Why is God doing this to me? I have suffered, enough.

[YeshuaRedeemed]

I have been suicidal for one year now, and think about suicide, everyday. i am not responding to medication, and getting worse. I have prayed time and again, for releif, but God makes more garbage happen. to make me that much closer, to killing, myself. i can't get help, and my mother, won't take me to the hospital, because of that God damn virus, and the government is shutting everything down. My healthcare provider is refusing to see me, and the only way out, is for me, to kill myself. What God is doing to me, is cruel, and I have the right, to not be miserable. This is child abuse. Jesus had a choice, i don't.

 

[Kenny]

I have been suicidal for one year now, and think about suicide, everyday. i am not responding to medication, and getting worse. I have prayed time and again, for releif, but God makes more garbage happen. to make me that much closer, to killing, myself. i can't get help, and my mother, won't take me to the hospital, because of that God damn virus, and the government is shutting everything down. My healthcare provider is refusing to see me, and the only way out, is for me, to kill myself. What God is doing to me, is cruel, and I have the right, to not be miserable. This is child abuse. Jesus had a choice, i don't.

Have you ever considered that it isn't God doing this to you? But rather the thief that comes to steal, kill and destroy?

God wants you free but there is a fight of faith that we have to fight.

Will life you up and Yeshua did not redeem you to then let you down.

 

[YeshuaRedeemed]

I am listening. I love Jesus, but i don't understand my Lord.

 

[Kenny]

2 Cor 10:3 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh:
4 (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds
5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
6 And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.

Praying for you!

 

[Kenny]

Think of it this way...

A Mark 4 journey... let's take this journey together...

 

[Kenny]

First... please take note that the Devil, Satan, the enemy is VERY scared of you and wants to get you out of the picture. As in any warfare... as soon as you take a mountain the order is "Dig in!" because they know there will be a counter attack.

You are now the light, the light of Jesus and Satan is trying to counter attack...

Let's start here:

14 The sower soweth the word.
15 And these are they by the way side, where the word is sown; but when they have heard, Satan cometh immediately, and taketh away the word that was sown in their hearts.

Please note:

It isn't so much you or me that Satan is after but rather the word that is sown into your heart. It is only the word of God that has the power to give life to you and deliver you!

The Word of God in our hearts are effective weapons that will destroy every attack from the enemy.

Notice that you have to hide God's word in your heart and if Satan can make you believe that the Word of God has no power, as he hardens our heart, then he comes and robs the very word that will deliver us.

Any questions so far? Is that understandable?

 

[exchemist]

I have been suicidal for one year now, and think about suicide, everyday. i am not responding to medication, and getting worse. I have prayed time and again, for releif, but God makes more garbage happen. to make me that much closer, to killing, myself. i can't get help, and my mother, won't take me to the hospital, because of that God damn virus, and the government is shutting everything down. My healthcare provider is refusing to see me, and the only way out, is for me, to kill myself. What God is doing to me, is cruel, and I have the right, to not be miserable. This is child abuse. Jesus had a choice, i don't.

If you need to go to hospital you should go. There is no reason why coronavirus should prevent you getting any treatment you need.

In the UK, the hospitals are getting really alarmed that people who are quite ill have stopped coming. They fear, indeed, there could be more deaths from people who don't want to cause them trouble during this crisis, or who fear catching the disease in hospital. They are keen to stress they are still open and you can safely go. I am quite sure the same will be true where you are.

 

[Father Heathen]

Suicide hotline: 1-800-273-8255

 

[PureX]

I have been suicidal for one year now, and think about suicide, everyday. i am not responding to medication, and getting worse. I have prayed time and again, for releif, but God makes more garbage happen. to make me that much closer, to killing, myself. i can't get help, and my mother, won't take me to the hospital, because of that God damn virus, and the government is shutting everything down. My healthcare provider is refusing to see me, and the only way out, is for me, to kill myself. What God is doing to me, is cruel, and I have the right, to not be miserable. This is child abuse. Jesus had a choice, i don't.

