In the heat of debate, why do some of you feel the need to behave like a jerk or be disrespectful to get your point across?
I've been in heated debates, while I occasionally resort to sarcasm or snark either to get my point across or to inject humor, I do my best to maintain a level of respect for the person with which I'm engaged.
I wonder why others here struggle to do the same. Would you walk up to someone on the street and speak with someone the way you do here? I'm sure some of you would have your bell rung for the lack of respect you display here if you displayed such in real life.
Is it because you have a degree of anonymity here?
Does behaving like a jerk to others somehow make you feel better about yourself?
I don't really care that much about "nice," per se. Some people use being nice as some kind of mask, but then there are the opposite types who use being a jerk as some kind of mask to hide their true thoughts and feelings. It's so juvenile, and that's what baffles me. I would rather that people just be honest and upfront, no matter if they're being jerks or being nice.
There have been times where I might post something, and someone responds in a rather snarky or jerky tone. I don't mind that part so much, especially if I've angered or triggered someone. I might even feel a bit guilty myself, if someone is mad at me or that I've upset them somehow. So, my first inclination is to try to make amends, and in order to do this, I need to inquire as to why the person is upset or angry with me. For some reason, this appears to make them even more angry, and then eventually, I start to become angry, too. Not because they're angry or being jerks, but because they refuse to state their reasons or the source of their anger.
If people would simply explain themselves and what makes them tick, there would be far fewer problems. Fewer people would actually mind an insufferable jerk if and when they understand the reasons for it. In many cases, it might be that they're just drunk. Or maybe they have some sort of psychological or medical condition, such as brain damage or other kinds of trauma they're working out. Like if you see some disheveled individual walking down the street shouting expletives to himself, then the typical person might not be all that angry or upset - because they would view that individual as being clearly mentally troubled or emotionally unbalanced, even though he's also being a total jerk.
But because people can see the reason(s)
why he's being a jerk, it's not really quite so upsetting or bothersome to the average person.