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Would you marry someone whose first-degree relative has a severe mental illness?

Globetrotter

New Member
Personally, I wouldn't.

A severe mental illness like schizophrenia has a strong genetic component. Even if my prospective spouse is perfectly healthy, the fact that she has a first-degree relative with the illness makes it somewhat likely that our children will be born with a genetic predisposition. Of course, this doesn't necessarily imply that they will get the disease, as the environment plays an important role as well.

Secondly, I wouldn't want to get into the family drama of caring for the mentally ill person as it could be a drain both financially and emotionally.

What would you guys do?
 

Mock Turtle

Oh my, did I say that!
Premium Member
Personally, I wouldn't.

A severe mental illness like schizophrenia has a strong genetic component. Even if my prospective spouse is perfectly healthy, the fact that she has a first-degree relative with the illness makes it somewhat likely that our children will be born with a genetic predisposition. Of course, this doesn't necessarily imply that they will get the disease, as the environment plays an important role as well.

Secondly, I wouldn't want to get into the family drama of caring for the mentally ill person as it could be a drain both financially and emotionally.

What would you guys do?

If we followed this line of reasoning we might eliminate all sorts of individuals, and one can't blame another for what they might have inherited, even though I can see your point. And just to be sure we should vet them and ask them to undergo genetic testing perhaps, and undergo psychological testing too to make sure they aren't psychopaths (but mostly this might be obvious) or something else. For many though, love will override all this. I don't think what a relative might have or is would sway me if I truly loved that person.

And welcome to RF. :D
 

ChristineM

"Be strong", I whispered to my coffee.
Premium Member
Personally, I wouldn't.

A severe mental illness like schizophrenia has a strong genetic component. Even if my prospective spouse is perfectly healthy, the fact that she has a first-degree relative with the illness makes it somewhat likely that our children will be born with a genetic predisposition. Of course, this doesn't necessarily imply that they will get the disease, as the environment plays an important role as well.

Secondly, I wouldn't want to get into the family drama of caring for the mentally ill person as it could be a drain both financially and emotionally.

What would you guys do?

People live with schizophrenia and very successfully. Here are some
20 Famous People with Schizophrenia

Also my brother in law who is severely schizophrenic and is a world renowned artist.

Schizophrenia is a word. Not a sentence


Welcome
 

Mock Turtle

Oh my, did I say that!
Premium Member
People live with schizophrenia and very successfully. Here are some
20 Famous People with Schizophrenia

Also my brother in law who is severely schizophrenic and is a world renowned artist.

Schizophrenia is a word. Not a sentence


Welcome

Ah, Syd Barrett, Peter Green, Jack Kerouac, Gene Tierney (yummy), and that Einstein chappie - life might be quite different without their particular contributions.
 

SalixIncendium

अहं ब्रह्मास्मि
Staff member
Premium Member
First, greeting and salutations. Welcome to the forum.

Personally, I wouldn't.

A severe mental illness like schizophrenia has a strong genetic component. Even if my prospective spouse is perfectly healthy, the fact that she has a first-degree relative with the illness makes it somewhat likely that our children will be born with a genetic predisposition. Of course, this doesn't necessarily imply that they will get the disease, as the environment plays an important role as well.

Is bearing children now a requisite of marriage?

Secondly, I wouldn't want to get into the family drama of caring for the mentally ill person as it could be a drain both financially and emotionally.

Looking out for number one takes precedence over all else for you, then? If so, do you think marriage would be fair to someone else, with or without a family history of mental illness, that may be your prospective spouse?

What would you guys do?

Not get married.
 

amorphous_constellation

Well-Known Member
Personally, I wouldn't.

A severe mental illness like schizophrenia has a strong genetic component. Even if my prospective spouse is perfectly healthy, the fact that she has a first-degree relative with the illness makes it somewhat likely that our children will be born with a genetic predisposition. Of course, this doesn't necessarily imply that they will get the disease, as the environment plays an important role as well.

Secondly, I wouldn't want to get into the family drama of caring for the mentally ill person as it could be a drain both financially and emotionally.

What would you guys do?

