why so many rude people in church?

[kloth]

I'm not saying this about everybody that i come across there, but most of them for sure.

once in a while i visit an all new church, and i often get dirty looks and nobody comes up to meet the new guy.
i dress according, trim up, keep a modest disposition, follow the course of mass.

now there are some very friendly and welcoming regulars there who will approach me right away, but i notice that other regulars will but right into our conversation without looking at me, and trying to divert what the friendly one is saying to me.

seems weird.

 

[psychoslice]

Yes there always seem to be a handful of jerks that think they are better than everyone else, and sadly they are usually women, at least this was my experience with the church, or churches that have been to.

 

[ChristineES]

I have been going to a great many different Churches of different denominations and I never met anyone that was rude outright (unless you count shy or unfriendly as rude). The Church I just joined has greeters at the door who shake people's hands as they enter. I've been to Churches in California, Colorado, and Virginia.
You will always see people who are shy, a bit unfriendly, etc. but there are people of that type in any place you enter. I think you really need to remind yourself that Christians are just people like anyone else: Friendly and unfriendly, loving and not loving, etc.

 

[freethinker44]

I'm not saying this about everybody that i come across there, but most of them for sure.

once in a while i visit an all new church, and i often get dirty looks and nobody comes up to meet the new guy.
i dress according, trim up, keep a modest disposition, follow the course of mass.

now there are some very friendly and welcoming regulars there who will approach me right away, but i notice that other regulars will but right into our conversation without looking at me, and trying to divert what the friendly one is saying to me.

seems weird.

I've noticed this too. Some of the rudest, nastiest people I've ever met in my life I met at my grandma's church. Come to think of it, the worst neighbors I've ever lived next to were the most church-going I have ever known, and some of my most unpleasant coworkers have also been the most religious. The greediest person I've ever known in my life, and also the worst roommate I've ever had was also the most conservative, fundamentalist christian I've ever known.

Starting to see a pattern.

Perhaps also related to this, some of the most polite, pleasant people I've known have been former or current Jehova's Witnesses.

 

[ChristineES]

It's strange, a lot of the nicest people I've met were at various Churches.

 

[Father Heathen]

I'm not saying this about everybody that i come across there, but most of them for sure.

once in a while i visit an all new church, and i often get dirty looks and nobody comes up to meet the new guy.
i dress according, trim up, keep a modest disposition, follow the course of mass.

now there are some very friendly and welcoming regulars there who will approach me right away, but i notice that other regulars will but right into our conversation without looking at me, and trying to divert what the friendly one is saying to me.

seems weird.

It's holier-than-thou ego/elitism, and you're an outsider sullying the atmosphere of their exclusive clubhouse.

 

[ChristineES]

Is it just me? Virtually all the people I meet in Church, on the street, in stores, etc are usually very polite and very pleasant. I don't meet a lot of unpleasant people. I do sometimes.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

I'm not saying this about everybody that i come across there, but most of them for sure.

once in a while i visit an all new church, and i often get dirty looks and nobody comes up to meet the new guy.
i dress according, trim up, keep a modest disposition, follow the course of mass.

now there are some very friendly and welcoming regulars there who will approach me right away, but i notice that other regulars will but right into our conversation without looking at me, and trying to divert what the friendly one is saying to me.

seems weird.

Reminds me of a song:

But Sunday morning in the church they'll catch up on the news
There's a murmur in the flock and there's a reason they're called pews
'Cause something smells kinda' fishy with the local holy plan
And I can only thank the Lord that I don't give a damn

[youtube]hrxulZXmaxs[/youtube]
Lowest of the Low ~ Gossip Talkin' Blues - YouTube

 

[JayJayDee]

Perhaps also related to this, some of the most polite, pleasant people I've known have been former or current Jehova's Witnesses.

Thanks...we like to view everyone as a potential brother or sister.

If someone rejects our message, it shouldn't be because we were rude to them.

 

[ChristineES]

Thanks...we like to view everyone as a potential brother or sister.

If someone rejects our message, it shouldn't be because we were rude to them.

With the exception of one person, every Jehovah's Witness has been very kind. That one person isn't really worth mentioning.

