heath issue I think. Although, if it isn't serious and is under control with meds, it's probably okay not to say anything.

 

[Rival]

I should probably mention that she lives nearly two hours away from me, so her ability to help in the instance of a TIA or stroke would be limited.

Even though you guys can't help, weren't you glad I told you about my problem (in the staff area, I mean)? I think it's not worth keeping something like this a secret. At least if something does occur, it won't be a shock to her and she'll have some idea what's going on.

 

[Estro Felino]

I guess she has the right to know.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

I HATE that my mom doesn't share such things. She has the same concerns about creating worry, but it does just that because it makes me worried she's just going to suddenly drop over dead, unexpectedly to me.

 

[exchemist]

I had an episode Wednesday that ultimately led to me being admitted into the hospital. After several tests and scans, doctors concluded that I'd had a TIA (transient ischemic attack) also known as a mini-stroke, and that I've had previous TIAs as they observed small infarcts on my brain MRI indicating such. They didn't find any fresh infarctions, but I did have stroke-like symptoms that day. I've since been released with a cocktail of new meds including blood thinners and a cholesterol reducer to prevent a major stroke and am pretty much back to 'normal.'

I'm struggling with whether or not to tell my 19 year old daughter about this. I don't want to cause her undue worry, but I feel she should probably know what's going on with me.

If this was your dad, would you want to know?

If this happened to you, would you tell your kid(s)?

Yup, best to tell people close to you or they may feel hurt not to have known. Especially as you have been stabilised, so you can reassure everyone there's no reason to expect a major problem.

I remember being hurt to find out my father had suffered from depression, which both parents had covered up. All of us kids felt aggrieved, as if we'd known we could have made more allowances for some of the odd behaviour.

But you may want to make it clear that everything is "business as usual", to avoid people being anxious whether to mollycoddle you or not. Not being sure how to respond can make things stilted and awkward.

 

[Stanyon]

Just tell her the truth, if she was very young all she would need to know is that you were sick. Also I would say it would be wise to inform her of any medications you might be on and the possible side effects, I've known people that have said and done things they would not have said or done had they not been on the medications they were on and there may come a time when she will have to provide that information.

 

[Laika]

I had an episode Wednesday that ultimately led to me being admitted into the hospital. After several tests and scans, doctors concluded that I'd had a TIA (transient ischemic attack) also known as a mini-stroke, and that I've had previous TIAs as they observed small infarcts on my brain MRI indicating such. They didn't find any fresh infarctions, but I did have stroke-like symptoms that day. I've since been released with a cocktail of new meds including blood thinners and a cholesterol reducer to prevent a major stroke and am pretty much back to 'normal.'

I'm struggling with whether or not to tell my 19 year old daughter about this. I don't want to cause her undue worry, but I feel she should probably know what's going on with me.

If this was your dad, would you want to know?

If this happened to you, would you tell your kid(s)?

You can tell her, maybe by dropping it in to the conversation when you are ready. Honestly, if you don't make a big deal of it, she probably won't either. 19 is probably old enough to be able to handle it.

 

[SomeRandom]

I had an episode Wednesday that ultimately led to me being admitted into the hospital. After several tests and scans, doctors concluded that I'd had a TIA (transient ischemic attack) also known as a mini-stroke, and that I've had previous TIAs as they observed small infarcts on my brain MRI indicating such. They didn't find any fresh infarctions, but I did have stroke-like symptoms that day. I've since been released with a cocktail of new meds including blood thinners and a cholesterol reducer to prevent a major stroke and am pretty much back to 'normal.'

I'm struggling with whether or not to tell my 19 year old daughter about this. I don't want to cause her undue worry, but I feel she should probably know what's going on with me.

If this was your dad, would you want to know?

If this happened to you, would you tell your kid(s)?

I'm probably biased as my father passed when I was just shy of 16, but a 19 year old should be well equipped to handle the situation.

 

[Rival]

I'm not aware that the issue here is her age. Obviously a 19 year old is alright to take this, in my opinion.

Unless I'm missing something?

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Yup, best to tell people close to you or they may feel hurt not to have known. Especially as you have been stabilised, so you can reassure everyone there's no reason to expect a major problem.

I remember being hurt to find out my father had suffered from depression, which both parents had covered up. All of us kids felt aggrieved, as if we'd known we could have made more allowances for some of the odd behaviour.

