Why is this okay, and how sexist is it?

[samosasauce]

I hear women of all ages being called "girl". This irks me, because

a) Men are rarely if ever called "boy"

b) It shows attitudes that women are children and can't take care of themselves

I think it's very disrespectful. What do you think?

 

[Revoltingest]

Is "boy" really so rare compared to "girl"?
But if not, then you know that "boys will be boys" cuz of "testosterone poisoning".
Anyway, context is everything. "Girl" can be dismissive, but can also lack that connotation.

I recall my father, a clueless dolt even by my standards, would always refer to any female
clerical type as "the girl". He also noted 2 types of engineers at Ford...."engineers" (who are male)
& "girl engineers" (who are....you know). If you think I'm a piece of work, you should'a met him.

 

[Thief]

I call my 24yr old son.....boy.
He doesn't seem to mind.

 

[samosasauce]

I call my 24yr old son.....boy.
He doesn't seem to mind.

I don't mean in a familial way. I mean it when it is used in situations where closeness isn't a factor.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

I hear women of all ages being called "girl". This irks me, because

a) Men are rarely if ever called "boy"

b) It shows attitudes that women are children and can't take care of themselves

I think it's very disrespectful. What do you think?

I think that's why I flip the script a bit (because I'm ornery that way) when I talk to males from time to time. I specifically and intentionally call them "boys" to infantilize them.

Funny thing is, they never seem to mind.

 

[oldbadger]

I recall my father, a clueless dolt even by my standards, would always refer to any female clerical type as "the girl". He also noted 2 types of engineers at Ford...."engineers" (who are male) & "girl engineers" (who are....you know). If you think I'm a piece of work, you should'a met him.

My old man was as bad. He addressed all women under middle-age as 'Ducky' (Duckie?) and he was a bottom patter......... that's not a trade, it's a disgrace.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

I hear women of all ages being called "girl". This irks me, because

a) Men are rarely if ever called "boy"

b) It shows attitudes that women are children and can't take care of themselves

I think it's very disrespectful. What do you think?

I avoid using the term "girl" to describe someone over the age of 18.

I also try to avoid using the term "gentleman" (since its traditional meaning is "a man who does not have the 'taint of trade'" and I disagree with the idea that work is bad, and recognize that most people I know do in fact work for a living), so it may just be that I'm pedantic.

 

[4consideration]

I hear women of all ages being called "girl". This irks me, because

a) Men are rarely if ever called "boy"

b) It shows attitudes that women are children and can't take care of themselves

I think it's very disrespectful. What do you think?

It only bothers me if I think the person means something negative by it, or is attempting to gain the upper hand by the use of it.

Mostly, I don't think that's the case, so I am not often bothered by it. I'll refer to guys as boys sometimes, and I don't really mean it in a offensive way -- but I do sometimes play with terms and attitudes in a joking way -- usually in a very familiar setting, with people I have a good rapport with, and that I think know that I wouldn't really tolerate offensive behavior or terms directed toward anyone in a mean-spirited way, or intended in a generally demeaning way.

I would not use it in a business, formal, or other "serious" situation setting, though, where the situation calls for a level of professionalism, formal respect, etc. or where it might undermine a person's position in a situation.

I will also sometimes refer to other women (especially my sisters or long-time friends) as girls, even though most of them are older than me, and I'm 50.

One of my brothers uses the term girls toward us, and he also uses the term "broad" and that is definitely done to get a rise out of us, so we can spar with him. I win a lot. I think he likes it. I think it can be used affectionately at times.

 

[ChristineES]

I call my 21-year-old son a boy. But he is autistic and has the mind of a child. I believe that the majority of people who call women "girls" are trying to be offensive. A few might, but not most of them.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

I find that many young-ish adults use "girls" in the same way that they use "guys." "Girl" has more antonyms than just "boy."

 

[Willamena]

I hear women of all ages being called "girl". This irks me, because

a) Men are rarely if ever called "boy"

They are in some places, boyo.

b) It shows attitudes that women are children and can't take care of themselves

I think it's very disrespectful. What do you think?

I don't mind it, and often refer to us as girls. It's like "guys," which we girls are often referred to as also.

It's not sexism.

 

[Penumbra]

I hear women of all ages being called "girl". This irks me, because

a) Men are rarely if ever called "boy"

b) It shows attitudes that women are children and can't take care of themselves

I think it's very disrespectful. What do you think?

I have no problem with it, unless insult was obviously implied with it.

I find that many young-ish adults use "girls" in the same way that they use "guys." "Girl" has more antonyms than just "boy."

^That's exactly how I use it. Girls and Guys.

So, I don't mind being called a girl, have referred to myself and my peers interchangeably as either women or girls, and have been referred to by others as such.

I'd be mindful about where I'd use the word girl though, since I observe that some people, particularly more senior demographics, do not interpret the word in this way. I'd call teens and younger people "girls", young adults either "girls" or "women", and middle aged or older adults "women" rather than "girls".

But the terms boyfriend and girlfriend extend into old age, where men can still refer to their partners as girlfriends and women can still refer to their partners as boyfriends. Sometimes "ladyfriend" or just "partner" or "significant other". And middle aged or older women sometimes still use phrases like "girls night out" and establishments might use marketing like "girls' night".

So it's all very flexible anyway.

 

[kashmir]

I don't know, when referring to females I usually say girl, no matter how old they are.

I think I know why the "boy" seems like an insult, but wont go that route

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

I use both "boy" and "girl", boys and girls.

 

[kashmir]

I think this somehow explains it
*edit*

 

[Curious George]

I use boy and girl to refer to people of different ages. I do not see it or intend it in any sexist manner. I also have a tendency to call little boys sir and little girls ma'am. I am guilty of using the word man as in "thanks, man," but have not ever said "thanks, woman." I have certainly used the language guys to refer to both sexes, but try to refrain from doing so, because guy is often used to denote only males but not only females. And despite my prior use toward groups of males, females, or both, I can understand that most people mean male.

 

[dust1n]

I usually use guy, I think. As in guy or girl. I never really thought of it was girl or woman. I thought they were synonymous.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

I guess I'm still of the age where boy and girl doesn't really seem that big of a deal, unless it's being intentionally used as an insult.

 

[samosasauce]

I only say anything because I've seen many middle-aged women referred to as girls by men who refer to other men as "man" or "sir"

 

[dust1n]

I only say anything because I've seen many middle-aged women referred to as girls by me who refer to other men as "man" or "sir"

Oh, I'd certainly use ma'am in the same context I'd use sir.