Why? (Rant)

[kreeden]

I know that would impress me Sunstone .

 

[Cynic]

And think of the dressing up as using bait . It attacts more game .

I know. but see it's like playing the lottery. The more tickets you buy, the bigger chances of winning. Exceptional women are rare.

It attracts the other kind too. One girl didn't know much about me, but she asked me, "wanna get married?" (she was serious)

Don't get me wrong here . All of the above is good advice . But as for the " looking good " thing , there has been times when I personally have tried to look my worst ... I was in a " leave me alone and give me space " mood , and as strange as it may sound , that attracts people too .

IMO, it was not because you tried to dress your worst that attracted women, it was because of your attitude. The " leave me alone and give me space " mood, can easily resemble a cocky, "you can't have me" attitude, which attracts women. That's why I do this around women. I make them work, I give them a challange. I'll step forward, then take two steps back, step forward, then take two steps back.

It's not about trying to be someone else, it's about gaining skills so you will be successful in getting what you want. If you play the nice guy, you are

"shooting yourself in the foot".

The original OP was, about why jerks get the women, and I think I've explained it in my first post in this thread, and Mr. Spinkles pretty much explained it.

 

[Watcher]

I find that the most impressive thing I can do is conscientiously braid my armpit hair. It's attention to details like that that create the perfect first impression.

:biglaugh:Very nice sunstone! You must be a chick magnet!

Exceptional women are rare.

Not on RF

 

[kreeden]

I know. but see it's like playing the lottery. The more tickets you buy, the bigger chances of winning. Exceptional women are rare. .

Like I said , it is like using bait . You attract more to choose from .

It attracts the other kind too. One girl didn't know much about me, but she asked me, "wanna get married?" (she was serious) .

Them are the scarely types eh ? Yea , I have met them too .

IMO, it was not because you tried to dress your worst that attracted women, it was because of your attitude. The " leave me alone and give me space " mood, can easily resemble a cocky, "you can't have me" attitude, which attracts women. That's why I do this around women. I make them work, I give them a challange. I'll step forward, then take two steps back, step forward, then take two steps back..

That was my point . It takes all types . Although we all share many asspects , I think it kinda silly to group everyone person in the world into little pockets . Saying things like " Women like .... " , that type of thing . No doubt some do . Perhaps most do . But there are those who may not . We are indiviluals . And if you want to get to know someone , then you have to treat them as an indivilual .

It's not about trying to be someone else, it's about gaining skills so you will be successful in getting what you want. If you play the nice guy, you are The original OP was, about why jerks get the women, and I think I've explained it in my first post in this thread, and Mr. Spinkles pretty much explained it.

And as I said , we all are jerks . Sometimes , to some one . The main thing that makes these guys jerks is that they are getting the girls , and we are not . True jerks are as rare as exceptional women . Either are all that rare , depending upon your defination . Or both are extremely rare , again depending upon your defination .

 

[Cynic]

Like I said , it is like using bait . You attract more to choose from ....Them are the scarely types eh ? Yea , I have met them too .

And do people fish without bait? Otherwise, how does one expect that they are going to catch any fish? A nice guy doesn't know how to fish.

That was my point . It takes all types . Although we all share many asspects , I think it kinda silly to group everyone person in the world into little pockets . Saying things like " Women like .... " , that type of thing . No doubt some do . Perhaps most do . But there are those who may not . We are indiviluals . And if you want to get to know someone , then you have to treat them as an indivilual .

Of course.

And as I said , we all are jerks . Sometimes , to some one . The main thing that makes these guys jerks is that they are getting the girls , and we are not . True jerks are as rare as exceptional women . Either are all that rare , depending upon your defination . Or both are extremely rare , again depending upon your defination .

Well, there is a reason why they get the women. Anybody can use the same bait and use the same techniques in fishing, and you don't have to be jerk. There are baits that women don't respond to and some that they find irresistable. It's all about learning what works and what doesn't. But the nice guy who uses a hook without bait or uses bait that fish do not consistently respond to, he's not going to catch a fish unless if there is one that is really hungry, and it's going to be even harder trying to find the fish he's been looking for. Do you wanna settle with a hungry fish, or do you want to find the one that you've been looking for?

It's about techniques, and it's just like learning techniques when you go for that interview. The person who doesn't learn what and what not to do, is going to be sitting at home unemployed, wondering why he hasn't been called by any of the managers that he had interviews with. Women can be just as selective.

The OP was "why do the jerks get the women". Well, because they are using to correct bait to begin with.
Everybody uses bait, but the nice guy thinks that buying his way and being very nice, loving, and supportive is effective bait... wrong

 

[kreeden]

Cynic , you are taking my words too literally . Of course " nice guys " fish . We all do . Except perhaps for cultures that have arranged marrages , and then others fish for the couples . If we didn't " fish " we would marry the first person we met . So women fish around too . Yes , women are selective ... just like fishing eh ?

Ok , I will be blunt and stop playing around here , although it has been fun . The bottom line with this " nice guy " thing is that it is a cop-out ! I know . I have been there myself . You see , thinking that you are a nice guy puts the problem upon someone or something least . True is , the " nice guy " does attract as many women as the " jerk ", only the " nice guy " is so nervous about the whole thing that he misses the signals that the woman gives . Misses them , or is afraid that he is misreading them . So all of the " technique " in the world isn't going to help if you don't take the chance . If you don't make your move .

You do realize that " lady killers " strike out at times too ? Yea . " Technique " only goes so far . True it helps . What do you think a hunter uses ? Luck ? No , Lady-killers are masters of technique . Technique may get you the job interview , but if you aren't what the company is looking for , then it is unlikely that you will get the job .

Be yourself . Be prepared to get turned down . Hey , there are more women out there then men , so the odds are in our favor .

BTW , you ask if I would want to settle for a hungery fish , or the one I am looking for ? If you had read my post , you would know the answer to that ... finding someone that likes you , and that you like .. But again , the truth of the matter is that most people have no idea what they are looking for . They have some abstract , romanic idea , but that is about it . We just want someone ... which brings me back to arranged marrages . Ever wonder why they work ? Not all of them do , but their record is likely as good as N.A. marrages . Makes you wonder just what this thing we call love is , doesn't it ?