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Winner or Loser?

Mock Turtle

Oh my, did I say that!
Premium Member
How far will you go with regards to winning some particular event or test, and as to ambitions and/or ethical behaviour?

All my life I can't say I was particularly competitive or ambitious, even if I did try my best much of the time, especially in any team situations. I didn't for example practice football or cricket much during schooling, not being that interested in either, so consequently wasn't particularly good at them. I can't really think of anything that I tried to improve so as to win, and subsequently I was successful in this - not winning anything. :oops: Even exams were only taken seriously later in my youth (when I did much better), but I would never have cheated in any. So overall I just left such to fate and did as much as I could, not ever thinking of how I could get around or defeat the system or some competitor.

Later in life I did observe how other individuals behaved differently. A few examples. A good friend of mine, whilst playing a game of darts in a pub once, felt the need to hassle me whilst it was my turn (comments and such), something which I would never do. He did appear to me to be very competitive and just hated losing, seemingly even at a game of darts. Another example. During a speed beer-drinking contest, I just happened to be the fastest in our team (a group of close friends), but we rarely won in the final. Another lad, from a team that usually won, tried to poach me to join their team, but of course I felt some loyalty to my mates and declined. But the incident did point out to me that some seemingly had such a competitive streak in them that they would want any they perceived as being a threat to be in their team so as to maintain their superiority.

These are very minor examples, but then I haven't really much else to offer in this context, but what have you done to make sure you have won - or not done?

Win, lose, or doesn't matter that much?
 

SalixIncendium

अग्निविलोवनन्दः
Staff member
Premium Member
I've been competitive for a large part of my life and early in life was not happy unless I was the best. I attribute this to parental indoctrination, where anything below an A on my report card was unacceptable because "you're smarter than that." I did my best through my life, and still do, but my integrity was always important to me, so I never cheated.

That said, as I've grown older and wiser, the competition to being the best matters much less, mostly because I've come to realize in this world that nothing is really mine. Win or lose, it doesn't really matter. I still do my best, but with the knowledge that it's all borrowed and all temporary.

 

Mock Turtle

Oh my, did I say that!
Premium Member
I've been competitive for a large part of my life and early in life was not happy unless I was the best. I attribute this to parental indoctrination, where anything below an A on my report card was unacceptable because "you're smarter than that." I did my best through my life, and still do, but my integrity was always important to me, so I never cheated.

That said, as I've grown older and wiser, the competition to being the best matters much less, mostly because I've come to realize in this world that nothing is really mine. Win or lose, it doesn't really matter. I still do my best, but with the knowledge that it's all borrowed and all temporary.

Seems the exact opposite from me then, as I didn't seem to get any pressure from my parents, and perhaps accounts for why I lacked the drive that many seem to exhibit. It was only as a youth that I found out how different our parental experiences often are. But at least I did have a stable family life and a very loving and caring mother, so I can forgive her, and my dad, for not being on top of us to perform. But then I should really have done better at school, given my later experiences, so I did miss out somewhat. That's working class parenting all too often though - low expectations. :oops:
 

Unveiled Artist

Veteran Member
I've never been one to be competitive. I was sitting at a college football game once and cheered for whoever got the score but never took sides just which has the best maneuver. That or run just to run rather than sign up for a race.
 
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Stevicus

Veteran Member
Staff member
Premium Member
These are very minor examples, but then I haven't really much else to offer in this context, but what have you done to make sure you have won - or not done?

Win, lose, or doesn't matter that much?

I grew to dislike board games early in life.

600
 

ChristineM

"Be strong", I whispered to my coffee.
Premium Member
How far will you go with regards to winning some particular event or test, and as to ambitions and/or ethical behaviour?

All my life I can't say I was particularly competitive or ambitious, even if I did try my best much of the time, especially in any team situations. I didn't for example practice football or cricket much during schooling, not being that interested in either, so consequently wasn't particularly good at them. I can't really think of anything that I tried to improve so as to win, and subsequently I was successful in this - not winning anything. :oops: Even exams were only taken seriously later in my youth (when I did much better), but I would never have cheated in any. So overall I just left such to fate and did as much as I could, not ever thinking of how I could get around or defeat the system or some competitor.

Later in life I did observe how other individuals behaved differently. A few examples. A good friend of mine, whilst playing a game of darts in a pub once, felt the need to hassle me whilst it was my turn (comments and such), something which I would never do. He did appear to me to be very competitive and just hated losing, seemingly even at a game of darts. Another example. During a speed beer-drinking contest, I just happened to be the fastest in our team (a group of close friends), but we rarely won in the final. Another lad, from a team that usually won, tried to poach me to join their team, but of course I felt some loyalty to my mates and declined. But the incident did point out to me that some seemingly had such a competitive streak in them that they would want any they perceived as being a threat to be in their team so as to maintain their superiority.