But you may want to make it clear that everything is "business as usual", to avoid people being anxious whether to mollycoddle you or not. Not being sure how to respond can make things stilted and awkward.

To build on this, being direct, honest, specific, and clear is best. Beating around the bush, euphemisms, or trying to downplay things is awkward, adds needless stress, and may not be interpreted well or as intended.

 

[SalixIncendium]

I'm not aware that the issue here is her age. Obviously a 19 year old is alright to take this, in my opinion.

Unless I'm missing something?

Nope. She's mature enough to deal with any adult situations. I'd be asking the same question if she was in her 30s.

 

[Revoltingest]

I'd tell me spawn.

 

[BSM1]

Of course tell her, No matter how she reacts you don't want her thinking you didn't trust her, or even worse. care enough for her to tell her the truth.

 

[Terry Sampson]

• Tell her, but ...
  • First, think through how you yourself feel and what you yourself think about your condition.
  • Then think through what you want from and for her from here on out.
    
    • Your daughter will, no doubt, have her own feelings and thoughts, which you cannot control.
    • But your feelings and thoughts may open the door to a new "level" of communication between you and her, which will--no doubt--enhance the bond between you, ... unless, of course, you get into shouting match over your expectations from each other.
    • You may be able "to nudge" her by your words, towards optimism and hope (or "woe-is-us" despair).
    • At 19, she no doubt has learned and established basic "rules and patterns" for dealing with "undesirable circumstances." This is your chance to learn from her, if her ways are better than yours or her chance to learn from you, if yours are better than hers.

 

[PureX]

I had an episode Wednesday that ultimately led to me being admitted into the hospital. After several tests and scans, doctors concluded that I'd had a TIA (transient ischemic attack) also known as a mini-stroke, and that I've had previous TIAs as they observed small infarcts on my brain MRI indicating such. They didn't find any fresh infarctions, but I did have stroke-like symptoms that day. I've since been released with a cocktail of new meds including blood thinners and a cholesterol reducer to prevent a major stroke and am pretty much back to 'normal.'

I'm struggling with whether or not to tell my 19 year old daughter about this. I don't want to cause her undue worry, but I feel she should probably know what's going on with me.

If this was your dad, would you want to know?

If this happened to you, would you tell your kid(s)?

I look at it the other way round, if I were a young adult, would I want my dad to tell me of this? The answer is yes, because we all like to know what's going on with the people we care greatly about. But also, I think I would feel honored that my father shared something of personal importance with me. That he wanted me in his "inner circle", so to speak.

 

[metis]

If this was your dad, would you want to know?

Sorry to hear about this and I hope you get better soon.

To the above, yes, I would want to know and I did know.

If this happened to you, would you tell your kid(s)?

Yes, as hiding this could end up being even more traumatic.

 

[ChristineM]

I had an episode Wednesday that ultimately led to me being admitted into the hospital. After several tests and scans, doctors concluded that I'd had a TIA (transient ischemic attack) also known as a mini-stroke, and that I've had previous TIAs as they observed small infarcts on my brain MRI indicating such. They didn't find any fresh infarctions, but I did have stroke-like symptoms that day. I've since been released with a cocktail of new meds including blood thinners and a cholesterol reducer to prevent a major stroke and am pretty much back to 'normal.'

I'm struggling with whether or not to tell my 19 year old daughter about this. I don't want to cause her undue worry, but I feel she should probably know what's going on with me.

If this was your dad, would you want to know?

If this happened to you, would you tell your kid(s)?

My dad had a hemorrhagic stroke about 10 years ago, and although i could do nothing to help (was literally on the other side of the world) i was glad mom told me. It gave me time to prepare for the worst which i am glad to say didn't happen, he made a full(ish) recovery.

I think if you don't tell your daughter she could be mightily upset if she does find out. I don't know about your family but mine try to avoid an upset and angry daughter ;-) and the

Having been through my husband's cancer and my gall bladder op i know i would tell my kids. Slightly different, they live at home and notice if we go missing for days on end (i think). However we both (hubby and i) think its better to keep the kids apprised of anything that may impact on them.

Hoping you are ok now. The meds (asprin, dipyridamole* and simvastatin) are keeping my dad fit and active. I see no reason they won't work as well for you.

* Its been just over 10 years, the dipyridamole stoped for him, (no longer required) last May.