 

[Matthew78]

I'm not saying this about everybody that i come across there, but most of them for sure.

once in a while i visit an all new church, and i often get dirty looks and nobody comes up to meet the new guy.
i dress according, trim up, keep a modest disposition, follow the course of mass.

now there are some very friendly and welcoming regulars there who will approach me right away, but i notice that other regulars will but right into our conversation without looking at me, and trying to divert what the friendly one is saying to me.

seems weird.

This happened to my family once. When we moved from San Francisco to a large town in California's central valley, we attended a First Christian Church. My parents complained that they were the most stuck-up, rudest, and unfriendly people they have ever encountered. Even the minister was far from friendly.

 

[Matthew78]

It's strange, a lot of the nicest people I've met were at various Churches.

This is my experience. Probably the one church that I have gone to that has had the nicest people I have ever met was at a Unitarian Universalist church. This church is the one that I currently go to.

 

[Father Heathen]

This happened to my family once. When we moved from San Francisco to a large town in California's central valley, we attended a First Christian Church. My parents complained that they were the most stuck-up, rudest, and unfriendly people they have ever encountered. Even the minister was far from friendly.

...yet Christ himself is said to have hung out with beggars, prostitutes and thieves.

 

[NobodyYouKnow]

I'm not saying this about everybody that i come across there, but most of them for sure.

once in a while i visit an all new church, and i often get dirty looks and nobody comes up to meet the new guy.
i dress according, trim up, keep a modest disposition, follow the course of mass.

now there are some very friendly and welcoming regulars there who will approach me right away, but i notice that other regulars will but right into our conversation without looking at me, and trying to divert what the friendly one is saying to me.

seems weird.

It all depends for how long you have been attending service there.

Often, it takes other people a while to accept/talk to 'strangers' no matter where they are.

If they are butting in while you converse with another person, without even so much as a 'pardon me', I would make it a point of saying 'excuse me, but we were talking privately here'. I don't tolerate this behaviour.

Still, it's the way the whole world is now. People are generally distrusting and suspicious of everybody, no matter if your intentions are honourable or not...even in Church this applies.

You will also find that the older folk are generally the warmest and the younger ones are the rudest, because people are just raised differently now.

Also, spare a thought for those who really don't want to be there!

Story time (joke story).....

It was the 1950's in the south of the USA and a young African-American boy was cleaning a Church...

It was a Church for 'white folk only' and the boy had to wait until the whole congregation had left so that he wouldn't be seen cleaning it, or they would complain to the Minister and he would lose his job.

While he was cleaning the Church, he went up to the altar and prayed...

"My dear Lord...I wish I wasn't so 'different'...I wish I could be white and attend Mass in this Church like the other people".

Then, the Lord spoke:

"You are not the only one. I wish I could attend Mass in this Church too".

All the best.

 

[buadum]

Attended a couple of funerals and baptisms in church as a guest of friends, just regular people like in our temples.

 

[ChristineES]

I am wondering one thing: Was the whole congregation rude or unfriendly to you or just one or two people? If it was just one or two people, then that would be normal in any group. I am very, very shy and I might come across as unfriendly until I get to know someone, I do try to smile at people who come into eye contact, but...

 

[Iti oj]

I have notice it depends on the demographic of the church. Church with larger younger adherants seem more open imo/e

 

[freethinker44]

Attended a couple of funerals and baptisms in church as a guest of friends, just regular people like in our temples.

I attended a funeral for a family member who went to a different church than we did, same religion just different church, and we were made to sit in a segregated area in the back of the church for friends of the family, but it quickly became clear that "friends of the family" meant anyone not a church member.

 

[Vinayaka]

Newcomers to Hinduism bring previous ideas about what a church is, so they sometimes confuse shyness (in the regulars) with rudeness. (A Hindu temple is not a social hall.) I'm sure that can happen elsewhere to. Not everyone has a personality that walks up and shakes your hand. Unl;ess someone actually states something rude to me, I don't interpret it as rude.

 

[Sand Dancer]

once in a while i visit an all new church, and i often get dirty looks and nobody comes up to meet the new guy.


seems weird.

Dirty looks? :areyoucra