Welcome... Though I have few extreme lines I wouldn't cross, I'm afraid I find your post pretty superficial as you seem to expect perfection or near perfection. I also don't understand why you aren't expanding your question to include people with all kinds of other severe problems. Would you marry someone with autism in their family, or a certain cancer history, or diabetes, or someone in a wheelchair? Even if they are in good health, and you investigate the health of their family tree, what is your attitude if they have a serious health problem in ten years? Once you find the perfect partner, be sure to bring that up. Tell them that if in 10 years they contract a crippling disease, that your attitude toward them will change. If you don't bring that up, you're dishonest. And why take marriage all that seriously anyway if you're an atheist who's probably looking for an atheist partner. Most of the atheists I know irl are pretty loose about their relationships. There's nothing wrong with that, it's just something I noticed

Ah, Syd Barrett

Always was a big fan of early pink floyd, I actually have the early years box set. I think poor syd barrett mixed together a bunch of drugs he shouldn't have and got brain damage
 
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Mock Turtle

Oh my, did I say that!
Premium Member
Always was a big fan of early pink floyd, I actually have the early years box set. I think poor syd barrett mixed together a bunch of drugs he shouldn't have and got brain damage


See Emily Play, Arnold Lane, and Astronomy Domine still on my play list. I missed out on all the drugs scene then so can't comment on what and why people did/do such. Not my choice, I know that. Just sad it often happens to those with so much talent. :oops:
 

Unveiled Artist

Veteran Member
Personally, I wouldn't.

A severe mental illness like schizophrenia has a strong genetic component. Even if my prospective spouse is perfectly healthy, the fact that she has a first-degree relative with the illness makes it somewhat likely that our children will be born with a genetic predisposition. Of course, this doesn't necessarily imply that they will get the disease, as the environment plays an important role as well.

Secondly, I wouldn't want to get into the family drama of caring for the mentally ill person as it could be a drain both financially and emotionally.

What would you guys do?

If I really loved the person, I'd talk it out with her and tell her my feelings and things I can do and not do. Since it's not her personally, I don't see an issue unless I don't love her so much as to work it out. If she had a mental illness, it depends on my situation. If I can't take care of her IF something happens, I'd tell her it's best wait before getting married-not because of the love/moral stuff but the legal stuff involved.

That, and it depends on how well I know her and her family. If I never got along with her family to begin with, I'd bring that up. If it's just the idea of not having a child because of genetics to mental illness that would not be a deal breaker. When you have children you don't know what condition that child may be in. Mental health may not be the worse.

It depends on the relationship one has with whoever they are with.
 

epronovost

Well-Known Member
Personally, I wouldn't.

A severe mental illness like schizophrenia has a strong genetic component. Even if my prospective spouse is perfectly healthy, the fact that she has a first-degree relative with the illness makes it somewhat likely that our children will be born with a genetic predisposition. Of course, this doesn't necessarily imply that they will get the disease, as the environment plays an important role as well.

Secondly, I wouldn't want to get into the family drama of caring for the mentally ill person as it could be a drain both financially and emotionally.

What would you guys do?

You know, if you are so affraid to pass on to your children a severe mental illness you could marry that person just never have children. That's not exactly a big issue and if you still want to raise children, there is always the possibility of adoption or surogacy (if it's legal in your area).
 

A Vestigial Mote

Well-Known Member
What would you guys do?
As others have said, love may override all of these concerns for you if/when the time comes.

But I do see your point. To be honest, I believe that all of our positioning/jockeying/posturing to one another and methods of courting are all ways in which we seek to either detect a viable mate, or show off our own viability as a mate. And so your concerns in this vein are really no less valid an item to evaluate than physical attraction, or personality mesh. Others may find those things to be more wholesome, and the evaluation of them more "fun" and less "cold" or "harsh" - but in the end, a criterion is a criterion. We literally measure people up all the time for viability in all sorts of ways, and for all sorts of relationships. Judgment. It's here to stay.
 

Terry Sampson

Well-Known Member
Question: Would you marry someone whose first-degree relative has a severe mental illness?

It's not an issue for me in this lifetime, because my wife and I have been married to each other for nearly 40 years, my days are numbered, and it was hard enough find one person who would marry me; the chance of finding another one who would--in this lifetime--are slim to none. However, if I had it to do over again, I would anyway because our marriage worked out quite well (IMO, at least) in spite of the fact that all of my wife's brothers and sisters are severely mentally deranged (in my non-professional opinion). Next time around, though, I'll work on getting my in-laws committed to a mental institution. :);):confused::cool::eek:o_O:D
 
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Riders

Well-Known Member
Personally, I wouldn't.

A severe mental illness like schizophrenia has a strong genetic component. Even if my prospective spouse is perfectly healthy, the fact that she has a first-degree relative with the illness makes it somewhat likely that our children will be born with a genetic predisposition. Of course, this doesn't necessarily imply that they will get the disease, as the environment plays an important role as well.

Secondly, I wouldn't want to get into the family drama of caring for the mentally ill person as it could be a drain both financially and emotionally.

What would you guys do?

I think most folks are actually related to someone with mental illness. I think your fighting a losing battle.
 
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