Would you advise oral sex instead of . . . ?

[Banner]

I guess I'm just thinking of how tough and complicated sex can be for adults and so it seems even worse for the hormone driven, melodramatic teens.

 

[Storm]

After much reflection, I voted no.

1) I don't trust horny teens' self-control that much.
2) As the mother of a boy fast approaching adolescence, my my fear would be that he would slack off in preparing for safe sex were I to advise "othercourse."
3) As far as emotional fallout goes, I think there's usually as much confusion and intensity surrounding oral/ anal/ etc. as there is traditional intercourse.

Basically, the only advantage I can see is possibly-lowered risk of pregnancy, which flies out the window if they don't stop.

I'd much rather educate my son on risks, responsibilities, and consequences and let him make his own decisions. (And give him condoms whether he wants them or not!)

 

[Sunstone]

I have to admit I'm not sure about the resiliency of teens in this area. I suppose for some yes. It seems that many hold on to what happened to them in adolescence for far longer than you'd think. And let me admit that I have no statistical backing on this thought, just basic life experience. But really, in the long run I do think people shake their teen mistakes (if perceived as such). And maybe I just know a lot of overly emotional chicks and prideful dudes

In my experience, it's hard to generalize about these things. For instance: Girls raised without a father tend to behave differently (regarding sex) as a group than girls raised with fathers. And among the group, "Girls raised without fathers", typical behavior tends to vary according to when their father left and for what reasons he left. I've heard boys are just about as complicated as girls here. So, I think generalizing about teens can be done, but that it is problematic. You are on safer grounds when generalizing about sub-groups. It's an interesting topic though.

 

[Banner]

In my experience, it's hard to generalize about these things. For instance: Girls raised without a father tend to behave differently (regarding sex) as a group than girls raised with fathers. And among the group, "Girls raised without fathers", typical behavior tends to vary according to when their father left and for what reasons he left. I've heard boys are just about as complicated as girls here. So, I think generalizing about teens can be done, but that it is problematic. You are on safer grounds when generalizing about sub-groups. It's an interesting topic though.

True Sunstone,
And maybe I'm not giving teens enough credit. After all...most people had sexual encounters in their mid teens and most people are alright. Or...are they? ;p

 

[Banner]

And I agree Sunstone, it is a very interesting topic. I dread my kids teen years! Yikes.

 

[Sunstone]

True Sunstone,
And maybe I'm not giving teens enough credit. After all...most people had sexual encounters in their mid teens and most people are alright. Or...are they? ;p

I don't know... a lot of those folks who had sex as teens grew up to vote for George Bush. Can we say they turned out right?

Seriously, some years ago I moved to Colorado. By chance, the first 200 people I met were teens. They kind of adopted me -- possibly because I tended to be non-judgmental. So, for a few years, I was being invited to parties, movies, plays, rock climbs, road trips, and so forth. And the thing I noticed was the kids I'd met were repeating -- in detail -- all the learning mistakes of my own generation. They were going through same things, dealing with the same issues as we had. And they were making the same mistakes as we had. The ones who could learn, were learning just as fast as we had. And the ones who couldn't learn were messing up their lives just as fast as we had. So, I think people are going to make mistakes -- but in many cases, that just might be what most of them need in order to learn.

 

[jeanie]

Might stop pregnancy but won't stop disease.

That's actually becoming an epidemic with many consequences. This article called Is oral sex real sex? explains a lot surrounding this practice as it's being suggested as an alternative but carries it's own heavy weight of risks like oral cancer. Also, the reputation of women is being harmed just as the same as intercourse with this practice. I think the most important thing to say is that regardless of the type of "sex" you have, always wear a condom.

From my personal opinion, when I was in my teenage years, "dry-humping" was our version of oral sex, it's unfortunate that these days the sexuality of teenagers is being way to rampant. Blame society like movies, and especially music videos for their explicit lessons bombarding our kids.

As it always has, the lesson lands into parents laps but parents these days seem to have much more of a challenge then my parents did in the 80's.

 

[Skwim]

That's actually becoming an epidemic with many consequences. This article called Is oral sex real sex? explains a lot surrounding this practice as it's being suggested as an alternative but carries it's own heavy weight of risks like oral cancer.

There was no citation of a source for this, so it's as good as none-existent.

Also, the reputation of women is being harmed just as the same as intercourse with this practice.

Ah, no one has to tell do they? And in some circles it's really a non-issue.

I think the most important thing to say is that regardless of the type of "sex" you have, always wear a condom.

Now that's good advice, however . . . .

From my personal opinion, when I was in my teenage years, "dry-humping" was our version of oral sex, it's unfortunate that these days the sexuality of teenagers is being way to rampant. Blame society like movies, and especially music videos for their explicit lessons bombarding our kids.

If one must.

 

[Me Myself]

I wouldn´t have problem with my teenager above 14 to have coitus, very less oral sex.

I do would like it for them to remain as monogamous as posible in it though. they are in a too excitable age so I think it´s safer with one single partner.

The ebst would be to have "the talk". Of course is she is a girl, I´ll leave mom to do it

 

[Banner]

Well...Me Myself, I'll see how you feel about that when you have a 14 year old...lol.

 

[Flankerl]

At the end of the day it doesnt even matter how he feels about it. His kid(s) will have sex and there is nothing he can do about it.

 

[Magic Man]

If you found out your young teenager---say, under seventeen---was seriously, very seriously, thinking about loosing his or her virginity would you suggest fellatio or cunnilingus as a reasonable alternative?

No. I'd just make sure they were educated about sex and taking the necessary precautions when doing it. If they're going to go with oral sex, they're probably going to quickly move on to full intercourse.

 

[waitasec]

I can't seriously see myself suggesting sex or sexual acts at all to my kid.

I'm just being honest.

i know what you mean.

but the day will be reckoned with :help:


edit:
just realized that was an older post...

 

[Zoe Doidge]

If you found out your young teenager---say, under seventeen---was seriously, very seriously, thinking about loosing his or her virginity would you suggest fellatio or cunnilingus as a reasonable alternative?

Why would they need an alternative? It's a good idea as a prelude though, gets you used to each others bodies.

 

[Skwim]

Why would they need an alternative? It's a good idea as a prelude though, gets you used to each others bodies.

I'll take that as a "No." Thank you.

 

[Wirey]

I would. It might save them the 'Well, that was that' factor. How many times have you slept with someone and immediately afterwards realized that it was just that, a one timer? Plus, less grandkids, and I hate babysitting.

 

[otokage007]

I would suggest him/her to try both.

 

[Octavia156]

2/3rd say NO!?

WTF!?

 

[Zoe Doidge]

2/3rd say NO!?

WTF!?

I think there have been plenty of reasons stated which should make clear why this is the case.

 

[Starsurfer93]

I can't see myself recommending any form of sexual act to my children. I would prefer they stay abstinent at least as long as they're still in High School. I know from experience that sexual acts at that age tend to result in more emotional pain than pleasure.

However, understanding that they will probably do whatever they want anyway, (Like I did) I would sit them down, have a long, very down-to-earth conversation about why I feel it would best if they waited and then end by letting them know that I will always love them and that if they decided to do something of a sexual nature, I'd prefer they do it safely. i.e. using condoms, getting themselves and their partner tested (as awkward as that is), etc. I'd rather them have sex and be healthy about it than hide it from me and do something stupid.

Besides, as others have said before me, there's only so long oral satisfies you before you want to take things further. Once you get your foot in the door, it's kinda hard to stop yourself from going through it... :hearts: