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Who hates me more, myself or God?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Link, Dec 1, 2020.

  1. Link

    Link Well-Known Member
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    I know God has compassion for me, this not what I mean by God hates me, that he doesn't wish me well. As for me, the problem is I hate myself as in I hate the traits of gained and my habits and my constant disobedience to God knowingly and being pulled by Satan not heedlessly but knowingly and with insight and certainty it's Satan's call and with certainty it brings me to hell and distance from God.

    You read about the person with knowledge who doesn't apply his knowledge, this is me, and there is no one hated more then who God has taught so much and shown so much signs and has witnessed the Guides and witness hidden authority and kingdom of the universe, but still, sticks to the earth and is petty, and inclines to his passions and runs away from God constantly.

    There are hadiths that the stench of those with knowledge is that all people of hell will complain of it. There is evil and then there is people like me, who Michael and his Angels and Gabriel and his Angels can do everything and all Chosen households of all times can come to me, and all things can be gathered, and God himself can even talk to me if he wants, and still, it won't save me, God could extend every way of help, every atom of the universe lending me light a long with earth, mountains, and I see the Imam of time guiding all that, and on top of the world watching us, and still, it won't help me much, I enjoy sins and despite seeing God see me and knowing his sight is the true nature of reality and material world is a lie and can't have reality, I still shamelessly disobey.

    And what is new, I am losing compassion for myself, I am certain 100% if I suicide, it would land me to hell, but funny thing, is because I hate myself so much I almost don't want God to forgive me anymore, it's not that I think I can suicide pain goes away, it's that I am so sick and tired of myself taking advantage of God's forbearance and mercy that I just want to send myself to hell.

    It's disgusting how God keeps opening new heights of knowledge of Quran and Sunnah I never imagined I would get, and this doesn't increase me in obedience, but more disobedience and instead of leaving sins, I open new gates of levels of sins I never imagined myself getting innto.

    I love God and it doesn't matter to me if he lands me to hell, I won't stop loving Him/her/it, but I can't understand why I don't respect God. From the day God has shown me himself I never stopped seeing him, whether playing a video game, listening to a professor lecture about data structures, or looking a woman naked, I never for a moment stopped seeing him. He never let his light disappear from my gaze despite my evil ways.

    I don't know why I can't respect God enough to show gratitude for his favors. It's like I love testing God and seeing to the extent of evil I can go to, and if he will change the time of death or punish me early, but all he does is more good.

    I hate the fact I taken so much advantage of God, and get a thrill doing sins, just to see if God will stop increasing me in insights but he doesn't. He teaches me more, and keeps me giving me insight as if I am a saint. Why didn't he just kill me and send me to hell already, I don't understand. If he won't do it, maybe I will, is the kind of thoughts I am going through.
     
  2. DagonVarunaMitraApolloZan

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    Very interesting! I am still reading through, but I immediately enjoyed the provocative and immediately fascinating title as well! Excellent work and writing, even without having read it yet, I can tell this is going to be very wonderful, leading to wonderful thinking!
     
  3. DagonVarunaMitraApolloZan

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    I've read more, this is the best or one of the best pieces of writing on all of the forum so far!
     
  4. DagonVarunaMitraApolloZan

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    I completed reading the writing.

    Can you pray to God to take this feeling away from you and make you free of sin (and the desire to sin and performing sins), forgive you, and make you free of guilt? If God won't do that for you, then your question is answered, and all you have to do is wait.
     
  5. Link

    Link Well-Known Member
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    I should, shouldn't I? Maybe someone here has compassion for me and prays for me, and God will accept it, he knows every time I pray I don't follow through or sincerely mean what I pledge and promise.

    I promised so many times I would stop my evil ways, I am pretty sure I am broken record to God in that kind of repentance prayers. I don't think it has any meaning anymore my prayers, I pray for one thing than do everything to sabotage the prayer and pledge very fast and very soon.
     
  6. sun rise

    sun rise "This is the Hour of God"
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    @Link please reach out to someone to help you deal with suicidal thoughts.
     
  7. DagonVarunaMitraApolloZan

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    Well, I mean, if one prays that the "sinning more" permanently goes away (without doing damage to your body or ability to live), then one is leaving the ball in God's court for example, so if one does sin more, then it is God who is to blame for not taking that propensity out of you, it doesn't make you free regarding the penalty, but at least it would in some way perhaps demonstrate that God doesn't really love you, because if God did love you, God would eliminate that thing that is causing you to sin, which God can easily do.

