Spiderman
Veteran Member
Falling in love hurts for me because I don't actually fall in love with the person but fall in love with a fantasy of who I think she is and then I deify the poor girl and worship the ground she walks on (plus I'm high on drugs all the time).
So I don't actually love her, I just love who I think she is. So, I'm trying to develop a true type of agape love for the woman who got a restraining order against me where I want what's best for her to the point that I would wear a crown of thorns, be scourged, beaten, bruised, knifed, mocked, spit on, and nailed to a cross for her to have a happy life in this one and be euphoric in the next; that she be blissful and reach the first degree of perfection, beauty, wisdom, knowledge, power, and glory for all eternity.
I'm not to the point where I love her with that kind of love which involves extreme sacrifice. What makes me attached to her is I fell three stories onto concrete for her. I literally "fell" in love. That's way more special than losing my virginity hahaha. I won't be able to run long distances again as a result of meeting her and I used to run 12 miles straight and running was my favorite thing to do. So I'm always reminded of her for the rest of my life. Plus, her name comes from someone who was a reject in Scripture who spiritual writers say represents the cross, afflictions, and suffering.
I feel like we met for a reason and that it was God's providence, the work of a malevolent spirit, or both. This lead to an obsession with her and now a desire to suffer and die for her that she be enlightened, find unity with God, find true wisdom, and find true happiness for all eternity.
Anyway, how or why does falling in love hurt for you or has it in the past?
So I don't actually love her, I just love who I think she is. So, I'm trying to develop a true type of agape love for the woman who got a restraining order against me where I want what's best for her to the point that I would wear a crown of thorns, be scourged, beaten, bruised, knifed, mocked, spit on, and nailed to a cross for her to have a happy life in this one and be euphoric in the next; that she be blissful and reach the first degree of perfection, beauty, wisdom, knowledge, power, and glory for all eternity.
I'm not to the point where I love her with that kind of love which involves extreme sacrifice. What makes me attached to her is I fell three stories onto concrete for her. I literally "fell" in love. That's way more special than losing my virginity hahaha. I won't be able to run long distances again as a result of meeting her and I used to run 12 miles straight and running was my favorite thing to do. So I'm always reminded of her for the rest of my life. Plus, her name comes from someone who was a reject in Scripture who spiritual writers say represents the cross, afflictions, and suffering.
I feel like we met for a reason and that it was God's providence, the work of a malevolent spirit, or both. This lead to an obsession with her and now a desire to suffer and die for her that she be enlightened, find unity with God, find true wisdom, and find true happiness for all eternity.
Anyway, how or why does falling in love hurt for you or has it in the past?