These are very minor examples, but then I haven't really much else to offer in this context, but what have you done to make sure you have won - or not done?

Win, lose, or doesn't matter that much?


I am not competitive, being written off at school can drive that lust to win right out of ya... When i left school my intention was to "show em" and becoming good at whatever my job was.

Fate favoured me to take up dogital digital graphic design when "desktop" computers were still a novelty.

When i started in graphics there was no competition but that changed quite rapidly and to keep at least one step ahead meant continuously breaking new boundaries, creating new techniques and constant learning.

So yes, i think i must have retained some of that competitive edge.
 
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PureX

Veteran Member
Even as a kid, before I really understood why, I felt as though competition was somehow wrong or immoral. And I still feel that way, for the most part. I understand that it can often be just good-hearted fun, but even then, it's based on an ideal or set of ideals that I find counter-productive to the well-being of humanity. The truth is that competition is an ego-based ideal that wastes time, energy, and resources to achieve what could have been achieved through cooperation far more easily and efficiently. And without generating pointless animosities between people and groups of people.

I just don't believe that competition is an expression of what's good in humanity. I think it's mostly just the opposite. It's an expression of our willingness to sacrifice the well-being of others of our own kind just to increase our own self-esteem.
 

Nakosis

Non-Binary Physicalist
Premium Member
How far will you go with regards to winning some particular event or test, and as to ambitions and/or ethical behaviour?

All my life I can't say I was particularly competitive or ambitious, even if I did try my best much of the time, especially in any team situations. I didn't for example practice football or cricket much during schooling, not being that interested in either, so consequently wasn't particularly good at them. I can't really think of anything that I tried to improve so as to win, and subsequently I was successful in this - not winning anything. :oops: Even exams were only taken seriously later in my youth (when I did much better), but I would never have cheated in any. So overall I just left such to fate and did as much as I could, not ever thinking of how I could get around or defeat the system or some competitor.

Later in life I did observe how other individuals behaved differently. A few examples. A good friend of mine, whilst playing a game of darts in a pub once, felt the need to hassle me whilst it was my turn (comments and such), something which I would never do. He did appear to me to be very competitive and just hated losing, seemingly even at a game of darts. Another example. During a speed beer-drinking contest, I just happened to be the fastest in our team (a group of close friends), but we rarely won in the final. Another lad, from a team that usually won, tried to poach me to join their team, but of course I felt some loyalty to my mates and declined. But the incident did point out to me that some seemingly had such a competitive streak in them that they would want any they perceived as being a threat to be in their team so as to maintain their superiority.

These are very minor examples, but then I haven't really much else to offer in this context, but what have you done to make sure you have won - or not done?

Win, lose, or doesn't matter that much?

If I win, I want to win fairly. Otherwise, I don't feel I actually won.

There's no ego boost, no increase in self-esteem. I don't really understand the mentality. I guess like you said, it is more about not losing for them.

You learn from losing. You learn your weaknesses and what you need to work on/do better at. The only failure is to not learn from the experience.
 

Mock Turtle

Oh my, did I say that!
Premium Member
I grew to dislike board games early in life.

600
Ah, I think you have caught me on something - playing Monopoly - which we often did at home or on holiday when the weather was bad. I can distinctly see myself having a tantrum when I was losing - which was probably quite often to two older brothers and my parents. It's just so unfair! :cry:
 

Mock Turtle

Oh my, did I say that!
Premium Member
Even as a kid, before I really understood why, I felt as though competition was somehow wrong or immoral. And I still feel that way, for the most part. I understand that it can often be just good-hearted fun, but even then, it's based on an ideal or set of ideals that I find counter-productive to the well-being of humanity. The truth is that competition is an ego-based ideal that wastes time, energy, and resources to achieve what could have been achieved through cooperation far more easily and efficiently. And without generating pointless animosities between people and groups of people.

I just don't believe that competition is an expression of what's good in humanity. I think it's mostly just the opposite. It's an expression of our willingness to sacrifice the well-being of others of our own kind just to increase our own self-esteem.
Yeah, I tend to agree with this, and prefer cooperation in most instances. Working in a team always seems to be better in my experiences and tends to bring out the best in us all.
 

Mock Turtle

Oh my, did I say that!
Premium Member
If I win, I want to win fairly. Otherwise, I don't feel I actually won.

There's no ego boost, no increase in self-esteem. I don't really understand the mentality. I guess like you said, it is more about not losing for them.

You learn from losing. You learn your weaknesses and what you need to work on/do better at. The only failure is to not learn from the experience.
I think that is how I feel about such, and hence when I don't win I have no issues with those who do, as long as they haven't cheated in some way.
 
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