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Would you advise oral sex instead of . . . ?

Discussion in 'Sexuality' started by Skwim, Jul 31, 2011.

?
  1. Yes

    14 vote(s)
    31.8%
  2. No

    30 vote(s)
    68.2%
  1. Skwim

    Skwim Veteran Member

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    If you found out your young teenager---say, under seventeen---was seriously, very seriously, thinking about loosing his or her virginity would you suggest fellatio or cunnilingus as a reasonable alternative?
     
    #1 Skwim, Jul 31, 2011
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2011
  2. Rakhel

    Rakhel Well-Known Member

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  3. Acim

    Acim Revelation all the time

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    No. I think oral sex coupled with 'young love' (puppy dog love) would lead to, "let's do more, that was fun!"

    If not desiring teenager to engage in sexual intercourse, I'd advocate abstinence with idea of 'keep clothes on' but have as much fun romantically that way.

    Might not be entirely practical given modern day realities, but it is what I might advocate, even if it is met with sense of 'that ain't going to work.' It stands a chance to work, and lets teenager be decision maker, with informed, concerned guidance having been provided.
     
  4. Sunstone

    Sunstone De Diablo Del Fora
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    It would depend on a number of circumstances, not just age. But in general, if it was my 15 year old daughter, I would get her on the pill and make sure she was well informed about sex. Then I would tell her she had to keep her grades up or he couldn't sleep over in her bedroom. No "A"s, no sex.
     
  5. Father Heathen

    Father Heathen Veteran Member

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    I think it would be better to encourage vasectomies and tubectomies.
     
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  6. Badran

    Badran Veteran Member
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    ***Mod post***

    Thread moved to Sexuality forum.​
     
  7. dawny0826

    dawny0826 Mother Heathen

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    I can't seriously see myself suggesting sex or sexual acts at all to my kid.

    I'm just being honest.
     
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  8. bobhikes

    bobhikes AntiRepublican
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    I don't believe that it would stop right there. Teenagers are not that good at thinking straight under the influence of there horomones.

    I believe in fully teaching about sex and best practices but also requiring abstinence until they have finished High School. The cost of one mistake is much to high.
     
  9. Vinayaka

    Vinayaka devotee
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    Might stop pregnancy but won't stop disease.
     
  10. Herr Heinrich

    Herr Heinrich Student of Mythology

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    Perhaps, but I think they would want to try more. I would rather my child be educated and willing to talk to me about it. That way he can avoid getting diseases or getting someone pregnant.
     
  11. Katzpur

    Katzpur Not your average Mormon

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    Since I believe that sexual intimacy outside of marriage is wrong, I wouldn't see oral sex as any more acceptable than any other kind. I mean why would it be? If the concern is with an unwanted pregnancy (as opposed to moral objections), I'd tell the kids they'd better be sure to use protection.
     
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  12. Skwim

    Skwim Veteran Member

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    Yeah, I debated about putting it there,but decided the issue was one of parenting more than it was about sex. My mistake. :D Anyway, thanks for putting it in the right place. [​IMG]
     
  13. Skwim

    Skwim Veteran Member

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    Sorry Herr Heinrich, I'm sure what you've said here is pretty good, but my eyes have trouble adjusting to your light blue type on a light gray background. So I'll just say "thanks" for replying.


    For those who think oral sex would simply lead to much more (sexual intercourse) just remember that the premise in the OP is that's where the relationship was already headed for.
     
    #13 Skwim, Jul 31, 2011
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2011
  14. Penumbra

    Penumbra Veteran Member
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    I think I would just advise birth control, education, safety, responsibility, going slow and to really think things through, rather than to list specific sex ideas.
     
  15. Kilgore Trout

    Kilgore Trout Misanthropic Humanist

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    Would I suggest to my teenage kid that they have oral sex?

    I can't imagine any situation where I would feel that was appropriate.
     
  16. Lindsey-Loo

    Lindsey-Loo Steel Magnolia

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    Oral sex runs the same risks, both emotionally and physically, as intercourse. I would put my daughter on the pill or give my son condoms and have a long talk with them about some of my own regrets and my opinion that it is truly safer, both emotionally and physically, to save sex for marriage. But no, oral sex is just as bad for a teenager in my book.

    But in all honesty, teenagers are teenagers and they are most likely going to do it no matter what I tell them. When I have teenagers, I would rather make sure they can talk to me about anything, understand my point of view, and be protected from a physical tragedy like a pregnancy or an STD. Then when the emotional tragedy that generally occurs with teenage sex happens, I want them to know I'm there to support them through it.

    Coming from the voice of experience, threats and lecturing definitely do not work.
     
  17. Flankerl

    Flankerl Well-Known Member

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    Pretty much what Penumbra wrote.
     
  18. Acim

    Acim Revelation all the time

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    Honestly, just remember yourself as teenager, and the what to do becomes, I think, more obvious.

    As a teenager / young adult (and not little kid) did it really work for you if some pseudo authority figure tried to say 'you can't do this?' Or anything in vein of threatening you? Perhaps it worked once, but when realizing it was threat out of their own fears, rather than actual concern / love, it became easy to overlook next time around.

    Likewise, if only given one version of 'what to do' which could be "abstinence only" or could be "have safe sex" - these would come off as, I think naive. Cause kids around them (or us) aren't living up to 'only one way to look at all this.'

    So, either we have longer discussion with several options and present info like teenager is equal, perhaps even 'teacher' (for momentary consideration), or we essentially as a parent learn the hard way of what it was like to think that denying them choice or denying reality, would magically work this time where it never worked before.
     
  19. Acim

    Acim Revelation all the time

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    "What do you (really) think?" is not a bad way to go in such dialogue.
     
  20. 9-10ths_Penguin

    9-10ths_Penguin 1/10 Subway Stalinist
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    "Reasonable" in what way? Safer? More socially acceptable?

    I don't think I'd want to cultivate an attitude that oral sex isn't "real" sex. IMO, if a person is ready for one, he or she is probably ready for the other. OTOH, if he or she isn't ready for intercourse, then oral sex is probably a bad idea, too.
     
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