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Why is it a sin to have sex before marriage?
- Thread starter Dezzie
- Start date
lunakilo
Well-Known Member
All the way back to the original question:
Since I am not one of the people who think this I can only speculate as to why some people think this.
In my opinion most religions to a high degree reflect the time when they where 'invented'
What people (or maybe scholars) at the time thourght of as being right was written down and became a part of that religion.
In the past if a person had sex, there was a great probability of producing a child.
If having sex meens a graet probability that you will have a child, then it seems right that you should only have sex if you are able to provide for the child/children that may come out of this.
In the past it was probably difficult for a woman to provide for a child by her selv, so for her it would make sence not to have sex unless she could be reasonable sure there was a man (possible the father) who would provide for the child.
Simply put it would be right not to have sex until the father (to be) could provide for a family.
Marriage is a way of formalizing this.
Times may change, but religions don't (or at least they change slowly).
If a religion has stated once that it is wrong to have sex before marriage, then it stays that way even if times change.
Personally I don't think having sex befor getting married is wrong. My husband and I have been togeter for almost 17 years and have 2 children ages 5 and 7. We have only been married for 2 years.
For us marriage is just a piece of paper which makes life as a family a bit easier, but in other societies or in other times it probably makes moral sense to not have sex until you are married.
Since I am not one of the people who think this I can only speculate as to why some people think this.
In my opinion most religions to a high degree reflect the time when they where 'invented'
What people (or maybe scholars) at the time thourght of as being right was written down and became a part of that religion.
In the past if a person had sex, there was a great probability of producing a child.
If having sex meens a graet probability that you will have a child, then it seems right that you should only have sex if you are able to provide for the child/children that may come out of this.
In the past it was probably difficult for a woman to provide for a child by her selv, so for her it would make sence not to have sex unless she could be reasonable sure there was a man (possible the father) who would provide for the child.
Simply put it would be right not to have sex until the father (to be) could provide for a family.
Marriage is a way of formalizing this.
Times may change, but religions don't (or at least they change slowly).
If a religion has stated once that it is wrong to have sex before marriage, then it stays that way even if times change.
Personally I don't think having sex befor getting married is wrong. My husband and I have been togeter for almost 17 years and have 2 children ages 5 and 7. We have only been married for 2 years.
For us marriage is just a piece of paper which makes life as a family a bit easier, but in other societies or in other times it probably makes moral sense to not have sex until you are married.
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MathewJames
mj
was she made of plastic
alot of silicone:bow:
The thought just occurred to me that the way the laws used to be allowed women to be flirtatious without the worry that the man would immediately seek to get what is advertised. It was understood he had to devote himself in a lifetime of commitment before he could collect the goods. Now days if a girl flirts with a guy he has it in his mind he just needs to figure out a way to get her alone to immediately collect on the goods. Thus, I believe today's society makes it far more awkward for girls to be flirtatious and enjoy their charms and beauty in an innocent way. The more fornication becomes commonplace the more girls who yet wish to reserve their virtue are robbed of the ability to be feminine. To me, I feel it in my bones to call fornication a sin for that reason. I would love it if my daughter, who is drop-dead gorgeous, could be much more free and flirtatious. But, she cannot be such today without also carrying the stigma that she should deliver the goods. And, I am exceedingly certain, there will be no shortage of young bucks who will want to collect.
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Dezzie
Well-Known Member
How do you know this? How do you know it was God that came up with the idea of marriage and not the "legal system".
History of Marriage
One source says marriage was implemented to protect bloodlines.
No, it didn't.
For most of human history, one of the greatest killers of women has been childbirth.
If God really was interested in ensuring that a child would have both a mother and a father to care for him/her, then why would he have set up a system where the mere act of becoming a mother created a significant likelihood where that child would be deprived of at least one parent?
Songbird
She rules her life like a bird in flight
Ah. You're referring to the property aspect. But many early societies demanded fidelity so a man could know with certainty his offspring were his, continuing his (honored) bloodline. Marriage was a big guarantor of fidelity. Divorce wasn't an option, so marriage wasn't for the sake of divorce - it was a business transaction or alliance between families or clans or nations. The idea of marriage based on romance was virtually non-existent before the Industrial Revolution, though there are a few examples.
Rainbow Mage
Lib Democrat/Agnostic/Epicurean-ish/Buddhist-ish
Marriage has never been about romance. Two people can live together and love each other perfectly without marriage. The Egyptians were fine without it.
Pegg
Jehovah our God is One
How do you know this? How do you know it was God that came up with the idea of marriage and not the "legal system".
History of Marriage
One source says marriage was implemented to protect bloodlines.
because the genesis account gives us information about the original first human pair who God created. As I believe this account to be literal and factual, i take my understanding of the history of marriage from there.
After God created the woman, he brought her to the man and made them a couple. This in essence is the first marriage ceremony and it set the stage for how marriage ceremonies were performed thereafter.
All over the earth in all different cultures and among people of different religious faiths we see that the marriage ceremony is very similar to the one described in Genesis.
Pegg
Jehovah our God is One
its called independence and its the legacy Adam and Eve left us.
If mankind were to remain dependent on God and God was actually governing us, then we would not have the problems we have.
Adam and Eve acting independently is something they were supposed to do. God told them they had their individual agency. We all get our individual agency from God.