    Like:
    End of Surah Al-Insan (Man):
    "These people love the present life, and leave behind a Heavy Day.
    We have created them, and strengthened their frame; and if we wish, We can replace them with others like them.
    This is a reminder. Let whoever wills, take a path to his Lord.
    Yet you cannot will, unless God wills. God is Knowing and Wise.
    He admits whom He wills into His mercy. But He has prepared a painful punishment for the unjust."

    End of Surah At-Tawkir (Cessation):
    "And it (the Qur'an) is not the word of a devil, outcast.
    So what path would you take?
    It is only a reminder to all humankind
    to whoever of you wills to take the Straight Way.
    But you cannot will, unless God, the Lord of the worlds, so wills."

    End of Surah Al-Mudathir (Cloaked One):
    74:42 “What has landed you in Hell?”
    74:43 They will reply, “We were not of those who prayed,
    74:44 nor did we feed the poor.
    74:45 We used to indulge ˹in falsehood˺ along with others,
    74:46 and deny the Day of Judgment,
    74:47 until the inevitable came to us.”
    74:48 So the pleas of intercessors will be of no benefit to them.
    74:49 Now, what is the matter with them that they are turning away from the reminder,
    74:50 as if they were spooked zebras
    74:51 fleeing from a lion?
    74:52 In fact, each one of them wishes to be given a ˹personal˺ letter ˹from Allah˺ for all ˹to read˺.
    74:53 But no! In fact, they do not fear the Hereafter.
    74:54 Enough! Surely this ˹Quran˺ is a reminder.
    74:55 So let whoever wills be mindful of it.
    74:56 But they cannot do so unless Allah wills. He ˹alone˺ is worthy to be feared and entitled to forgive."

    Here:
    "
    18:13 We relate to you their account in truth. They were indeed youths who had faith in their Lord, and We had enhanced them in guidance
    18:14 and fortified their hearts, when they stood up and said, ‘Our Lord is the Lord of the heavens and the earth. We will never invoke any god besides Him, for then we shall certainly have said an atrocious lie
    18:15 These—our people— have taken gods besides Him. Why do they not bring any clear authority touching them? So who is a greater wrongdoer than he who fabricates a lie against Allah
    18:16 When you have dissociated yourselves from them and from what they worship except Allah, then take refuge in the Cave. Your Lord will unfold His mercy for you, and He will help you on to ease in your affair.&rsquo
    18:17 You may see the sun, when it rises, slanting toward the right of their cave, and, when it sets, cut across them towards the left, while they are in a cavern within it. That is one of Allah’s signs. Whomever Allah guides is rightly guided, and whomever He leads astray, you will never find for him any guardian or guide"

    Which is repeated a lot in the Qur'an.

    The Qur'an says that only Allah can take away your propensity, its not up to you, you can't keep those promises because you are not the one who is able to do so, it isn't by your strength or will that any of it is possible, that is why you would need Allah to do it.

    The Quranic Arabic Corpus - Quran Dictionary

    So Solomon's prayer for example, seemed to say:

    27:19
    Solomon then smiled broadly at her (the ant's) words, and said, "My Lord! Make me grateful for your favours which You have bestowed on me and on my parents. And make me do righteous deeds which You are pleased with. And put me in the list of Your righteous devotees!"

    "Make Me"

    Al-Muzil: The Abaser (25 / 99 Names of Allah)

    Al-Muzil or "Mudhill", the Abaser or The One Who Dishonors and brings low. This is a name of Allah you may wish to remember or recite, since Allah is basically putting you under a curse of being dishonored, dishonorable, dishonoring yourself, dishonoring Allah, all dishonor and abasement, bringing you low, probably which could lead towards you learning humility, helplessness, and "surrender". So long as you think you are responsible and capable of even willing or desiring to do good without Allah putting that into you and literally making you do it, bringing it about as your experience and reality, you won't be able to at all, and will be repeatedly shown that such is not even possible or within your capacity whatsoever. When Allah "removes the disease" or "lifts the affliction" it is like a simple switch is turn on or off, and you're suddenly not even like you were before, but you can't make that happen, you can't force Allah to do it, and it could be that Allah will never do that to you, or for any people who are good, Allah might take it away from them in an instant, we are helpless before Allah, just like leaves in the wind, Allah chooses where they are blown and land, if they land in a good place, or filth, or whatever.

    Every time you see a "mud hill" you can remember again this name, the one who makes your name Mud, or Ahmud.

     
  8. DagonVarunaMitraApolloZan

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    Look what Allah is doing to these people for example.