God isn't doing anything to you. Some mechanism inside you is malfunctioning, and you are allowing yourself to succumb to it's ill effects. Since you are stuck without access to professional help for the time being, you're going to have to find it within you not to allow yourself to succumb to the effects of this ailment (whatever it is). Somehow, you're going to have to recognize that these effects are just that: the effects of an illness. And look for ways of mitigating their power over you.

In times of great emotional/psychological stress in my past, I discovered that repetition was most helpful. Rocking my body back and forth, repeating words or phrases, and pacing, seemed to be pretty effective. They helped me ignore the raging gibberish in my head. Also, practicing at imagining an invisible, impermeable security field around me helped, too. I imagined that it separated me from the 'crazy' and that while inside it, I was safe. Especially when I was trying to fall asleep.

Hang in there friend, I know you possess the ability to overcome this.

 

[sun rise]

Suicide hotline: 1-800-273-8255

To repeat, please call them

1-800-273-8255

Also, you can visit

Suicide Prevention Lifeline

 

[Unveiled Artist]

Here is something I found that may help
Christian Suicide Prevention
The Christian suicide prevention chat & text line

"Because you have kept my word about patient endurance, I will keep you from the hour of trial that is coming on the whole world, to try those who dwell on the earth." Revelation 3:10

Take care of yourself.

 

[74x12]

I have been suicidal for one year now, and think about suicide, everyday. i am not responding to medication, and getting worse. I have prayed time and again, for releif, but God makes more garbage happen. to make me that much closer, to killing, myself. i can't get help, and my mother, won't take me to the hospital, because of that God damn virus, and the government is shutting everything down. My healthcare provider is refusing to see me, and the only way out, is for me, to kill myself. What God is doing to me, is cruel, and I have the right, to not be miserable. This is child abuse. Jesus had a choice, i don't.

Recognize that depression and anxiety are ultimately a choice of mind. You have to recognize depression when it's trying to get in at the door and absolutely refuse to let it in. It takes effort of mind but push it out and say no. Then shut the door so it can't come back. This requires strength of will because there is a part of our mind that actually really; secretly wants to give in. That part of our mind actually enjoys depression. Why? Because we like to feel sorry for ourselves. But once we give in; we always regret it; because it hurts way worse than we thought it would. And anxiety is best friends with depression. You let depression in and anxiety comes along. It's not fun even though it might seem fun at first.

I know how you feel because I've been there in deep depression and also anxiety. So this way of thinking has helped me.

No longer let how you feel effect what you think. Because your thoughts will eventually change the way you feel. So if you think positively then your feelings will also change in time.

No longer think of the future or the past. Why should what has happened to you in the past torture you now that it is gone? And why should you worry about what might happen in the future? Because we're often more tortured in imagination than what happens in reality.

So we should be like the rock that the waves continually crash over and the sea goes calm around it.

Ask yourself why you can't take one more step? Only right now in this very moment; what is so hard that you can't endure it?

That's how you have to retrain your mind to think. So differentiate between what is in your control and what is not. If something is out of your control like the past or the future then you don't allow yourself to worry about it. As for what is in your control. You do what you can and the rest is out of your hands.

 

[Trailblazer]

New I am listening. I love Jesus, but i don't understand my Lord.

If it is any comfort to you, neither do I.
Maybe we could try to understand together.

I have been where you are many times so I truly understand. But I am not there right now so maybe I can help.

 

[Sunstone]

@YeshuaRedeemed, please do me a personal favor and call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. Will you do that for me? I would be deeply grateful to you. Just tell them what you have told us. They need to hear it.

 

[gnomon]

I have been suicidal for one year now, and think about suicide, everyday. i am not responding to medication, and getting worse. I have prayed time and again, for releif, but God makes more garbage happen. to make me that much closer, to killing, myself. i can't get help, and my mother, won't take me to the hospital, because of that God damn virus, and the government is shutting everything down. My healthcare provider is refusing to see me, and the only way out, is for me, to kill myself. What God is doing to me, is cruel, and I have the right, to not be miserable. This is child abuse. Jesus had a choice, i don't.

Call the helpline. 1-800-273-8255. Call them. Everyone here is listening. They will as well.

And I ask just one favor. Say hello to us as soon as you can.