Unveiled Artist
Veteran Member
I thought about writing a journal entry of why I left Christianity. The purpose is to express how I came to the values and beliefs I have today. It is also to express what I learned from Christianity and how has it helped me see spirituality in a good way even though I stopped practicing. I am wondering if you have some of the same experiences. Also, without debating what is right and what is wrong, what were your experiences and decisions based on--specifically?
I will warn you, this is long (Sub-points are in red; description are in quotes). I will try to make it easier to go through and highlight points for each section:
Why I left Christianity?
I left Christianity because of fellowship.
Let me make this clear without debate. I believe that the Catholic Church has the true view of the relationship with Christ. Catholicism in general (Orthodox and Roman) participate in their relationship with Christ. It is more just faith.
How did I came to the values and beliefs I have today.
My values and beliefs were actually, coincidentally, shaped by my former faith and practice of Christianity.
I learned about the importance of practice and participation with like-minded people.
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I left Christianity because I felt I was using Christ once I realize a year later what it really meant to be a Christian.
It's interesting what you learn in spirituality. May the spirits be willing to teach me more about myself and my relation to others. May the spirits help me understand other beliefs without bias. May the spirits help me being me. I know I am a Buddha and have a Buddha-nature. Christianity made me feel as if I did not. I am worthy of everything that life brings to me and the spirits show in myself and in others. My ancestral spirits and recently passed relatives are part of the spirits that contribute to my well being. My practice of Zen helps me center myself without depending on labels to define who I am by what is not important to me. It helps me to not see myself (rather than charactersitics I learned) as soemone and something else. To see inside of me as a pure person of body, soul, and mind.
Nothing special; nothing supernatural, everything comes from reality and nature. I could not see this without the values many pagans mirror. There are a lot of beliefs in me.
Another reason I left Christianity is that these beliefs in me are squashed (who I am) by what I am told I should be. Our Buddha nature is not shaped by others and beings, but is shaped by who we are already. Without our being a Buddha, who are we? How do we live without knowing Who we are to ourselves and not to others?
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I am happy and surprised if you have read all of this.
Thank you for taking the time to do so.
I will warn you, this is long (Sub-points are in red; description are in quotes). I will try to make it easier to go through and highlight points for each section:
- Why I left Christianity?
- How did I came to the values and beliefs I have today
Why I left Christianity?
I left Christianity because of fellowship.
When you are in any religion, there should be fellowship between each person. Although we differ in preferences and how we interpret scripture, there has to be a unison of what we believe--the core of the matter and how we approach that belief to help others. We need to be sensitive to other peoples' ways of worship to Christ. We also need to accept that these practices are different than our own; and, these practices help one's relationship with Christ not make them "not a Christian anymore."
I left Christianity because of some of the tenants of the Catholic Church.There is no fellowship among Christians these days; and, it is harmful because Jesus promoted ministry and brotherhood. I cannot be a Christian without fellowship. Jesus never supported that; so, that would be something I wouldn't be comfortable with.
When you have a relationship with Jesus, you must have a relationship with His Body. Without His body, there is no relationship. Where there is more than one person, I am here. Matt. 18:20
The Body does not have to be in a specific denomination. Your family can mirror you and you'd be in Christ body through them. Like believers in study groups are one Body. The Church is one Body. All are In Christ.
Let me make this clear without debate. I believe that the Catholic Church has the true view of the relationship with Christ. Catholicism in general (Orthodox and Roman) participate in their relationship with Christ. It is more just faith.
I left Christianity because of it's history and Jesus' discrimination against faiths that differ than His Father's.For example, they believe that you are not fully Christian (do not have the full experience of relationship with Christ) because you are not part of the Church (aka taken all of the sacraments Christ commanded a Christian to take)
That is an insult to any Christian who is not Catholic because they are saying that non-Catholics are not Christians. While I do agree that one must take the sacraments of the Church (baptism, communion, repentance, confirmation), many people appreciate these sacraments in different ways: Baptism and communion of the heart, repentance to God without the aid not blessings from the priest, and individual (rather than congregational) acceptance by saying he or she wants Jesus to be his or her Lord and Savior.
All faiths I know of have a violent history based on it's beliefs. However, unlike Christianity, their tenants do not punish those who differ then they are implied or not.
I also do not want to be associated with any type of murder--regardless the intent--on behalf of the very person who gives love and justice.
How did I came to the values and beliefs I have today.
My values and beliefs were actually, coincidentally, shaped by my former faith and practice of Christianity.
I learned about the importance of practice and participation with like-minded people.
I learned a lot by taking the sacraments Christ gave His body.When I go to Mass, and enter the sanctuary, I make the sign of the cross. To me, that action is an act of gratitude for coming to Mass, participating in His Body, and being in Union by prayer, by Word, and by meal. It is like bowing to someone you just met (depending on culture). I learned that without this inner gratitude and welcome before one comes to practice, it is rude. It is like coming to someone and not saying Hello first.
Mass, Bible study, and so forth helped a lot too.
I learned about the beauty of emptying yourself so you can be clear of mind, spirit, and body through the sacrament of confession.I learned in Baptism that to die to one's sins, one needs to be Baptized in the Holy Spirit. So, in a general sense for all to relate, it is like dying to your habits you find immoral to reconnect with yourself and others in a more personal way. It made me think of what this actually meant. Without Baptism, I would have never "figured it out." For some reason the act and participation of being saved was more intense than just having faith to do so.
All the sacraments of the Church (in Christianity) are beautiful. This is what I learned from having a relationship with Christ.I remember my first confession where the priest spent almost three hours with me helping me to see things how God would see them. Although I don't believe in God as a person, that feeling of being forgiven and being understood in itself is a wonderful feeling. Having an authority of the Church (by role) to help me through it was beautiful. I would never forget that.
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I left Christianity because I felt I was using Christ once I realize a year later what it really meant to be a Christian.
I left Christianity because it made me feel worse than I did before I was a Christian.I was raised to where we do things for ourselves. If we help each other, there is no need for a returned favor (as in worship) just respect. You must believe Jesus died for you literally. You can't die in Him unless you believe literally He died for you.
It did not have to do specifically with the Catholic Church. When you think of your sins (the passion), you impersonate it. You really make yourself feel you need to be saved when a lot of sins are habits we can change (which some habits or sins I have without Christ). You start thinking, I need to ask forgiveness every time I sin. It puts a burden on your shoulder when you always feel you need to be saved. I was not raised that way. If one does not feel they need to be saved, why put time and energy into someone who says they did when for me it was not necessary; why take the offer?
It's interesting what you learn in spirituality. May the spirits be willing to teach me more about myself and my relation to others. May the spirits help me understand other beliefs without bias. May the spirits help me being me. I know I am a Buddha and have a Buddha-nature. Christianity made me feel as if I did not. I am worthy of everything that life brings to me and the spirits show in myself and in others. My ancestral spirits and recently passed relatives are part of the spirits that contribute to my well being. My practice of Zen helps me center myself without depending on labels to define who I am by what is not important to me. It helps me to not see myself (rather than charactersitics I learned) as soemone and something else. To see inside of me as a pure person of body, soul, and mind.
Nothing special; nothing supernatural, everything comes from reality and nature. I could not see this without the values many pagans mirror. There are a lot of beliefs in me.
Another reason I left Christianity is that these beliefs in me are squashed (who I am) by what I am told I should be. Our Buddha nature is not shaped by others and beings, but is shaped by who we are already. Without our being a Buddha, who are we? How do we live without knowing Who we are to ourselves and not to others?
--
I am happy and surprised if you have read all of this.
Thank you for taking the time to do so.