    Are the sins of which you speak mostly of a sexual nature?
     
    #8 DagonVarunaMitraApolloZan, Dec 1, 2020
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2020
  9. nPeace

    nPeace Well-Known Member

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    We hate ourselves. God does not hate us.
    However, if we leave God, he will leave us.

    Some things can be hard though. Sometimes our childhood experiences make things harder, and sometimes we feel worthless. You are not alone. Countless people feel this way, or have felt this way before.
    I personally know persons struggling with feelings of worthlessness. I know of some whom have overcome those feeling to a great degree.. though not entirely, with the help of Jehovah.

    The thing is, to find comfort, and support, and God does provide these, because he cares for us.
    We can remember we can "assure our hearts before him regarding whatever our hearts may condemn us in, because God is greater than our hearts and knows all things." (1 John 3:19, 20)
    In other words, though we may feel self condemned, God is greater than our self-condemning heart.

    I like Solomon's words, because they contain vital keys.
    (1 Chronicles 28:9) 9 “And you, Solomon my son, know the God of your father and serve him with a complete heart and with a delightful soul, for Jehovah searches through all hearts, and he discerns every inclination of the thoughts. If you search for him, he will let himself be found by you, but if you leave him, he will reject you forever.

    Let's make an RPG.
    There is one key you need to find, to exit the dungeon. key.png Knowledge (know the God of your father)
    To find that key, you need to do what most RPGs require... search. (If you search for him)
    Once you acquire that key, a path to the exit will be created. (he will let himself be found by you)
    All you need to do is follow that path... but it won't be easy. (serve him with a complete heart and with a delightful soul)
    Most RPGs has enemies; traps; and distractions, or lures. So, you have to be careful you don't lose your key. You will, if you fall for the lures, and distractions, and fall into the enemies' hands and traps. (Jehovah searches through all hearts, and he discerns every inclination of the thoughts.)
    Most RPGs you are armed. (Ephesians 6:14-20)
    So, it much depends on you, and if you want to get out alive, and win.
    I think winning is better than losing. I don't like to lose. Do you? :)

    I guess that's what it come down to... How we choose - Our choice.

    So, I encourage you to make your way out of the dungeon. A new level awaits you - perhaps some allies, and more armor, and a reward, at the end of it. A reward that's greater than wining any game.
    So Fight.
    [​IMG]
     
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  10. DagonVarunaMitraApolloZan

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    Or use the internet to find some cheat codes.
     
  11. syo

    syo Well-Known Member

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    In the new testament there is a story of the prodigal son. Do you think it might help you?
     
  12. nPeace

    nPeace Well-Known Member

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    If you sincerely want to stop doing the wrongs against God, and you feel within your heart, you want to love God, then God has not given up on you. I think though, the problem is not knowing God. Sometimes we are finding it hard to show love for God, because we really don't know him.
    Do you think that is something worth considering?
    Usually a person who has come to know God, and pursues a life of sin, don't want to stop. They deliberately set out to sin, but that doesn't seem to be what you are describing.
     
  13. KenS

    KenS Face to face with my Father
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    I think a revelation of grace is the best antidote even as Paul understood it.

    Rom 7:17-20 But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can’t keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don’t have what it takes. I can will it, but I can’t do it. I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.

    21-23 It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God’s commands, but it’s pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.

    24 I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question?

    25 The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.

    He, God, not only loves you but accepts you just as you are and through Jesus (in the Christian viewpoint) will change you from the inside out.

    Grace - is God's unmerited favor - or (as Christians put it) God's Riches At Christ's Expense.

    When you understand God's love for you, you can begin to love yourself. A domino effect.
     
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  14. nPeace

    nPeace Well-Known Member

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    Hmmm. Cheating tend to take a lot out of the game, I find.
    Reading the manual through is often the best way for me, since it's more exciting when you have to use strategy, which enhances your knowledge, understanding, and experience. ;)
     
  15. nPeace

    nPeace Well-Known Member

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    I had that same scripture in mind, but didn't fit it in. :)
     
  16. PureX

    PureX Veteran Member

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    God wants me to be human, as evidenced by the fact that I am here, and I am human. So that being the case, and the fact that humans inevitably make many mistakes, why would I presume that God does not want me to make any mistakes? To do so, I think, would be to presume God's a fool who expects what he cannot logically have as designed by his own actions.

    I view this entirely differently. I believe I exist to be what I am. Not to be like God, or to be a 'saint', but to be "like myself". To be as fully me as I can be, in spite of all the influences in the world trying to make me into someone else.
     
