Would you go to a church where the preacher has been accused of sexual misconduct?

[Deidre]

It sounds like what you're saying is that whatever alcohol was involved wasn't enough to interfere with consent; in that case, I'd probably be open to staying. It would depend on the pastor's stance on the issue generally - i.e. if he's hypocritically condemning others for what he's doing himself.

This is a story I read, I don't know this pastor personally, but thought the question was worth asking, because a lot of people have deserted this particular church over this guy's ''sinful past.'' From what I can guess, the sex was consensual but the women are claiming that he was a player, and was using them, etc. Hard to really know the full truth, but he was never arrested, and won't be. So, it's just a matter of him having sex outside of marriage as a pastor and sleeping with women in his congregation. I mean, as a pastor, that's simply not cool...BUT...he has repented, and when looking at the Bible, there are many sinners who turned from sinning and turned to preaching the Gospel message for Christ, so ...think that is why I posted the question. It's really more of a personal thing, whether or not you'd still allow yourself to attend this guy's services.

 

[McBell]

This is a story I read, I don't know this pastor personally, but thought the question was worth asking, because a lot of people have deserted this particular church over this guy's ''sinful past.'' From what I can guess, the sex was consensual but the women are claiming that he was a player, and was using them, etc. Hard to really know the full truth, but he was never arrested, and won't be. So, it's just a matter of him having sex outside of marriage as a pastor and sleeping with women in his congregation. I mean, as a pastor, that's simply not cool...BUT...he has repented, and when looking at the Bible, there are many sinners who turned from sinning and turned to preaching the Gospel message for Christ, so ...think that is why I posted the question. It's really more of a personal thing, whether or not you'd still allow yourself to attend this guy's services.

Having consensual sex is one thing.
Even if he is/was a "player"
Molesting children is a whole other ball of wax.

 

[Milton Platt]

I recently read about a guy who is an ''evangelist'' and pastor of a church, that he has a long history of recent sexual misconduct allegations, some of which he admitted to, but many he claims are lies about him. Would you attend a church where the preacher was being accused by quite a few women, of sexual misconduct? Why or why not?

Those guys are a dime a dozen these days. To answer your question, if he has not been prosecuted and convicted, it is just hearsay. If he is prosecuted, then he is in prison and therefore your question is moot.

 

[Deidre]

Having consensual sex is one thing.
Even if he is/was a "player"
Molesting children is a whole other ball of wax.

Agree, there were no children involved...no one was underage. Just sounds like he was ''using'' his congregation as a FWB thing at the time. The pastors who are against this guy, still feel what he did was wrong and that he should not be ''followed'' by anyone, nor should he be preaching anywhere. But, he has since repented...so, while these pastors feel he is hypocritical, they themselves are hypocritical considering that they are sort of not being congruent with Jesus' teachings of forgiveness.

 

[Adamski]

I would stick with he denomination but the pastor should step down or you should go to a different church

 

[lewisnotmiller]

Well, part of being a believer, is that we are mindful of our sins, we repent, meaning...we seek to change behaviors that are not healthy, sinful, etc. In this case, reading about this guy who repented, it would mean that he has stopped the behavior, and has learned the error of his ways. You know? So, going with that, is it appropriate to still go to a church where let's say, this guy still preaches? As @Carlita had posted...we are all sinners, and so if we repent, then shouldn't we be forgiving? I think we should of course, but should there be ''earthly consequences'' for such as losing one's job, etc even if the believer repented? Maybe that is another question.

You might be missing my point, slightly.
Assume for a moment that if he is honestly repentant, I think he should keep his job.
He says he is honestly repentant. What would he say if he was NOT repentant?

 

[Heim]

Agree, there were no children involved...no one was underage. Just sounds like he was ''using'' his congregation as a FWB thing at the time. The pastors who are against this guy, still feel what he did was wrong and that he should not be ''followed'' by anyone, nor should he be preaching anywhere. But, he has since repented...so, while these pastors feel he is hypocritical, they themselves are hypocritical considering that they are sort of not being congruent with Jesus' teachings of forgiveness.

If this has been discussed with the congregation and he shows repentance for his actions then I think he should be allowed to serve. However, if people he wronged are within the parish he served it may not be a good idea for him to remain specifically there. Maybe he can serve somewhere else?

 

[YmirGF]

I would not dignify a church, by setting foot in one, regardless of the sexual preferences of the presiding preacher.

Life is too short to waste on some things...

