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When a loved one dies

Spiderman

Veteran Member
Have you ever had a family member or a loved one or close friend die? How did it affect you and how did you cope?

I had a close friend in high school who broke his neck and wound up paralyzed from the neck down. To me that was a much greater loss and tragedy than if he would have just died.

That was over ten years ago, so I'm hoping he's no longer alive, because quadriplegics don't live that long.
 

Dave Watchman

Active Member
Have you ever had a family member or a loved one or close friend die?

Yes.

How did it affect you and how did you cope?

I didn't like it. It made me mean.

I had a close friend in high school who broke his neck and wound up paralyzed from the neck down. To me that was a much greater loss and tragedy than if he would have just died.

I think so too.

That was over ten years ago, so I'm hoping he's no longer alive, because quadriplegics don't live that long.

Life is short. The carnal mind thinks it's going to live forever. Who cares if we live to 100. The last 20 years will be a bummer. Seek the Lord in your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, “I find no pleasure in them”.

My Mom cried when they took her horse Danny away to turn him into cat food. Her dad took off so she had no money to feed him. She stole hay from the neighbors. They took him away.

In this life we will have tribulation. But we do not mourn as others do who have no hope. All things will be made new one day. That's when the real fun will begin. The sufferings in this life will not matter.

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.​

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VoidCat

Pronouns: he/him/they/them
Yes.Ever had mild catatonia? Well I have due to psychological grief after losing several people in my life. Granted only 2 of them died but you still can lose someone without them dying.
 
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Spirit of Light

Be who ever you want
Lost both parents to cancer.
My dad died in 2000 and my mom in 2013.
Because of the sickness i knew it would happen, so i had time to prepare for it.
 

SalixIncendium

अग्निविलोवनन्दः
Staff member
Premium Member
Have you ever had a family member or a loved one or close friend die? How did it affect you and how did you cope?

Yes. I lost a brother to a motorcycle accident in 2002 and a daughter to cancer in 2007.

With my brother, I thought I was in control until shock wore off and reality set in. I was emotional and less than rational. Finding out every last detail helped a bit, but it was more of a distraction than anything else. 17 years later, there's still an impulse of anger whenever I see a crotch rocket and anxiety when I see someone driving recklessly on one.

With my daughter, I will say that it changed me completely. I believe I've been through the worst ordeal a human being can possibly deal with. I'm certain a mental health professional would tell you I did not deal with it well. There was a period of time where I just wanted people to stop giving me their condolences. I then went through a period of time in denial that she ever existed, hiding away any memories of her including pictures, personal belongings, etc.

In the 12 years since her death, I've done a lot of research, psychological, allopathic, and spiritual, that have brought me to realizations and understandings of these events. That's not to say that my ego-self doesn't break down now and again, but my true self has grown to understand and accept what my ego-self has experienced.
 

Spiderman

Veteran Member
Yes. I lost a brother to a motorcycle accident in 2002 and a daughter to cancer in 2007.

With my brother, I thought I was in control until shock wore off and reality set in. I was emotional and less than rational. Finding out every last detail helped a bit, but it was more of a distraction than anything else. 17 years later, there's still an impulse of anger whenever I see a crotch rocket and anxiety when I see someone driving recklessly on one.

With my daughter, I will say that it changed me completely. I believe I've been through the worst ordeal a human being can possibly deal with. I'm certain a mental health professional would tell you I did not deal with it well. There was a period of time where I just wanted people to stop giving me their condolences. I then went through a period of time in denial that she ever existed, hiding away any memories of her including pictures, personal belongings, etc.

In the 12 years since her death, I've done a lot of research, psychological, allopathic, and spiritual, that have brought me to realizations and understandings of these events. That's not to say that my ego-self doesn't break down now and again, but my true self has grown to understand and accept what my ego-self has experienced.
That's very sad. Thank you so much for sharing. That is a huge cross to carry and very sorrowful. May God reward you for your pain.
 

ADigitalArtist

Veteran Member
Staff member
Premium Member
I had a close friend in high school who broke his neck and wound up paralyzed from the neck down. To me that was a much greater loss and tragedy than if he would have just died.

That was over ten years ago, so I'm hoping he's no longer alive, because quadriplegics don't live that long.
That's a bit negative. I rather hope for a good prognosis and that they live a fulfilling life despite their challenges and disadvantages. Be careful not to project your own struggles and fatalism onto others.
 

URAVIP2ME

Veteran Member
Have you ever had a family member or a loved one or close friend die? How did it affect you and how did you cope?.............

My first experience with death was the sudden death of my father when I was only three and a half.
In a nut shell, hearing Luke 23:43 read gave me great comfort.
I had No idea what paradise was other then a beautiful word.
The fact that Jesus could promise paradise to a criminal to me meant hope of paradise for my father.
After all, my father just died, he was Not put to death for being a criminal.
So, never underestimate the power that can be found by hearing and reading Scripture for one's self.
The 'hope' Jesus offered that criminal shows how much compassion and mercy Jesus has for us.
 

Unveiled Artist

Veteran Member
Have you ever had a family member or a loved one or close friend die? How did it affect you and how did you cope?

I had a close friend in high school who broke his neck and wound up paralyzed from the neck down. To me that was a much greater loss and tragedy than if he would have just died.

That was over ten years ago, so I'm hoping he's no longer alive, because quadriplegics don't live that long.

My best friend has similar sentiments as you. She said she is more upset when a person lives in pain than when they die. So, basically, she is celebrating their death as an escape to be with god.

I lost my grandmother four or so years ago. I lost my best friend/aunt last year Jan 6th. How did I cope? I cried for months. Went through the natural process of grief (just not in "that order") With my grandmother, all year I was doubled over. Although I am closer to my aunt, it's been better after half a year. Now it's off and on as long as I have her picture and ashes.

I cope by talking to her sometimes. Prayer these days. Silent moment of being around her. She was dying. She felt no one cared about her but her nephew/my brother who cared for her when she became ill and me since we share similar illnesses and sentiments of people caring. "Throw me in a box when I die" she'd say.

I can't say I celebrate her lost rather than her living. As I'm becoming more comfortable with death, I am not seeing a difference between the two states.
 
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Saint Frankenstein

Wanderer From Afar
Premium Member
Yes, I've had multiple family members die. My mom hit me the hardest and I'm still picking up the pieces. I don't think I need to go on about it if you know me well enough.
 

osgart

Nothing my eye, Something for sure
My brother is a quadriplegic going on 31 years and still kicking.

I have lost a few family members though.

It aint easy. At first i thought why. Then i realized we are all headed for death, and every moment your alive is a gift.
 
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