Why Can't You Just Be Nice?

[Trailblazer]

In the heat of debate, why do some of you feel the need to behave like a jerk or be disrespectful to get your point across?

If/when people do that it is Ego.

I wonder why others here struggle to do the same. Would you walk up to someone on the street and speak with someone the way you do here? I'm sure some of you would have your bell rung for the lack of respect you display here if you displayed such in real life.

Is it because you have a degree of anonymity here?

Yes, I think that is why they do what they do here and what they would not dare do. This does not apply to the internet because it was written long before there was an internet, but regarding people believing that religion is their own private property, what you said reminded me of a little excerpt from a Baha'i quote that reads as follows.
"They attack with masked faces, not daring to come forth into the light of day." (Paris Talks, p. 103)

Does behaving like a jerk to others somehow make you feel better about yourself?

Apparently it does for those who act that way.

 

[stvdv]

That is a stupid question. He didn't say anything like I was that way as an infant, just God made him that way

You probably think whichever 'happy clappy philosophy' you follow develops the mind. The reverse is true they shut the mind down

I see.

Thank you for your clarification.

That clarifies a lot

 

[Trailblazer]

There really is no need to be a jerk.

No, not if they have a good argument or belief that stands on its own merit.... I
It is when they do not have any such thing that they resort to pot shots...

It is funny to watch because it is so obvious what they are doing and why and it is totally predictable.

 

[Darkforbid]

I see.

Thank you for your clarification.

That clarifies a lot

Obviously it didn't

 

[stvdv]

Can't say my verbal skills were as honed as they are now, 60 years later.

But my family likes telling stories about how difficult I was starting as an infant.
Do you find that surprising?
Tom

No, I was also difficult in certain areas to my parents. They think I am even more difficult now. Communication was always a big issue in our family

 

[stvdv]

Obviously it didn't

Oh, you surprise me.
Care to elaborate?

 

[Revoltingest]

I ran into a guy like that here once. We were like oil and vinegar. Even @Revoltingest couldn't stand him.

...He doesn't come around much anymore.

Aye, some people.

 

[stvdv]

I boast at having no warnings on my record, but I also have difficulty thinking up clever smack-downs. I wish I could.

Always be careful what you wish for, I was taught. God can grant it to you, maybe you don't like it.

First thought "Maybe clever smack-downs come with other habits you rather don't have"

 

[Darkforbid]

Oh, you surprise me.
Care to elaborate?

Because 'That clarifies a lot' usually leads people sharing there new found clarity

 

[stvdv]

Because 'That clarifies a lot' usually leads people sharing there new found clarity

Some clarity I gain is useful for myself
Some clarity I gain I share

 

[Dan From Smithville]

In the heat of debate, why do some of you feel the need to behave like a jerk or be disrespectful to get your point across?

I've been in heated debates, while I occasionally resort to sarcasm or snark either to get my point across or to inject humor, I do my best to maintain a level of respect for the person with which I'm engaged.

I wonder why others here struggle to do the same. Would you walk up to someone on the street and speak with someone the way you do here? I'm sure some of you would have your bell rung for the lack of respect you display here if you displayed such in real life.

Is it because you have a degree of anonymity here?

Does behaving like a jerk to others somehow make you feel better about yourself?

I try, but I am weak.

Sometimes I tailor my responses to the attitude that permeates the posts I am responding to. The problem is that the employment of that can become pervasive if one is not careful.

 

[Darkforbid]

Some clarity I gain is useful for myself
Some clarity I gain I share

I wouldn't buy that for a dollar

 

[Evangelicalhumanist]

Sometimes debate gets extremely, almost toxically, frustrating. And almost all the times that this happens is when the two sides routinely (or even ritualistically) ignore some points on the other side that really should be a strong part of the argument.

A very good example might be the questions, that we're seeing argued in the current Democratic race for nomination, around climate change versus economic costs, or healthcare for all versus economic costs.