  17. DagonVarunaMitraApolloZan

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    Luke 15:11-32
    11 Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. 12 The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them. 13 “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14 After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need.

    15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16 He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. 17 “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.

    19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ 20 So he got up and went to his father. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

    21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

    22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

    25 “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27 ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’ 28 “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him.

    29 But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’

    31 “ ‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32 But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ ”

    Luke 15 Commentary - Commentary Critical and Explanatory on the Whole Bible


    Luke 15 Commentary - Geneva Study Bible


    Luke 15:1 - Meaning and Commentary on Bible Verse

    So, my review of that story is that it is a truly horrible and stupid story, did I read the wrong one? Its total trash. This is how God repays his slaves and good obedient people, by giving whore-mongers the benefit? Then seriously, EFF that God, what a despicable piece of trash. How could anyone say this story is wise or good? Are you people out of your minds?
     
  18. nPeace

    nPeace Well-Known Member

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    Doesn't appear @Link is talking about mistakes, but a willingness to honor God, by loving the things he loves, and hating the things he hates.
    It's like the child who seems inclined to wallowing in the excrement and other filth, while another takes him and cleans him off.
    Yet, though the child grows to an adult, they still enjoy wallowing in excrement, while the parent, or others is encouraging them to keep clean.
     
  19. syo

    syo Well-Known Member

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    Whoremongers???
     
  20. DagonVarunaMitraApolloZan

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    More bad stories:

    16 And he said also unto his disciples, There was a certain rich man, which had a steward; and the same was accused unto him that he had wasted his goods.

    2 And he called him, and said unto him, How is it that I hear this of thee? give an account of thy stewardship; for thou mayest be no longer steward.

    3 Then the steward said within himself, What shall I do? for my lord taketh away from me the stewardship: I cannot dig; to beg I am ashamed.

    4 I am resolved what to do, that, when I am put out of the stewardship, they may receive me into their houses.

    5 So he called every one of his lord's debtors unto him, and said unto the first, How much owest thou unto my lord?

    6 And he said, An hundred measures of oil. And he said unto him, Take thy bill, and sit down quickly, and write fifty.

    7 Then said he to another, And how much owest thou? And he said, An hundred measures of wheat. And he said unto him, Take thy bill, and write fourscore.

    8 And the lord commended the unjust steward, because he had done wisely: for the children of this world are in their generation wiser than the children of light.

    9 And I say unto you, Make to yourselves friends of the mammon of unrighteousness; that, when ye fail, they may receive you into everlasting habitations.


    10 He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much.

    11 If therefore ye have not been faithful in the unrighteous mammon, who will commit to your trust the true riches?

    12 And if ye have not been faithful in that which is another man's, who shall give you that which is your own?

    13 No servant can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

    14 And the Pharisees also, who were covetous, heard all these things: and they derided him.

    15 And he said unto them, Ye are they which justify yourselves before men; but God knoweth your hearts: for that which is highly esteemed among men is abomination in the sight of God.

    16 The law and the prophets were until John: since that time the kingdom of God is preached, and every man presseth into it.

    17 And it is easier for heaven and earth to pass, than one tittle of the law to fail.

    18 Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

    19 There was a certain rich man, which was clothed in purple and fine linen, and fared sumptuously every day:

    20 And there was a certain beggar named Lazarus, which was laid at his gate, full of sores,

    21 And desiring to be fed with the crumbs which fell from the rich man's table: moreover the dogs came and licked his sores.

    22 And it came to pass, that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels into Abraham's bosom: the rich man also died, and was buried;

    23 And in hell he lift up his eyes, being in torments, and seeth Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom.

    24 And he cried and said, Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus, that he may dip the tip of his finger in water, and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame.

    25 But Abraham said, Son, remember that thou in thy lifetime receivedst thy good things, and likewise Lazarus evil things: but now he is comforted, and thou art tormented.

    26 And beside all this, between us and you there is a great gulf fixed: so that they which would pass from hence to you cannot; neither can they pass to us, that would come from thence.

    27 Then he said, I pray thee therefore, father, that thou wouldest send him to my father's house:

    28 For I have five brethren; that he may testify unto them, lest they also come into this place of torment.

    29 Abraham saith unto him, They have Moses and the prophets; let them hear them.

    30 And he said, Nay, father Abraham: but if one went unto them from the dead, they will repent.

    31 And he said unto him, If they hear not Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded, though one rose from the dead.
     
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