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Featured Why do we always think....

Discussion in 'Religions Q&A' started by Amanaki, Jun 1, 2019.

  1. Amanaki

    Amanaki Well-Known Member

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    Why do we always think that is everyone else who must change, and not our self?
    Honestly, life is changing all the time, and we must be able to see where we need to change ourselves too.
    Do we need to make a critique of others beliefs or where they come from?

    Maybe one day it is our self that is in trouble and needs a new place to live, would we like if we come to a new country, and was looked down at, or was mistreated just because we looked different?

    We are all human beings, so why can we not treat others as the same?
     
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  2. SalixIncendium

    SalixIncendium सच्चितानन्द
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    I bet I know what thread inspired this post! :D

    But I digress. While I'm not sure this is always the case as the OP implies, as I see it, intolerance as a result of ego makes one think one is somehow better than another or others.
     
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  3. shunyadragon

    shunyadragon Veteran Member
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    My personal journey is a commitment to change, therefore . . .

    . . . everything is in pencil, and I carry a big eraser.
     
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  4. SalixIncendium

    SalixIncendium सच्चितानन्द
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    Changing others or changing yourself?
     
  5. AT-AT

    AT-AT Well-Known Member

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    I finally figured out what direction I should go, when I studied the revelations of the Baha'i faith
    What groups do you perceive as having this behavior?
     
  6. Nakosis

    Nakosis crystal soldier
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    If folks aren't happy, I feel they ought to change, for their sake, not mine. If I'm not happy with the way things are then I ought to change.

    I don't know, maybe being happy isn't important to some people.

    My beliefs make me happy, your beliefs make you happy, then we are all good as far as I'm concerned.
     
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  7. leov

    leov Well-Known Member
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    As I understand a some portion of us is sill bicameral. It is controlled.
     
  8. Vinayaka

    Vinayaka devotee
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    I don't think it's always the case at all. Even within the same person, sometimes he might think others should change, and at other times he gets that it is he. There's a range within individuals. For some reason, this reminds me of coaching young athletes. Some were incredibly coachable, whereas others simply weren't. But I think you hit the nail on the head in ego.
     
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  9. Amanaki

    Amanaki Well-Known Member

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    I did not point at a group :) but some people seem to dislike people who are not exactly like them self. And i can not understand it, because i see humans as humans no matter where they come from, or what religion or cultur they have.
     
  10. AT-AT

    AT-AT Well-Known Member

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    I finally figured out what direction I should go, when I studied the revelations of the Baha'i faith
    That's interesting. As for me, I'm very hard on myself - and if I wasn't, I would never have recovered from the slump I got in.
     
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  11. SalixIncendium

    SalixIncendium सच्चितानन्द
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    By what?
     
  12. leov

    leov Well-Known Member
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    Archons.
     
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  13. Vinayaka

    Vinayaka devotee
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    Sorry to hear that. I used to beat myself up as well. Be careful with it. Fine lines there.
     
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  14. SalixIncendium

    SalixIncendium सच्चितानन्द
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    I'm often my own worst critic, but as @Vinayaka alluded to, there is a fine line between where self-judgment is productive and when it leads to unneeded suffering.

    Of course, my dharma involves holding myself to a certain standard with respect to a living a virtuous life, but I realize that I can only do my best, and that my best varies depending on the circumstance.
     
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  15. Quintessence

    Quintessence Tale Weaver
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    We do? :confused:

    Honestly, I don't know many people who think this at all. Probably because one does not get very far in life with such an attitude. Nearly all children in my country go through some sort of public schooling. If they carry this sort of attitude, no child who stubbornly insists they don't need to adhere to various rules and limits will succeed. And no adult who stubbornly insists this succeeds either. It is asking the impossible.

    But I get the impression that what you're really trying to get at here relates more to the follies of passing judgement. That humans pass judgement does not mean they think "everyone else" must change and not themselves. In many cases, they are simply expressing their values. Maybe simply to communicate, maybe to find others of kindred spirit, and maybe sometimes to try and destroy those who disagree. It just depends. But unless one lack values - and I haven't met a human who does - one will pass judgement based on those values one way or another. Values differ, and thus conflicts are inevitable And that isn't a bad thing. Life would be painfully boring if everyone was the same and there was no conflict.
     
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  16. Epic Beard Man

    Epic Beard Man Bearded Philosopher

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    You asked:
    Then you asked:

    My grand-father was a southern boy in Mississippi in the early 1900's. Hardships and many nights of struggles he endured to be a man who was able to work and provide for his family. Until one day some klansman decided that he was unfit to live among other human beings because of the way he looked. Fast forward from that time to the time of Malcolm and MLK and the civil rights era I'd say I think its a good thing to ask others to change. In fact when the behavior becomes toxic it is imperative to ask others to change. When you asked why human beings can't treat others the same is because we are all not the same. What you mean is why can't human treat each other with respect.
     
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  17. Amanaki

    Amanaki Well-Known Member

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    I still stand by my OP but i really do understand your view too :) i would say yes i could have phrased my question differently :)
     
  18. sun rise

    sun rise "Let there be peace and love among all"
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    As @Epic Beard Man points out, how one asks this question is important. It's human nature to think that I'm right and you should agree with me. People with true humility, who treat others with respect, will not operate from an automatic I'm right/you're wrong point of view but be thoughtful about our own errors.

    But there are situations where we have to understand deeply what is really going on. I like the way C. S. Lewis put it in "The Great Divorce":

    "Ye must distinguish. The action of Pity will live for ever: but the passion of Pity will not. The passion of pity, the pity we merely suffer, the ache that draws men to concede what should not be conceded and to flatter when they should speak truth, the pity that has cheated many a woman out of her virginity and many a statesman out of his honesty-that will die. It was used as a weapon by bad men against good ones: their weapon will be broken."

    "And what is the other kind-the action?"

    "It's a weapon on the other side. It leaps quicker than light from the highest place to the lowest to bring healing and joy, whatever the cost to itself. It changes darkness into light and evil into good. But it will not, at the cunning tears of Hell, impose on good the tyranny of evil. Every disease that submits to a cure shall be cured: but we will not call blue yellow to please those who insist on still having jaundice, nor make a midden of the world's garden for the sake of some who cannot abide the smell of roses."
     
  19. RedDragon94

    RedDragon94 Feeling Cynical

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    Cause we want to *be* right all the time and we deceive ourselves into thinking that we are infallible. No one is.
    No. I don't think so, I used to.
    Exactly. All deserve to have dignity.
     
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  20. Brickjectivity

    Brickjectivity Veteran Member
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    To change one must first be someone, and a lot of people have not learned how to be themselves. There is a maturing process which can be interrupted by traumas, by isolation and by other problems. Then the person lacks a reference. For example suppose a person has borderline personality disorder. This means they can't or can't easily get past the pain of their situations to be themselves to the degree that they don't recognize their own selves and don't know what they want. Then they have no way to measure their needs for change. Their focus has to be on becoming someone before they will have the freedom to become someone else.
     
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