Where Adam and Eve got us into a fix is because they succumbed to forces inticing them to disobey what God taught them would have negative consequences if they did disobey. It was their improper and unwise use of that agency that got us into trouble.
God wishes for us to grow up so that we don't need to depend on Him. He is our Father, not our eternal tyrant.
Dezzie
Well-Known Member
If only we had an accurate date on the Bible itself. I understand where you come from here. You have a Religious stand point. It's just hard to prove the meaning of Marriage from a book that may not even be true. Your belief is not necessarily based on 100% fact... but IS merely based on opinion. I guess it's the same for my belief as well!
lunakilo
Well-Known Member
Well if the girl is flirting but doesn't meen for it to go anywhere and the guy misunderstands, hopefully somone has taught her the word: NO.
And what if she does want it to go somewhere, and the guy to.
It would in my opinion be horrible if she was not allowed to collect his 'goods' without a lifetime of commitment to him.
Pegg
Jehovah our God is One
Jesus promoted dependence on God
Matthew 4:4 It is written, Man must live, not on bread alone, but on every utterance coming forth through Jehovahs mouth."
and the isrealites were taught that dependence on God was vital to life
Deut 8:3 So he humbled you and let you go hungry and fed you with the manna, which neither you had known nor your fathers had known; in order to make you know that not by bread alone does man live but by every expression of Jehovahs mouth does man live
And im fairly certain that if Adam and Eve had of remained dependent on God, and rejected independence, they would still be alive today. Remember, it was because of their disobedience that they were condemned to death...we cannot live dependently of God, he is our source of life.
openyourmind
Active Member
Sex before marriage can complicate the heart. When your young and think you know everything you jump before you look. This leave many people (mostly women) left feeling hurt and used. How many times have you heard women say all men are dogs, they only want one thing. Where do you think they got this image. Giving of yourself is the most personal and prized gift. Only you can give it, people that easily give themselves and are left feeling used hold on to that pain. This emotional scaring can cause low self esteem and resentment of others. If you are unable to see past the sins of former partners you will carry it on to the next one or over look the good intentions of the "Good Ones". It can be a never ending pattern of bad choices in partners. There are plenty of good people out there that don't want a person that has been around a lot. Which would leave you with only users. However, if you are a person that has no moral objection to being used then this is no problem for you. Or, being with a mate that's had dozens of partners you should be fine. Ladies I'll tell you men know if your willing to give it up and how easy you will be. I use to decide before I would approach a woman my full intentions. If you want to know how much they value you, then you would wait (sensitive men should wait as well). If we only want one thing we will be out quick and push the issue.
Sex before marriage is a sin because of the pain that can come with it. It is a statement of your self worth. A person that will wait for you shows the value they have for you and willingness to make sure you completely happy not just a passing night.
Sex before marriage is a sin because of the pain that can come with it. It is a statement of your self worth. A person that will wait for you shows the value they have for you and willingness to make sure you completely happy not just a passing night.
lunakilo
Well-Known Member
What this all boils down to is that it is a bad idea to have sex if the people who are having sex do not agree on why they are having sex.
If one person is just having fun and the other is under the impression that they are going to be together forever, then there is a problem.
But if both agree that they are in a lasting relationship or alternativle that they are just doing this for fun, there is no problem.
Does that meen that sex before marrige that doesn't cause pain is NOT a sin?
Caladan
Agnostic Pantheist
I call it 'practice'.
It is considered a 'Mitzva' or a commandment in Jewish tradition to perfect your sexual life with your partner and mate. however this is where I and most religious Jews depart, as they want this perfection only to exit in the frame of marriage, while I made sure to bring further experience into the package.
I can tell you one thing. no modern man would be that interested in developing a sex life with an inexperienced virgin.
You want her to know how to pleasure you, just like she wants you to be able to pleasure her.
chinu
chinu
Reason first: You cannot control yourself, Means you are loosing your will power by doing this.
Reason second: The face of sex is downwards, So the person who use to enjoy sex more than necessary can never learn to lift his/her energy upwards, So the "Soul" of such person can never come out from the gravitional force through which we are attached to this mother earth, In simple such person can never attain salvation even if he/she is helped by any master or guru.
Reason third: Somebody is looking for your virginity.
Kindly Note 1st: The usage of sex more than necessary is only bad, The reasonable contacts made for the sake of childrens or made after mentaining the sufficient time gap are not so harmful.
Kindly Note 2nd : Reason third is not applicable for the people who aspect virginity from others, Anyhow even than i will recommend if one can mentain, it is good because it gives many subtle benifits which are hard to explain in word.
_/\_
Chinu
Interesting that Jesus' quote of Deuteronomy doesn't match the original text: it turns "does" to "must".
Kinda relevant here: it changes a verse where God merely describes the current situation into one where God is giving a command.
They might be, but we would not.
I see it differently. In the framework of the story, Adam does not only give death to humanity; he gives us life, both literally (by fathering humanity) and spiritually (by being responsible for our moral sense). Adam is the new Prometheus: he steals a prize from the God(s) and shares it, thereby bestowing humanity on human beings.
I think that message is a bit oversold. Speaking for myself (and hypothetically, since I'm married with no plans to change this), my partner's sexual history would never be a "dealbreaker" either way. Whether she's slept with thousands of people or has never slept with anyone, if the connection is there, things will work out. And if the connection isn't there, things won't work even if she's got the exact right amount of sexual experience (if such a thing exists at all).
