While with co workers or friends, are you able to admit fear?

[Hold]

I believe I understand the reasons that would cause you or me to be apprehensive in certain situations. I'm curious whether admitting apprehension or fear to those around us is difficult for you. Are there unusual experiences that you have had that made it obvious to others you were afraid but you found it impossible to admit to that fear in real life?

 

[ChristineM]

I believe I understand the reasons that would cause you or me to be apprehensive in certain situations. I'm curious whether admitting apprehension or fear to those around us is difficult for you. Are there unusual experiences that you have had that made it obvious to others you were afraid but you found it impossible to admit to that fear in real life?

This is difficult to explain so if it sounds sketchy it's because i cannot fill in too much detail... Maybe one day but not yet and if it sounds crazy that's because it was

I got myself into an situation that just wouldn't let go, it included threats to myself, my children my husband and family, psychological and physical torture, pain, unwanted coercion and much more. It frightening me so much that i considered suicide as an escape.

My husband knew, he was also scared, scared for me and for hisoen life because on trying to defuse the situation he wound up hospitalised twice.

There was no way that we could confide in anyone, family and friends simply could not understand and fear kept us compliant. From a gregarious couple we became reclusive, secretive, shunning friends and family, scared of them finding out. Even to the extent of going food shopping at daft o'clock on the morning at all night supermarkets so as to avoid meeting anyone we knew. We lived like that for 6 months.

It got so obvious there was a serious problem that one day a good friend confronted us. It all came out, and like magic it was all sorted. The lifting of constant fear is the most invigorating feeling.

We have (hubby and I) have taken counseling and are, i think, as close to being over it as it is possible to be. It's got to the stage that i now vary rarely wake up screaming from a recurring nightmare

I joined the Survivors Circle forum here on RF with the full intention of relating the whole story. I have started to compose the post 3 times now but it seems i am not yet ready.

 

[JustGeorge]

Sometimes. It depends on if its a valid fear, or a ridiculous nonsensical worry. I can admit the ones that make sense, but not the strange ones that don't make sense.

 

[Mock Turtle]

I'm not sure this is helpful at all but several of my most fearful experiences have been whilst sailing chartered yachts, where I was the skipper in charge with several lives to be looked after, and where I was the most experienced on board. This usually entailed heavy weather, like experiencing my first ever gale at sea in smallish yachts, and on every occasion it seemed rather important not to show any fear even if I did feel some. I did of course.

An amusing incident broke the silence during the first occasion - travelling back from Ireland to Scotland - and after I realised the weather wasn't going to get any worse and that the boat could handle it fine - if I just took care. Having regular 25' waves coming from the side wasn't pleasant. The boat was a twin-keeler, and I was not sure how stable it was, given that single keel boats have the kind of stability so as to self-right but a twin-keeler not so much. It might be just as stable upside down for example.

The second incident involved even worse weather (ripped sail and breakages), together with three crew members rather out of the picture with sea-sickness. Myself and two others - nice reliable types fortunately - managed, but I'm sure we all were somewhat fearful as to the outcome but this eased off as we drew closer to our destination. Perhaps the stiff upper lip approach is useful in such situations, even if others noticed this was just a front.

I can't remember anyone asking whether I was fearful - I assumed we all were.