Those concerned with the economic costs (job losses, rising prices, etc.) of either climate change or universal healthcare never address the well-attested facts that the climate is changing, and that there are going to be very terrible long-term effects, or that many people (thousands each year) die simply because they lacked access to quality healthcare.

Those concerned with either climate change or healthcare, likewise completely ignore the very well-attested facts that there will be economic costs, and that these will cause hardship and misery for some.

And here's my point -- if each side could at least ACKNOWLEDGE the very real concerns of the other side -- and then try to frame their arguments so as to provide some recognition and possible amelioration of those concerns while defending their own position -- we might all well make a lot more progress in our debates.

But we don't. We continue, almost relentlessly, not to see the other side. And that's a pity.

 

[stvdv]

I wouldn't buy that for a dollar

Hence I did not share

 

[Darkforbid]

Hence I did not share

You had nothing to share

 

[Dan From Smithville]

In the heat of debate, why do some of you feel the need to behave like a jerk or be disrespectful to get your point across?

I've been in heated debates, while I occasionally resort to sarcasm or snark either to get my point across or to inject humor, I do my best to maintain a level of respect for the person with which I'm engaged.

I wonder why others here struggle to do the same. Would you walk up to someone on the street and speak with someone the way you do here? I'm sure some of you would have your bell rung for the lack of respect you display here if you displayed such in real life.

Is it because you have a degree of anonymity here?

Does behaving like a jerk to others somehow make you feel better about yourself?

Anonymity probably facilitates the action, but even here, there are limitations to the freedom of that condition.

One thing that sets me off is the presentation of personal opinions expressed as universal truths that I am an idiot for not recognizing and embracing without question. Another is to promote information that is clearly incorrect. Especially when the correct information is widely available and easily accessible. When attempts to correct erroneous notions are ignored, it can be even more frustrating. Often, I eventually begin ignoring those posters. Continued response depends on a number of reasons.

I know an instance where a poster continually labelled reasonable opposition to his personal opinion as personal attack against him. Even pointing that out was labelled as personal attack.

I determined that there was no point to respond to that poster. Though repudiating points as open, indirect address to specifics can be posted.

Apparently, some level of sarcasm in response to some people is part of my nature. It could be argued as a diversity issue.

 

[gnomon]

In the heat of debate, why do some of you feel the need to behave like a jerk or be disrespectful to get your point across?

I've been in heated debates, while I occasionally resort to sarcasm or snark either to get my point across or to inject humor, I do my best to maintain a level of respect for the person with which I'm engaged.

I wonder why others here struggle to do the same. Would you walk up to someone on the street and speak with someone the way you do here? I'm sure some of you would have your bell rung for the lack of respect you display here if you displayed such in real life.

Is it because you have a degree of anonymity here?

Does behaving like a jerk to others somehow make you feel better about yourself?

So you resort to sarcasm and snark ..... but you don't appreciate that response in your posts.

Is it because you have a degree in self importance?

 

[Dan From Smithville]

This isn't really what I'm talking about. I see nothing wrong with a heated debate tempered with a bit of sarcasm.

But there are those that resort to attacking someones character or write something with the intent to belittle. These are the sort of posts I'm talking about. Those who are simply behaving like jerks.

I think some people are so full of themselves, that rejection of their ideas results in some very negative responses. I have seen a number of people that appear very proud of stomping on others, but then turn out to be very thin-skinned when others push back. These individuals do not seem to be able to have their cherished ideas challenged, but don't quite understand the relationship to their own approach. They set themselves up for sarcasm and pithy retort. If one is going to step in toes, then one should be ready to get stepped on in turn. I have to admit, I like those guys with sensitive toes.

 

[Heyo]

That is a stupid question. He didn't say anything like I was that way as an infant, just God made him that way

You probably think whichever 'happy clappy philosophy' you follow develops the mind. The reverse is true they shut the mind down

@columbus @stvdv
An excellent example of a classical misunderstanding.
You took stvdv's snark as insulting while columbus understood it as friendly banter and handled it gracefully with a witty retort without injecting any bile.

 

[lukethethird]

Why can't you people just believe.