 

[Deidre]

You might be missing my point, slightly.
Assume for a moment that if he is honestly repentant, I think he should keep his job.
He says he is honestly repentant. What would he say if he was NOT repentant?

Well, repentant means you change your ways. It doesn't mean that you just acknowledge wrong doing and ask for forgiveness of whoever, and of God. It means changing your life. So, if he were still sleeping around with women, then his actions would be proof that he hasn't changed...you know?

 

[McBell]

Well, repentant means you change your ways. It doesn't mean that you just acknowledge wrong doing and ask for forgiveness of whoever, and of God. It means changing your life. So, if he were still sleeping around with women, then his actions would be proof that he hasn't changed...you know?

Except that "repentant" does not mean "change your ways"....

 

[lewisnotmiller]

Well, repentant means you change your ways. It doesn't mean that you just acknowledge wrong doing and ask for forgiveness of whoever, and of God. It means changing your life. So, if he were still sleeping around with women, then his actions would be proof that he hasn't changed...you know?

So if he was a pedophile, instead of adulterer?

 

[DeviChaaya]

Nope. Women very rarely make frivolous claims about sexual abuse. It's more likely to be true than not.

 

[Deidre]

So if he was a pedophile, instead of adulterer?

I wouldn't attend a church where the pastor is a pedophile, no. Do you put the two on the same level? I don't...adultery is between two consenting adults, a pedophile is looking to harm children.

Nope. Women very rarely make frivolous claims about sexual abuse. It's more likely to be true than not.

These women didn't say he raped them ....they willingly slept with him, but sounds like he was still out of line in his position as pastor since he shouldn't be sleeping with women in his congregation, nor offering them alcohol to make them more receptive. Sounds like the more I read about the history of what happened, is that all of these women seemed to think they were the ''chosen one,'' no pun. So, maybe they came forward when they found out he was playing a few different women at the same time. Idk, he wasn't arrested though or charged with anything, so it's more about a moral issue than a legal one, I guess.

 

[VioletVortex]

Because I am not a Christian, I wouldn't attend a church service to begin with, however, I would not go to a Hearth where an important figure has commited any form of sexual misconduct.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

a pedophile is looking to harm children

No, a pedophile is a person that is sexually/romantically attracted to children. They may or may not act on it. I've known more than one who does not act on it nor wish to.

 

[Deidre]

No, a pedophile is a person that is sexually/romantically attracted to children. They may or may not act on it. I've known more than one who does not act on it nor wish to.

True, only if they acted upon it, would I not attend that church, because it's a crime.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

I wouldn't attend a church where the pastor is a pedophile, no. Do you put the two on the same level? I don't...adultery is between two consenting adults, a pedophile is looking to harm children.

Not at all would I put them on the same level. I'm far more interested in your position on repentance.
The severity of the action impacts on the ability of a repenter to truly repent?
Or does repentance only mean regret for previous actions, but not indicate an ability to control future action?

 

[Deidre]

Not at all would I put them on the same level. I'm far more interested in your position on repentance.
The severity of the action impacts on the ability of a repenter to truly repent?
Or does repentance only mean regret for previous actions, but not indicate an ability to control future action?

If we look at the priest sexual scandals for example, those men claimed they were repentant, but weren't. I believe that some were ill, and would never really be ''cured.'' It comes down to, regardless if someone claims to be repentant or not, if their actions continue along a path of destruction, or hurting people, etc...despite them saying ''I'm sorry and should repent.'' If the actions were continuing along the same path, frankly the person should step down. If crimes are being committed, then the law should step in. Just like in a secular situation...

 

[lewisnotmiller]

If we look at the priest sexual scandals for example, those men claimed they were repentant, but weren't. I believe that some were ill, and would never really be ''cured.'' It comes down to, regardless if someone claims to be repentant or not, if their actions continue along a path of destruction, or hurting people, etc...despite them saying ''I'm sorry and should repent.'' If the actions were continuing along the same path, frankly the person should step down. If crimes are being committed, then the law should step in. Just like in a secular situation...

This all makes sense to me.
Earlier it sounded a little like you thought people who claimed repentance were in fact repentant, and perhaps even further, that they could therefore be trusted not to transgress again.

To be clear, you never actually said that, hence my questions. In terms of what you've said here, we're on the same page.

 

[Deidre]

This all makes sense to me.
Earlier it sounded a little like you thought people who claimed repentance were in fact repentant, and perhaps even further, that they could therefore be trusted not to transgress again.

To be clear, you never actually said that, hence my questions. In terms of what you've said here, we're on the same page.

And for that? You get a gold star.